Just in case you had a bad day hereâs a prairie dog taking a bath.
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Just in case you had a bad day hereâs a prairie dog taking a bath.

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Napoleon Dynamite
THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT

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when he tells you to swallow but you were gonna spit:
You not finding me attractive is not going to stop me from being attractive.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU KEEP THIS MINDSET YOU WILL GET SOOO MUCH CONFIDENCE

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Reblog if you support romantic same sex relationship themes and gay characters in childrens entertainment!
Cut my life into peaches. They are a healthy snack
i hope the âwhy you always lyinâ guy is having a good day
Boy, bye.
Zoe needs extra credit for this.
No games!
Lmao she is not having it!
Zoe not playing and Iâm proud of ha

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⢠Use the hand you write with.
⢠Make a fist with your thumb outside, not tucked inside. If itâs tucked inside your fist, when you punch someone, you might break your thumb. The thumb goes across your fingers, not on the side.
⢠Donât be like in the moviesâdonât aim for the face. Face punches donât usually stop people, and you can miss when they duck their head or break your hand on their jaw. If you want to get away quickly, or end a fight, aim for the chest, or the ribs. If you really want to do some damage, e.g., youâre being attacked, aim for the throat, which will make it hard for your attacker to breathe for a hot minute.
⢠When you punch, you want to aim and hit with your first two knuckles. Not the flats of your fingers, and not your ring or pinky knuckles, which can break more easily. You can use your weight, if youâre on your feet, to add wallop, and spring into a punch with your feet and torso.
Useful information, esp. if you havenât taken self defense.
I reblogged this once before to add this and Iâll do it againâŚ
keep your wrist straight.
You can also risk breaking your wrist if you allow it to bend. Â I actually canât believe this isnât in there.
Other good pointers:
if your attacker is male, go for his junk - especially if heâs wearing loose pants. Thereâs no sportsmanship when it comes to assault so fuck them balls UP
punching pretty much ANYWHERE in the face is going to actually hurt you a LOT (just think - youâre punching your bones into their bones and ow). If youâre going for the face, my suggestion is to strick upwards with your palm.
see that meaty portion highlighted in red? Thereâs a lot of muscle and fat right there which makes it excellent for striking. Hold your hand as shown and aim for the nose or chin (though Iâve been told in extreme circumstances, doing this to the nose can be fatal but Iâve never really heard if this is true or not) and just aim upwards
other delicate areas:Â
the shin (hurts like a bitch if you kick it right - also, you can hit this spot if youâre being held in a choke-hold and if your attacker has to move in order to stop you from kicking him, heâll have to angle his body so as to expose his stomach and crotch to the wild spastic jabbings of your elbows)
the solar plexus (either jab while holding your hand in a sort of spear position or use your elbows - unless youâre super strong, your punch probably wonât wind your attacker. Your elbow or a spear hand will, however)
Originally in (most) martial arts, you hit the solar plexus because it supposedly contained an important chakra. Now we know that it actually also contains like a bunch of necessary organs that are exposed just below your ribs and is also (roughly) where your diaphragm lives so getting punched there is not pleasant.
the clavicle (from experience, getting hit in your clavicle HURTS LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER. If you strike downwards with your knuckles, the person might just cry. Like I did.)
the ear (this is probably the best place to punch besides the throat. Itâs all cartilage so it probably wonât hurt you all that much and most people will be like âDUDE YOU PUNCHED ME IN THE EAR WHAT THE HELLâ)
the kidneys (this is harder to hit without training but if you somehow get your attackerâs back to face you, try to hitâem in the kidneys. Again, from experience, this FUCKING HURTS. You canât really hit the kidneys from the front with any effect but from the back it is super painful)
if youâre held in a choke-hold, try turning your head so the forearm isnât pressed into your throat. If you can position yourself right, you can sort of force your chin into the crook of the elbow, making you able to still receive (limited) oxygen and provide time for you to kick some shins or elbow some spleens and shit
-Also, remember that a guyâs junk is not an off-button. Donât think that you can rely on a swift kick to the balls to immediately incapacitate him in an emergency. Adrenaline and anger can keep somebody going for a long time even through extreme pain, and if you expect to end a fight with a single groin-attack you might be caught off-guard when he doesnât drop. Certainly go for it if you get the chance, but keep hitting him until the fight is over.
-Draw blood if you can, especially if you can draw it from the face or the eyes. Blood in the eyes is not just a good way to impair your attackerâs vision, itâs also a really good way to freak them out and let them know that they might be getting more than they bargained for by picking a fight with you.
-Elbows and knees are really powerful weapons. Elbows are very sharp and very strong and if you are in close-range they are often more effective than trying to throw a punch.Â
-Yelling and shouting makes you scary.Â
Nothing much to add to this, itâs pretty much all there. So. Reblog. Oh, also, itâs really easy to break a nose - go for the eyes too. All it takes to avoid a shot to the throat is tucking your chin. Also, that part about the ear - donât punch. An open hand over the ear hurts a lot.
Tumblr teaching me how to fuck a bitch up
Also if you fuck up their face itâll be easier for police to identify the attacker.
If someone gets you from behind and you cant punch them, go for the underside of the upper-arm. A bad pinch there is legit so painful because that skin is super sensitive. Also this cant be stressed enough, if the attacker is a guy then fucking rip his junk off.
When throwing a punch:
reblog to save a fuckin life
refused. to. work. a. KIDSâ. game. KIDS.Â
Yeah. The system is totally fine. not broken at all. everything is aces.