âNo, no.â She fought against the reassurance with a stubborn shake of her head. âYou donâtâ you donât know that, Stella.â Because no matter how much Cat wanted to believe she was right, at her core she was a realist. She had to admit to herself that things were so much worse now than theyâd ever been.Â
And Stella? She didnât know the whole truth of it.Â
Cat never intended to out Dom or what he said, only to air her own side of the fucked up situation, but in a quiet, broken voice she muttered, âHe said Celeste does a better job at taking care of him and Sebastian.â Actually, heâd asked if she was threatened that the other woman did, but wasnât it pretty much the same thing? âThatâs all but admitting that he wishes he was with her instead. That he wishes she was his wife because Iâm not good enough to be with him.â
Maybe it was her own paranoia and insecurities coming into play, but she was sure thatâs exactly what he meant.
She wouldnât break down about it - she would not - but she still couldnât keep the quiver from her lip. âEven if he loves me he wants someone like her, and I canâtâ Iâll never be that, Stel. I wouldnât even know how if I tried.â Her ambition, her drive, her goals and her dreams⌠they were what made Cat⌠Cat. Shutting it off wasnât possible. Which meant for the first time in perhaps her entire life she had no idea what the fuck to do. She was operating blind, without the smallest semblance of a plan.
The vodka returned to her lips, then she resumed pacing. âDo I get a lawyer? I mean, if heâs going to leave me Iâll need a lawyer, right?â Except she didnât want a lawyer, and she didnât want a divorce, she wanted to wake up and have things miraculously be alright. âAnd what about Seb? I meanâ for fuckâs sake, Stel. He wasnât supposed to grow up in the same broken family we did. We werenât supposed to be this.â
It was an automatic instinct, the way her eyes narrowed and her hands, rubbing Catâs shoulders, clenched a little bit tighter at her acknowledgement of Domâs words. She loved them both, and would continue to do so, but jesus fucking christ, that was a low blow. And the worst one Dom could throw in her face - Catâs biggest insecurity, used to cut her down when they were fighting.Â
She could see why Cat was so sure their marriage was over. She had to admit, at least on the inside, that it wouldnât surprise her if it did after that.Â
But she wasnât about to say that to her best friend - she didnât need realism right now, she needed comfort, safety, and while Stella would certainly have words with Dom at some point, this was about Cat for the moment.Â
âHe wants you.â She said sternly, her voice lacking a true edge because ultimately, she just wanted Cat to be happy. âHe was pissed, he was hurt, he lashed out. Iâm not saying itâs right - itâs, like, the worst thing he could have said to you. And you hit him with probably the worst thing you could have said right back. Neither of you come out of this innocent. But Cat,â she placed two fingers under her friends chin, steadying her gaze to stare her in the eyes, âdo you love him?âÂ
She didnât have to wait for the certainties, because it was obvious she did. If she didnât, would Cat have shown up in the middle of the night, knowing Stella had a toddler and an infant sleeping upstairs? Would she be pouring herself into a bottle of vodka, on the verge of tears, fighting them back if she didnât?Â
âYou fight for him, Catalina, but you make sure he remembers that he fell in love with you because of you. He knew you were ambitious, he knew your job would be tough. I canât imagine how difficult it is for you two to be apart like that. But he chose you, he gave you his ring and his life and his son - not Celeste. And now maybe itâs time you choose him the same way - donât let it go, donât sweep it under the rug, but fight for him. Donât you dare let him go without a fight, babe.âÂ