#angsty fic

As the moving boxes were stacked together, as the letterbox was stamped with Smith/Celebrini, as the front door had a mix of Bauer and CCM boxes, even the scattered occurrence had become unbearable. Because he got everything all the time — a sleepy exhale on the crook of his neck, a hand along the length of his spine absentminded on its caress, a smile just for him, a cup of coffee before he could ask, his clothes folded before he could remember, little things crossed of the list he didn’t know to care for — but, the one he was forbidden to, seemed to be the one Will yearned for the most.

Cicatrization (its part of a bigger series: Eight Days a Week)

MINOR SPOILERS OK!!!!

Full disclosure, Im already done reading this fic (and its main series) so Im already going to have forgotten details aaand it doesn’t help that I didn’t pay attention for its first four chapters BUUUUUUT

Boy did I lock in after, the way this fic has a choke hold on me is insane. It is my second Tomarry fic ive read after “how large the teeth” by MaidenMotherCrone, so its safe to say that I might have a theme I love for my tomarry fics.

Everything from the characters to the plot to the world building to the politics, to even the author’s citations at the end of most chapters were all so good. Especially the character studies tbh, I am obsessed with Voldemorts growth in this fic and how OP appropriately tags him with “didactic! Voldemort”. Also I plan on re-reading this in 2ish years and Ill def do an update to this review then!

Im gonna break this review down into a few broad parts so I can gush appropriately;

Politics:

This is very politic heavy as it explores not only the dynamic between what a relationships between the once Dark Lord and the Chosen One could look like, but also because the fic also looks into the scenario where the statute of secrecy is dissolved. With this being one of the first biggest problems our characters have to tackle, given how complicated it gets when you also throw in the Wizengamot, the Ministry, the Aurors, the Death Eaters, the previous generation as a whole, etc in mind, it is quite engaging seeing how everyone has a role to play. Sofia does a great job personifying each of the groups and giving them characters (canon and OC alike) to really make them seem realistic with their own motivations and grievances, all with Voldemort at the center of it and Harry being placed in front of him. Once Cicatrization starts, it feels like months’ worth of devastations and developments alike take place while really it’s just been a few weeks at best.

With the statute gone, there also is the introductions of Muggle Britain to their hidden wixen community. The induction of new departments that have to do with wixen-muggle relations, a wizard weapon development department, and the new agreements having to do with the wixen society contributing to national security to some capacity were hard to keep up with how many moving parts were there in the story (but also in part because I started paying attention too late).

With this first reading I did, I kept Harrys POV in mind naturally, but given how many chess pieces are on the board, the flow of information between pieces is complicated and how some pieces know more than the others. So when I re-read it, I plan on trying to keep track of that as I do believe it adds another intriguing layer to the story as then I wouldn’t just be rooting for Harry, but also probably a lot more frustrated with how some arcs play out considering the plot.

With the introduction of the Big Bads too, I couldn’t keep up at some point when it came to them zoomed out. But that can also be explained away by how I was reading it in a very busy time of the semester unfortunately ;-;. However, they were so well done and fleshed out, the doc that the author also links does go over them adequately enough to understand what’s going on and not be entirely lost.

The Characters ++

;-;

The characters……all of them. The main cast, the troublemakers, the support, the bad guys, the random OCs (I think-) they were all written so well. The fic felt like such a good character study (in a sense) for harry but moreso for Voldemort. For obvious reasons, their relationship is quiet questionable so the start of the fic had me just reading and observing before I decided to make a judgment on their relationship and I think that helped a lot in the reading experience. After these two, Luna was my next favorite but that’s because I am also biased towards characters like her. She does eventually become important for a bit due to her role in journalism and her willingness to do her due diligence with regards to Voldemort and her job (Looooooove that for her). If you like fics too where the aftermath of the breakup between Harry & Ginny is amicable too, then you'll like this fic. (I will speak more on this section in the re-read I think)

There's also some plot arc that have to do with either indigenous magic communities elsewhere or studying about them that I loved seeing how the author integrated.

With regards to magic......i think ill skip speaking on it because I might just regurgitate stuff we know from the cheat sheet doc the author links. To be quick, the authors usage of runes was central to the plot and it was the first fic Id read that approached runes, wards and the horcruxes in such a manner!

The Authors Mind

I remember thinking as I read the fic that I would love to be the authors friend solely so I could have an irl view of the authors thinking too, but as time went and I kept reading, this fic felt really like not only a window into harrys soul and voldemorts too (via Harrys musings and observations), but also as a window into the authors soul too. There were so many moments where the writing was so beautiful that I would have to set my phone down and breathe for a bit. The author’s notes at the end of most chapters would include citations and brief explanations into allusions that were used in chapters and you could tell the author clearly is well read in their topics of interest and skilled at being able to communicate those ideas too. The additions of mentioning where plot choices or character choices were inspired from were the cherry on top and like great for my ever increasing TBR. And to address the last thing but also one of the best parts of the fic is the smut (hehe). I love how the smut wasn’t used only for sexual gratification but also as a way for our main two to process their trauma or at least acknowledge it and keep going. The soul bond they share was also a nice way for them to explore being intimate in ways normal magic or even normal relationships can’t allow, but also opened new avenues for them and their souls to be experienced.

Everything I discussed so far were all keeping the fic experience in mind, however on a more personal note, this fic is a masterpiece in depicting just how pervasive trauma can be in all aspects of your life. That maybe just solving the “main point” or the “root” of the issue isn’t enough to heal and that when trauma has the chance to fester, how it can get its fingers in many aspects of one’s life. How the trauma Harry has gone through (and will go through) has informed the choices he makes in the future with regards to the sequel series, how the same happens with Voldemort and how in a sense they both grow into who they are in very unexpected ways. How they do also become very selfless yet selfish too, but it’s both perceived in different ways and not made obnoxiously so. The point of how the depiction of trauma being pervasive really was so important to me because it’s not often I am able to read books/mangas/manhwas/webnovels/fanfics in general that can do both; depict it well while being written in the genres I like.

To finish up;

This author does link their tumblr in their fics but I believe the links unused now? So that sucks, id loved to have tagged them. This fic deserves more attention. Ive read a lot of drarry, dramione and crack fics in general and I feel like this fic is underappreciated and deserves being deliberated as like a classic for this ship. However for that last part, Im pretty sure im in the minority for it as I believe timetravel fics are more popular for this ship.

I think @vestiges-of-light is the author?

ive been reading shameless (gallavich, specifically) fics for a while now but i just read my first heated rivalry fic and OH MY GOD. it was absolutely amazing.

its called “It's all Canadian Vodka's fault” by FriPie, and its summary is: ilya is reported dead by gossiping magazines and headlines, shane is absolutely devastated and its heartbreaking. ilya is not actually dead, and NEEDS to get home. its awesome

it genuinely had me gasping and reacting at every word and i just want to give it some more appreciation because omg

i was actually distraught and relieved right along with shane, i love fics that give introspection like this one does, it even gives a good sized epilogue at the end!! i love that!!!!

okay one lil quote that is a piece of art on its own, “A realisation had hit Ilya like a tonne of bricks. The reason why he wasn't able to imagine life without Shane became very apparent. It wasn't his brain in self preservation mode, it was his brain telling him you can't imagine because you'd just follow where he went.” IM SOBBING STOP.

you can read it here! https://archiveofourown.org/works/78583551/chapters/206040881#workskin

Chapter Two: Rules

Vex is in dire straits.

--- 

Welcome back to the suffering. 

Don’t die don’t die don’t die.

You feel like you’re dying. Your whole body is asleep but it feels like it’s on fire and it doesn’t feel like you’re breathing even though you are and you’re trying to look around but all you see is red fuzz and you’re laying here wondering if you could actually die this time.

You’ve felt this way for as long as you can remember but right now it’s the worst. Really, it’s the worst every time but it sure is the worst right now. You don’t want to die. Well, not right now anyway, you haven’t had breakfast yet. That would suck. Or maybe you’re supposed to die? You don’t know, but you can’t die yet. Wooly’s still here. Wooly would miss you. Your friends would miss you. The kitties and birdies would miss you. You can’t die. Don’t die.

Don’t die don’t die don’t die don’t die don’t die “Amanda?” don’t die don’t die don’t die don’t die don’t die “Amanda.” don’t die don’t die don’t die don’t die don’t die “Amanda!” don’t die don’t die don’t die don’t die don’t d-

“AMANDA!”

“Wooly, I’m dying.”

“…No you’re not.”

“I’m dying, Wooly.”

“It’s fine. You’re fine.”

“I don’t want to die.”

“Amanda, it’s okay. You’re not dying.”

“I can’t die. Don’t let me die, Wooly.”

“AMANDA.”

Something grabs you. It’s Wooly. Oh, Wooly is here. He’s probably looking at you. He probably thinks you’re being weird right now. You’re probably overreacting again. You don’t know, you still can’t see him. You can see him, but it doesn’t feel like him. It doesn’t feel like anything.

“Amanda… are you okay?”

You don’t answer him. He knows the answer.

“You’re doing it again… please talk to me…”

“…It hurts…” Everything’s been hurting all the time lately, it’s just been harder for you to notice. But right now you can definitely confirm that it hurts and you’re probably going to die.

Wooly holds you by your shoulders and leans into your face. “Amanda, it’s fine… y-you’re not gonna die, o-okay? No one’s dying. You’re fine. It’s gonna be okay.”

“…It doesn’t feel that way.” Your eyes start to sting and you start tearing up for probably the millionth time. Here we go again. This is so embarrassing.

“Oh, Amanda… here, just- just come here.” Wooly hugs you. Well, not exactly, he just kind of scoops you up and holds you. You don’t feel like hugging him back. That is until your entire face heats up and you feel like you’re gonna pass out so you hug him anyway.

That’s when it starts pouring out. You start crying and screaming into his wool, not caring if you dirty it with your tears and snot. You know he doesn’t mind. He’s probably dirty anyway. His wool feels like clouds or marshmallows or something, who cares, it’s fluffy. You like the fluffy. It’s also a little warm, like his hands holding onto your back the same way you’re clutching onto his. The way he holds you close to him like this always helps you let it out. It’s nice when you hug like this every now and then. This is so embarrassing.

“You don’t have to feel like this, you know… If you’d just tell me what’s-”

“I DID. I DID TELL YOU. I- I’m telling you… Everything just feels so wrong all the time and it SUCKS and I hate it… I hate this… It’s not fair…”

Wooly stays quiet, but you can feel him hugging you closer.

“Wooly…”

“Yeah…?”

You talk to him in between sniffles. “Why does this k- keep happening…? It’s not fair… I don’t wanna feel like this, I- I just wanna be happy… with you… why can’t I stop it…?”

“I… I don’t know… I’m sorry…”

“N- no, I’m sorry… I’m crying for no reason, I don’t even know why I’m sad, it’s stupid…”

“It’s not stupid, you’re just.. y- you’re just having a bad day.”

“What if it doesn’t stop…? What if it just keeps hurting forever? What if I-”

“Amanda, don’t say that. Please…”

He lifts your face up and wipes some of your tears. It’s pretty useless since your entire face is dripping with them at this point, but it’s nice that he’s trying.

“I’ll never let anything bad happen to you.”

“Y- You promise…?”

“It’ll get better… I promise.”

“O-okay…”

“You trust me, don’t you…?”

“Yeah…”

“Then come on!”

He lifts you off the bed. It still feels a little weird to stand, but it’s better than sitting in your bed and slowly rotting, you guess.

“Should probably see what’s cooking. Can’t have a feelings sesh on an empty stomach, can we? Let’s go downstairs.”

“Wh- but I haven’t even-”

“Oh, who cares? After all, an apple a day keeps the… k- keeps… uhh…”

Wooly stops walking for a second and you swear you see his ears drop lower.

“Uhhh… I forgot. LET’S GO!”

You head downstairs, but Wooly doesn’t look a whole lot in your direction. He’s probably sad because you were sad. Stupid.

“Wooly…”

“Mm?”

“I- If you’re feeling bad, I can… Y- You can talk to m-”

“AH, don’t worry about me, heh, I’m not- I- I’m fine. …B- but thanks. As long as you’re happy, r- right? Heh.”

As long as he says so…

You make it to the kitchen.

“HAH! Won’t you look at that.”

He nudges your arm and heads to the fridge.

Apple pie. Your favourite.

You’re lucky to have him.

smiling physically as I’m editing this. this is my favourite fic EVERRR OH MY GOD. first perspective fic was fun to do. this was literally the FUNNEST FIC TO DO HOLY SHIT YAY.

i think it’s honestly better with less setting i just really wanted a fic dedicated to their relationship in the past. this is obviously amanda having a bad day back when she didn’t remember anything and wooly consoling her but also trying to make her forget about it in his sickly sweet way yk. but i think it’s specifically more like the physical pain from her body being experimented on and her emotions getting to her but she doesn’t know where it’s all coming from because she doesn’t have her memories back yet. this is like the worst of it before it slowly starts coming back to her. it’s hard to tell rn if wooly is fully aware of what’s going on or not but i think it would be better for the narrative if he was just as clueless as her, his only instruction being “keep her in check” so he tries to keep her in check while also making her feel better, which is hard because she’s in literal pain.

i also made a point to highlight how what amandas feeling is hurting wooly too, since all her talk about everything being bad all the time only makes him think about what he’s gone through and he’s purposely trying to forget that. notice how he pauses at the word doctor AY AYYY. her feeling bad doesn’t help him feel better, so he’s trying to cheer her up as well as himself so they both don’t have to worry about it. but amanda notices his doubt a little bit and tries to reach out to him as a friend but he pushes her away because his feelings don’t matter, he doesn’t matter, that’s not his job. his job is to be her best friend so that’s all he’s gonna put effort into. don’t worry about him.

what’s that GASPPP? THE PROMISE AMANDA MENTIONED IN THE FIRST FIC GASPPP? PARALELLS EEEHEHEEE. here’s the thing he genuinely meant it tho. i mean he MEANT it he just did a shitty job at keeping it. he’s trying tho give him some respect now. GOD it’s so sad it’s just. they want to care for each other so much but they CANT cuz wooly has bad judgement and amanda can’t trust him GOD. FUCKIN ELL. END ME

HEY GUESS WHO'S BACK AFTER A MONTH OF RADIO SILENCE THAT WILL RESUME INSTANTLY AFTERWARDS!? It's me. Teehee! :3c

Anyhow! I had the honor of joining the ISAT 2025 Artbang as both an artist and an author, and while you'll have to wait a bit longer for the efforts as the latter, here's my illustration for Just A Little While Longer by Sarah_Bee.