BE GOOD.

finally finished my first official art piece that took like half a fucking year to do oh my days whatever. now i can get around to like. actually doing something with the au. BUT good news is I’ve had a LOT of time to think about how to actually go about doing it so it’s almost mostly figured out by now. look at my hellspawn

again - the highlighter ruined it

i don’t feel like context. they removed and sold his legs. that’s it. all that happened

H*meln training marcus or whatever BULLSHIT to make him less sensitive to noise (update - it made him more sensitive to noise)

marcus bonding with winnie/flower rebecca gave him/chompin sum PIE

too loud :(

IM THE ONE WHO SUFFERED MOST I NEVER WANTED A DAMN BABY 🗣️🗣️🗣️

in love with this side profile

i finished exams and school like. forever so i was gonna draw them doing that but that’s boring as shit so. funbun cosplay

marcus having #issues and latching onto rebecca. because that’s so fucking comfortable for both of them

vent art with marc :(

body swap adventure!

the highlighters ruined this one

pre adoption rebecca!

concepts for the other kids 👀

okay REALLY FUNNY STORY really fucking funny story idk if i should explain who that is. it’s like. an accidental crack au rebecca i birthed from a typo and then my moot boris made it an Actual Thing. also /silly billy ref

the chudlings at 4 years old AWWW

marcus found another H*meln kid in rp and got tactical nuked with her cuteness

HELLSPAWN. cute hellspawn

old ask doodle

rp where marc and rewrite!marcus met

don’t like this one as much

various rps with rebecca

young!marcus - didn’t pick a specific age

tapemask designs that are straight ass

context (that i am not too proud of) - bro beat up wooly, played a lil dress up, got his shit rocked by containment!rebecca and hung out with a H*meln exec (EW)

how woolymanda first met as “babies”

How... Does he actually feel about the doctors? And how do they treat him usually? How does he feel about medical stuff in general? The medical horror aspect of ata has always been one of my favourite things if I'm being honest it's just so interesting and I know I've seen little tidbits about Marcus not being very happy about some of this stuff but I think you've said you've been retconning a lot of stuff recently so that's why I'm asking again. I'm really interested to see a more in-depth answer in regards to what he's been through medically and how it's affected him.

How does he feel about his portrayal as a sheep? I think I saw some old drawings of yours where he gets the Lamb nickname (my favourite my favourite my favourite it makes me Cry) does he find it degrading? Does he find comfort it in? Is he mixed? I wanna knowwwww 🥹

How well does he get along with the other kids? Does he KNOW about the other kids Hameln has abducted? What's the difference between his relationships with other kids and adults? How does he feel about teens?

Ok that's all I have for now, I hope this is ok. I also hope you don't mind this mini-vent but this community has been stressing me out a lot as of late (I don't really think I'm up to discuss it publicly if I'm being honest... But It's mostly the characterization conflict.) and I just really need some refresheners. In fact I'm trying not to cry right now aaaaa

thanks so much for asking. I’ve been holding off for ages as i want to tell most things through the story but i will happily answer these mootie. i totally understand feeling overwhelmed which is why I’ve just been chilling in the moot server ranting and roleplaying. i had to retcon rbh in the first place because i had too many ideas at once which resulted in literal torture porn within the conflict and i was lucky to have a sensitivity reader and sensitivity WRITER (@seasonalmoss @maddy-k-reads-all-day) to talk me through it and help me represent the themes accurately. unlike A CERTAIN THING I’ll shut up now

ohhh boyyy these are a lot of questions for martholomew. now i could just answer them and be a boring ass narrator but who better to tag me along and answer than THE BOY himself!1!1!

how do you feel about the doctors?

i respect them, of course! they’ve given me almost everything. they’ve kept me healthy and safe and taken care of pretty much my whole life. i haven’t really… given anything back… but- they said being obedient is fine enough. so that’s probably good.

he doesn’t have any comprehensible feelings towards the doctors that he acknowledges, and if he did he wouldn’t be able to handle or understand them in the first place. actually, that’s the problem. the only experiences he’s had with the doctors have either been neutral or horrible to some degree. except, they can’t be horrible! they’re practically part of his family and only want the best for him like everyone else! they make him feel good. they make him feel better. no matter whatever his silly side effects make him think, he knows who to trust.

in other words, he is so mentally delusional that he refuses to mark any doctors visit as a negative interaction. even though most of them are. if someone merely insinuated that maybe they’re not treating him or the other kids well he would be on them. manipulating and ridiculing and twisting around the conversation as he always does, to ensure that shallow mentality of his stays true.

how do they treat you?

uh… normally? i don’t- get this one. how they should, i suppose. like anyone else.

not going into full detail of what they do, but i can say it’s nothing anyone should have done to them. at least not without the proper consent and reasoning. how they treat him and the other kids is horrible and just. inappropriate (in the sense of unprofessional don’t even go there). yet it’s so normalised that the idea of it being anything other than good is horrifying to him.

how do you feel about your treatments and anything medical?

they’re nice! it’s a fun little thing to do in between my other tasks and helps distract me from… other stuff. plus it calms me down a bit. i think. it- depends.

medical stuff is just… well, medical. not much to say about that. it’s just what they have to use to get in places they need to.

as already stated he is very delusional about this topic. he refuses to dwell on it more than “procedure”. he is however very triggered by the topic and anything suggesting that his experiences are the horror that it is, because he fears actually having to confront it one day. he describes them as fun because that’s what they’re made out to be. anything he says and does is just a behaviour brought over from his own manipulation. as the procedures are made out to be a fun, pleasant game, he advocates them as such. he also plays a part in deluding everyone else to think and feel the same.

the mere presence of medical things have always disturbed him, he just pushes it down. he has no reason to be scared after all, his brain is just making everything out to be scary as it often does. sometimes biology can’t be helped. anything triggering sets off alarm bells in his head, and being marcus, he ignores them.

how do you feel about wooly and being portrayed as a sheep?

woolys nice! he’s a cool little character. that’s it, really… i tried to make him sound as nice and fun as possible. which is easy, considering how nice i am. heh.

i don’t really mind that he’s a sheep. it’s a cute little animal! it has earned me some names, like “lamb”. i like it. it means im doing… what i should!

he actually gains a lot of joy and self worth from performing as wooly. it’s distracted him through some of the worst points of his life. he doesn’t mind being labeled as a sheep and actually makes a few jokes about it. he finds a bit of pride in it and even envies woolys perfect friendship with amanda, causing him to yearn for that with rebecca.

how well do you get along with the other kids?

i love them! as they love me. we get along GREAT… most of the time. of course, it can’t be helped that some of them don’t know how to act their age or do as they’re told, but- they’ll get better at it! everyone does. it’s why i help them with things.

his most healthy relationships are with the kids. even if they’re toxic or misguiding, he genuinely cares for all of them. which is why he piles it onto rebecca in an attempt to befriend her almost instantly. he’s friends with everyone he knows! that’s just the way it is. there’s no opting out.

do you know about the other abducted children?

what a silly question… of course i do!!! they’re my greatest friends! we all have our place here and doing tasks and activities together is crucial for development. when the fun is necessary it’s DOUBLE the amount!… or something.

the children are a great and efficient distraction for each other. they can also use each other as coping mechanisms and direct any complicated feelings or internalised abuse tactics onto each other. it serves great for the system H*meln has developed and persuading them into praising their abusers. if everyone is happy, what’s the big deal?

what’s the difference between your relationship with the other kids and the adults?

well… i mostly help out the younger ones and the littles with outbursts. i think they listen to me better given im one of them… they get over things much faster. but its a simple relationship. i help them and they trust me to help them. and sometimes they even help me. NOT- that i really need it, but it’s cute to see them trying.

the adults are… helpful. for a start, they make sure i know what to do and when, and how to behave… all that boring stuff. they’re my protectors! they keep everyone nice and happy and well- good. that’s just what they do. it definitely helped back when i was more… difficult. i love them! as they love me. as they always have. they’re- they’re good to me.

being the eldest, marcus is parentified A LOT. he’s usually the one called on to deal with any kid having complicated behaviour or emotions to gaslight them into submission show them their place, the right path. he takes pride in being a guide and having this sort of saviour complex with them. it’s what he’s good at, praised for, so he knows what he’s doing with rebecca. he wants her to warm up to him as much as the others have. to trust him. and as much as he won’t admit, the others give him a sense of comfort too. there are more like him, who have been through done what he has. so it can’t be wrong, there are so many used to this already! they’re like his siblings, his family.

marcus is groomed into believing what H*meln does to him is a display of love or affection. he always takes their word for it, it doesn’t take much to convince him of something. however it DOES take a lot to convince him of the opposite. THIS is the constant wooly tactic we all know and are familiar with - DEFLECTION. this is also a tactic learned from H*meln as they will often excuse anything questionable for love and necessity. this is so hard on that he cringes at the times he would question anything himself in the past. good thing he’s a well mannered, behaving subject now! so obedient and willing to perpetuate any abuse they’d like him to.

how do you feel about teens?

that’s… a loaded question. depends on who. teenagers can be good but… a lot. i think there might be some kind of point where you stop caring about how you make others feel- and like- start doing bad things…? it’s- a lot. im just glad im not exactly one of those.

he’s had difficult relationships with older kids. he kind of has a bit of a confusing hatred towards them actually. good thing he’s the eldest now, and never has to worry about growing up and turning out like them. he’s the example after all! and he’s determined to set it. he can do so much better than any insolent nuisance who thinks they can get away with whatever they want. he’s better.

i would show art but ITS SECRET SHUT UP ITS SECRET YOURE NOT ALLOWED. so here’s a gift instead of a beta version of The Kids (i missed some details in these screenshots) and their redesigns in gacha life (im salty asf cuz everyone and their MOTHER got tomodachi except ME. I WANNA SWITCH. I WANNA SWITCH. I WANNA SWITCHHH)

ok. ok actually fine. why the fuck not. here’s your complicated baby <3

you’ve helped me a lot and given me so much peak and I’ve yet to give back rahhh

ok a few more things i wanna say. im really excited to go deeper into this because each kid represents a different form of abuse kinda, and a lot of them are what’s considered societally acceptable because H*MELN. REPRESENTS. SOCIETY. H*meln is LOWKENUINELY a fictional depiction of society change my mind oh wait you can’t because it’s TRUE

just like in the woolymanda analysis im cooking up, rebecca represents reactions to abuse (all the ones she’s been through) and marcus represents the cycle of abuse (something he refuses to escape from). this plot is about them confronting their situation and how they can break out of those habits and cycles LIKE. THE. FUCKING. GAMES shutting up now

DUDE ALL OF THIS IS SO GOOD IT.. IT. please let me calm fown for a second I saw your little "Hi Yuki!" drawing and I gasped and slapped my hand over my mouth and got all teary eyed I almost started crying he's SUCH A BABY. I'M ACTUALLY SHAKING LET ME CALM DOWN AWWWUUSHAAAAHHHH

I love the way you portray him. So. Fucking. Much. That is the most gaslit kid I have ever seen. I love the way you talk about Hameln it reminds me so much of my... Old experiences, but not in a way where I'm repulsed and scared. I feel seen. Like I actually feel seen like I was the polar opposite of Marcus sure, but holy hell the way the children reflect bad habits onto each other??? THAT LITERALLY HAPPENED TO ME AND THE OTHER KIDS BACK THEN. WE ALL GREW UP SO COMPLICATED IT WAS SO HARD FOR US TO CONNECT PROPERLY BECAUSE WE WERE CONFUSED WE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO OR SAY OR. HEY THIS IS WHY I LOVE AMANDA THE ADVENTURER SO FUCKING MUCH FOR ONCE I HAVE FOUND A SERIES THAT LET'S ME SPEAK OF THE SHIT I BEEN THROUGH AND WHAT IS SO NORMALIZED FOR KIDS TO GO THROUGH WHEN THEY SHOULD NOT BE DEALING WITH THIS SHIT AT ALLLLL. I love how you took some actual genuine advice to spruce things up, I don't really do that cause I worry I may not be able to handle it with enough care and I don't wanna stress myself out over being wrong or insensitive so I just prefer to stick to the things I know I can take. But this?? The EFFORT that went into making this as realistic as can go is INCREDIBLE. Marcus feeling the need to be the "mature" one amongst the group he's the teacher's pet, the adult's favourite. In the worst way possibleUAHDJFHF I LOVE HIM!!! like I said I was the polar opposite of him but for some reason that kinda makes me love him more. This is the perspective of what happens to children who genuinely give in to everything that the adults tell them AND I'M SHAKINGGG OH MY GOD I JUST CAN'T PUT IT INTO WORDS IT'S SO. IT'S JUST SO GOOD. HHE IS A BOY WITH SO MUCH LOVE AND CARE IN HIS HEART AND ALL OF IT IS GOING TO THE WRONG FUCKING PEOPLE I'M 🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋 AAAAGAGHHHHH /POS

THE WAY HE DOESNT WANT TO BRING UP THE THINGS THAT DRAG HIM DOWN OR MAKE HIM FEEL BAD IS BECAUSE ALL HE'S FOCUSED ON IS BEING THE GOODY TWO-SHOES, THE ROLE MODEL, THE KID THAT ALL OF THE OTHER KIDS ARE GONNA LOOK UP TO... BECAUSE HAMELN WANTS THEM TO. HE'S THEIR PRIME EXAMPLE, THEIR POSTER CHILD. HE IS THE MENTAL SACRIFICE TO SHOW CHILDREN THE "CORRECT WAY TO BEHAVE" AND HE CAN'T PASS THAT DOWN HE CAN'T LET GO BECAUSE IT'S WHAT HE BELIEVES HE IS DESTINED FOR. IT'S ALL HE CAN DO HE HAS NO CHOICE. AND I'M SHITTING MY PANTSSS OHHH MY GHODDDDDDDDD

I love rbh I love rbh I love rbh this au is such an incredible example of how absurdly normalized it is to scare kids into fitting the tight molds that adults want for them. The purpose of being a child is to explore the world and find what you love and who you are but it is The Adults, the people who protect you, feed and clothe you, care for you, keep you alive, who you are so desperate to impress because you NEED them lest you suffer. And all they know how to do... Is use that to their advantage. To create the perfect sculpts. Thats why I love the concept of Hameln, they are the prime example of how cultish acts infect innocence especially in CHILLDDDRREEEEENNN and I personally think rbh sums up all of it so perfectly like no other. This is that missing piece of Hameln that I have been dying to find for ages and I HAVE. FOUND IT. Thank you sososososososososooo much I am still shaking btw /pos

Also in a way it's a little bit comforting the way you describe him he's like that nice kid you'll meet at the school library and you have no idea he's just as fucked up as you are because he's so much better at hiding it and, he actually gets along with the adults. Something every other child is afraid to do.

IM SO GLAD YOU FEEL SEEN AND REPRESENTED I DIDNT REALLY EXPECT IT TO CONNECT TO ANYONE PERSONALLY??? youve shared your experiences before but HOLY SHIT this just means im doing my job RIGHTTT YAYYY. im actually presenting them in a realistic enough way if it reminds you of any shared hardships with REAL KIDS AGHHH TYSM

you hit it right on the nail with the marc analysis here. he’s their poster boy that’s exactly what he is. his TITLE is literally THE EXAMPLE. he’s the one the others need to follow which is WHY they praise him for being such a good boy and following every. single. command. he HAS to set a precedent for the others otherwise there will just be chaos and it will be his fault. he ensures everyone is as “happy” as possible because not only does it soothe them but it soothes HIM and he can keep living that lie peacefully.

and that IS what this is! a depiction of society and how abuse is EVERYWHERE and in EVERYTHING and children are getting the brunt of ALL OF IT. as someone who had to recently come to terms with their non abusive life being a tad abusive :( i have learned a lot of things through this fandom and my moots and I LOVE THE IMPLICATIONS WITH THE TV TRIO UGHHH so i said fuck you and carried it over into rbh. one of the worst parts of their abuse is how normalised it is for them and the thing is NOT EVERYONE FALLS FOR IT. there are some kids (including rebecca) who don’t just take their word or what excuses they use to justify it but THEY HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO COMPLY because the adults have THE UPPER HAND and keep trying to GASLIGHT THEM and all the others are following along so THEY CANNOT DO ANYTHING ELSE. sometimes children just. CANNOT WIN. children are the most oppressed group in the WORLD and it’s normalised so much in order for it to just keep happening forever. and that is the EXACT excuse H*meln uses to get away with their torture. they are getting away with their torture BECAUSE OF SOCIETYYY. people get away with everyday abuse because SOCIETY tells them they don’t need to be held accountable! WHICH IS STUPID!1!1!

i was literally SCARED to call my situation abusive because i didn’t want to label it as some GIANT CRIME SCHEME and it didn’t cause me depression or anything just shutdowns and meltdowns and the like. but NO IT IS REAL /SRS!1!1! i deserve to be affected and talk about how it’s affected me and so does marc but he CANT because THAT! IS! EXACTLY! HOW! MARC! FEELS!1!1! (but worse :D) he doesn’t want to confront the abuse because the moment he does he starts to DOUBT the lies and that is DANGER for him!!! if he starts to doubt he might even be UPSET (god forbid) about it. he might even (oh no) ACT OUT. and that is a danger to him because acting out will get him HURT and despite his delusions he DOES NOT WANT TO BE HURT. and who else does he not want to see hurt? HIS FRIENDS. REBECCA. WHICH IS WHYYY HE TRIES HIS DAMNDEST TO MANIPULATE EVERYONE AROUND HIM INTO THINKING THE SAME!!! SO HE CAN PROTECT THEM!!! KEEP THEM SAFE!!! he thinks he’s keeping them safe from the danger but they are IN THE DANGER. THEY ARE LIVING THE DANGER AND THEY HAVE TO PLAY THEIR PART TO ENSURE THEY LAST AS LONG AS POSSIBLE. JUST. LIKE. THE TAPES /PARALLEL!1!1!

as i said the whole thing is a CYCLE and the kids are only enabling this cycle in the first place so they can stick together and keep the best support system they can get in that place - EACH OTHER. (tapes. woolymanda. tapes. woolymandascratch. TAPES) i watched takopii recently and it just did everything ata couldn’t follow through with i was so seen and like oh my god. the way its just THEM. the message of the story is that happiness is born through talking and that has never been more true. it shows that sometimes abuse can’t be escaped from and that all a victim needs is to TALK and have people who LISTEN TO THEM. LISTEN TO CHILDREN is the message of ata and takopii actually REPRESENTS THAT. the rbh kids have only gone on for so long because of each other and the support systems they built by themselves since the adults refused to give a SHIT about them. marc gaslights everyone so he can keep that support system intact. he eventually manipulates rebecca because he WANTS HER TO BE HIS SUPPORT SYSTEM. he wants to be a support system for her and he wants HER to be there for HIM. yet he’ll never admit how much he needs her because that would be admitting he’s scared. and he’s hernando. he’s scared of nothing. rebecca has a hard time seeing through him for this EXACT reason (like how amanda is UNABLE to trust wooly!1!1!). she just can’t make out who he REALLY is and what he REALLY wants and how he REALLY feels about her. she doesn’t know if she’s being used or being depended on and it disturbs her.

i do my best in balancing marc so i can just show how. WELL OFF he would be if he wasn’t being taken advantage of 24/7. he IS that kid you would have a nice chat with in the library and then he would go home and get absolutely DRAINED from his abusers. and you would never know because HE IS THE ULTIMATE MASKER (and the ultimate fake idgafer). his mask slipping is literally a danger to him because of how easy to read he is once it comes off. if he acted like himself for a MINUTE you would probably be able to get insight on like EVERYTHING. he’s mentally trained himself into hiding it. if he hides it everyone else can and then it just WONT EXIST because everyone is happy and no one is complaining so everything is FINE and they’re not being hurt or abused AT ALL CALM DOWN. he gets along with the adults by submitting and doing exactly what they want and giving them what they want and acting how they want so he can have PRIVILEGE. this is how he metaphorically got custody of rebecca because he is their BEST BET for converting her. an innocent kid who just wants to be her friend, slowly and subtly shaping her into what they need. he yearns for praise from his abusers so he can feel validated and have a false sense of hope and love and affection that he IS doing everything right and he IS benefitting his friends and he IS helping rebecca. because they said so. and they’re ever so caring towards him.

the episode (or bundle of episodes) is stored into a disc (it was literally the coolest thing when you popped out the disc bro i loved that shit) which goes in the dvd cover. it’s important not to scratch or break the disc. the disc can be put into a tray either separate or connected to a tv. the disc is pulled into the box and once the tv is turned on, you can watch the episode, controlling play pause or stop with the remote

fic time. this was meant to be the “rebecca centred comic” but as usual i feel like shit thanks to You People (not YOU people i fucking love yall just You People™️ iykyk) so FUCK YOU FIC TIME. this is part of canon RBH lore and actually i DONT know how to draw One Specific Person Here so it’s better this way. please analyse ts to hell and back please that’s all i ask from yall please please pl

(implied SH/implied trauma)

marc thinks he is loved (he is yet he isn’t - not in the way he thinks) but all he’s ever wanted is a FRIEND

becca thinks she has friends (she does yet she doesn’t - not in the way she thinks) but all she’s ever wanted is to be LOVED

and when i say that i mean marc focuses on the “love” given to him by H*meln possibly more than his actual friends that have no CHOICE but to get along with him. there ARE people who love him (to an extent) but he strives way more for the people who never loved him and use it as an excuse

becca thinks people only stay her friends/tolerate her because she’s pitiful and she’s just something for them to be nice to. she’s only good for “love practice”. she IS loved but she never lets it sink in that she is because she’s only setting herself up for disappointment

I was looking at your references to RBH for the magma and I actually did realize a little detail you added & I wanted to point it cause I thought it was really clever. So the little h*meln (idk if you actually need me to censor that or not lol) logo patch on Rebecca has its tail upside down. Or- the tail is facing downwards. Whilst Marcus' is upright & completely normal, as the logo should look.

something something Rebecca feeling out of place or scared as the rat's downwards tail indicates fear or discomfort. Whilst Marcus' is upright in a more excited/positive motion as he feels the need to be ideal for ha mlem and their atrocious visions and whatnot

Just thought that was rlly clever and I'd actually like to hear what you have to say on the matter like if there's a deeper meaning to it or if it just looks cool lol, also I just love ur designs in general rbh!marcus is rlly fun to draw ♡

HI. HELLO. HEY. SO

THAT WAS NOT MY INTENTION. AT ALL. THAT WAS ACCIDENTAL. WHAT THE FUCK. OH MY FING GOD

i. like. okay. so. there was absolutely no intention behind that i just literally accidentally draw the tail downwards sometimes. like either i forget or im going trad or theres not enough space to have it upward. i did not intend that at all but FUCK YOU IM STEALING THAT SHIT. THANKS FOR THE SYMBOLISM

like no yeah because the current point im getting across (at least after rebecca is done “settling in”) is that she never just full on trusts them. she just accepts the situation like okay this is happening now. she doesn’t expect anything to happen the way it does because she doesn’t KNOW them. she doesn’t know how they are she is literally just Being Here. the only reason she’s even scared or nervous is because of her constant issues with abandonment and the whole missing dad thing is a LOT on her. and it’s going to CONTINUE to be a lot on her because that’s her fucking DAD

and with marcus you know the fucking deal he wants to be a good boy perfect little goody two shoes little SHIT. he wants to please everyone and everything and do what’s expected of him ALL THE TIME. it actually gives him euphoria in a fucked up way when he’s “praised” for like being good or whatever. he kind of leeches off of their “affection” and shit. he kinda depends on it quite a lot anyway. also there’s the whole masking smile thing so. and the whole role model/parentification thing. yeahhh. eh you know the deal there’s a lot of shit that could symbolise

btw idk how you’ll feel about this but those designs are painfully outdated. as i said im going back and forth with this and that includes the designs. not that theres anything wrong with the ref designs ive just added a lot now and i wont be able to make new refs for ages. for example the H*meln logo probably wont be on their clothes anymore. its somewhere else

it’s legit his birthday and i forgot so no time for a cool art piece. hopefully i can cook something up for rebecca in april

i was holding off on rbhposting so the first art of the year can be a good one but this is a birthday doodle so it doesn’t count. right now I’ve just been writing and rewriting him a lot and testing out his personality and stuff through rp. it’s been good. tho i might not be able to say the same for him

fun fact he and rebecca gave each other little nicknames. so he’s marc and she’s becca. because silly and everythinggg. btw rbh is literally if i slapped every single headcanon onto the cast because it’s really just an outlet for what i think they would be like really

btw btw his birthday is feburary 20 and beccas birthday is april 25. for ref :)