Welcome to my swamp.

Do girls actually enjoy being fingered or is that a myth?

Depends if you know the difference between summoning a genie and stuffing a chicken.

the best analogy

if you dont eat the pizza crust you are weak and natural selection is coming for you

*gets a sugar daddy just to pay for textbooks*

Do you ever have that one line in a song that just means the world to you and has this deeper meaning that you feel just explains everything and then your friends listen to it and are just like that’s cool but you’re like NO  THAT LINE IS JUST EVERYTHING HOW DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND and you realize just how much music means to you

This is important

IMPORTANT. BOOST.

Fun little trick I learned in therapy: validation. When someone is upset, don’t try to fix the problem, point out the cause, or tell them it could be worse. Just validate their emotions. Be like, ‘shit yeah man, that sucks. I’m sorry you’re going through that. I’m here for you.’ That’s literally all you have to do to make them feel better. Thank you and goodnight.

there is a difference between people who are smart and people who get good grades

oh.

Emo Problem #826- When the wind blows your side bangs back, and you see everyone you hate, with both eyes

The ol rrrrrrrazzle dazzle

The longer I watch, the funnier it gets

Do you ever just hate someone bc they remind you of yourself

what if all the scenerios we make up in our head are actually real events happening in an alternative universe and we’re actually connecting with our alternate self’s mind

my alternate self is getting some serious dick 

Sext

WHAT WOULD POSSES YOU TO LEAVE GOOGLE FOR BING

"Did you mean: Congratulations TRAITOR!" that’s fucking priceless.