bad social skills :')

$50 maybe

a dropped money clip from some clumsy, unobservant capitalist shithead with in excess of $5000 in it

a thrown silver money clip with $50 in it and an empty aladdin wallet

i’ve been comprimised 

i laughed for about 349583492547252 years

I’ve waited 2 years for this post to hit my dash again. Totes worth it

Not to be dramatic but John Mulaney saying “every time I walk down the street, I need everyone, all the time, to like me so much–its exhausting” is quite literally my biography and I’m shocked he knows so much about me

Look at these curvy letters! Much curvier than most letters, wouldn’t you say? You look, mortal, if ye be. You look, and then you type what you think you see! Is it an “E?” Or is it a “3?” That’s up to ye!

not killing myself is a personal achievement but you cant really brag about that at dinner parties

The Incredibles 2 can just be 2 hours of the Parr family chasing their flaming-laser-shooting-shape-shifting-lighting-conjuring baby around the house trying to change his diaper and I still would still pay to see it 15 times

He committed to how pissed off he was

I love how petty this is

I hope he brought the video to traffic court to contest the ticket lol

I love the poetry that this gifset ends with him running into a police car.

This is a tactic called Uncivil Obedience: where you follow the law so stringently that it exposes the injustice the law causes.

One of the most realistic things about Dance Academy is the fact that the characters are seen wearing the same clothes more than once and that’s the realest form of TV I’ve ever encountered.

I am embarrassed by how hard this made me laugh.

…..does this mean cat people hurl cats at the ground?

you just kind of… open ur arms and they sort themselves out. if you try and place them down they get mad and wiggle and make everything worse

i mean yeah the broadway fandom can get cringy sometimes but at least it’s not anime