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i promise you that white man is not underrated

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the passion of the kiss before the i love you vs the relief of being loved in the kiss after
nothingggg is more ilya than the tampa hotel room sequence where shane comes out, ilya acts like a dick while keeping himself physically as far from shane as possible, shane gets his feelings hurt and starts looking a little chin-wobbly, and ilya audibly GROANS and flings himself across the room to sit next to him on the bed. but he’s still not looking at shane or touching him because ilya is NOT here to comfort him or anything ok he just randomly and totally unrelatedly got tired of standing up at the exact moment that shane’s big brown eyes started getting all wet and shiny with tears and the nearest place to sit down happened to be on the bed next to shane. do NOT read anything into this as none of this means ANYTHING (in under two minutes he will be crying in shane’s arms btw)
no evidence to back this up but shane strikes me as the type of guy who holds a comical amount of stuff in one hand. very give me that ilya. big hands. he is The Holder.
there's a famous mid-action candid of them walking and shane’s unintentionally mean-mugging while in one hand holding his phone, ilya's phone, some sort of paper that's been folded up a million times - there's chapstick clutched between his pointer and middle fingers, a water bottle hanging by the ring from his pinky, hoodie in the crook of his elbow, hockey bag slung over his shoulder. meanwhile his other side is completely free. (eagled eyed viewers will understand that this is the hand he opens doors for ilya with)
i know we probably all know this but to be clear ilya is walking through the door shane is holding open for him carrying absolutely nothing and talking dramatically with his hands in an aggressively slavic manner while shane also carries his bags, his hopes, his dreams, and his entire life
eating disorders and abortions are two things that are like, spoken about in most mainstream discourse as though they are pretty rare and aberrant, but then when you’re actually friends with a lot of women you come to find out that they are extremely extremely common and kind of banal & mundane

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ilya should get injured and have to be on rest and this means no more athletic sex and they still tried to do it with shane on top but that hurts too and they’ve had a long week and they’re both tired so shane says “please baby let me take care of you” so he sits behind ilya and just starts jerking him off, nothing too fancy, nice and slow. meanwhile ilya is begging shane cause he’s going sooooo fucking slow and it’s mind meltingly good and his hips keep jumping up in these little aborted thrust so shane has to put his thigh over ilya’s legs to remind him to be still and ilya’s still begging shane please please wanna fuck you need your hole and shane isn’t going to cave on that either so he puts his big fucking hand over ilya’s mouth which is when ilya realizes how huge his hands are and he’s got his whole lower face trapped in this fucking mitt to keep him quiet and if it’s maybe cutting off a little of his air then that’s okay too cause suddenly things are hazy and he feels so fucking good and he cums so long and so hard and then he gets to stay there in shane’s embrace while his brain reboots cause what the fuck was all that
little brother energy
CONNOR STORRIE as LANCE KINGSTON CRIMINAL MINDS EVOLUTION
More than "here in the Southern Hemisphere we have inverted seasons :)" thing, which is TECHNICALLY true, I would go a step further and encourage to think about that "much of the world does not exactly has a spring-summer-fall-winter season sequence as they show in cartoons"
I will scream about this to anyone who listens forever. AUSTRALIA DOES NOT HAVE "ENGLISH SEASONS BUT BACKWARDS" and the insistence that it does creates a massive layer of alienation from the natural world.
I never really realised how much difference it makes until I went to England and realised that here the change of seasons is an obvious, visible, physical change in the world. Like, everything REALLY IS orange and foggy in autumn! In spring there are flowers EVERYWHERE, so much more than any other season, and the trees really do have all blossom and no leaves. Even if it doesn't snow, in winter there's frost all the time and the trees are bare and the sky is visibly greyer all the time. You don't need to be told "this date is the first day of spring", you can SEE IT (although this is getting way messier and less precise due to climate change).
By contrast, most places in Australia the seasons we're taught feel like arbitrary categories - and is it any surprise considering they're colonial constructs? Orange-leaved autumn and blossom-covered spring is a cartoon stereotype with no relevance on a continent where ALL NATIVE TREES ARE EVERGREEN!! Snowy winters are a joke in the desert, and even sunny summers don't ring particularly true considering that much of the country is in the tropics, where summer means monsoons - not that I've ever seen the concept that WE HAVE A MONSOON SEASON taught at an Australian school.
Most Indigenous nations around Australia had six or more seasons, revolving around wet and dry times as much as hot and cold, and marked by the appearances of certain native animals and flowers. Schools need to start teaching the real seasons, and explaining that climate cycles are too complex to generalise globally, or else we will keep raising generations who view the natural world as hostile and unpredictable and climate predictions as generally irrelevent and frequently wrong - and I'm sure I don't need to spell out why that's a problem in the era of climate crisis.
i want to add that 40% of the world's population lives in the tropics, and the 4 season model just doesn't make much sense for a lot of places in there. usually it's just the wet season/monsoon season and the dry season. it's often hot year round.
the 4 season model as you and i know it is a european invention, though 4 season models aren't unique to europe! most notably china has the same type of season subdivision.
in general the way humans define seasons is largely subjective and varies across cultures. the one you were taught is not at all universal!
they don't really use pet names when they're around other people but their teammates learn very quickly that there is ilya (positive) and ilya (negative) and rozanov (fuck yeah that was fucking gorgeous) and rozanov (if you do not shut the fuck up immediately i swear to fucking good) and shane (adoring) and shane (sad) and hollander (that's how you fucking do it!) and hollander (sit your fucking ass down or we will have a problem) and these distinctions are way more important to keep track of than the five times a month hollander calls cap "baby" and cap's face goes all sappy

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please LISTEN TO ME
please LISTEN TO ME
help I’m having ideas beyond my available free time
help I'm having ideas beyond my available energy levels
shane was really like "part of the sport we all get our bell rung sometime right" like bitch you got straight up liberty bell-ed you got your shit CRACKED this wasn't a ring-a-ding-ding welcome in the new year resolutions we're all getting white girl wasted nah this was clocked, rocked, stirred and shaken.
meanwhile ilya was having flashbacks to 90s american dramas where sally field is shaking, crying and throwing up cause her diabetes daughter died he was an inch close to screaming WHERE ARE THE DRUGS and there shane is all cute, and soft like a drugged up kitten on xanies purring "ilya~~ come to my cottage~~ watch me do yoga~~" giggling and twirling his freckles in the name of the father the son and the holy spirit of whoredom. the walls of berlin would drop their bricks for shane hollander asking for a bang holiday like that god damn, hallelujah I know ilya was on his knees in prayer that night
idk i would personally rather give up access to certain products seasonally or locally than have people enslaved to give me the ability to have any product any place any time. i think i can go without tomatoes in january.
i truly do think that most people if confronted with it and pressed on it would agree. but it's comfortable to gain privileges from someone else's suffering, especially if you don't have to see that suffering directly.

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If you don’t understand why Ilya Kissmaster Supreme Rozanov would immediately slip Shane the tongue while sobbing in the Tampa hotel room well you don’t know that guy at all
as a society i do not think we have done enough to appreciate this ilya look