bearo

one thing about me is i can excuse basically any crime if you serve enough cunt. murder, piracy, arson, cannibalism, theft, all of that is ok for me if you’re real sexy about it. i have a purely vibes-based morality system

your only job on this earth is to be so intrinsically yourself that the right people gravitate toward you and the wrong people move out of your way

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

at some point in your life you will be adding vanilla extract to some manner of sweet baking and you will think “that is not enough vanilla.” this is the devil speaking. seriously, I am the devil baker, I am telling you now, add more vanilla, so much more vanilla, that recipe is full of shit and you should no more obey a sweet recipe’s vanilla content than you should a savory recipe’s garlic content.

we need to slow down a little I'm so serious. all these quick short videos on tiktok, ig reels, and youtube, artists releasing quick little songs for the trend, tv shows releasing episodes at once, people using chat gpt and google ai overview because they get answers quickly but no validation done for the source, we need to sloww downn i really do not think our brains should be running this fast

why is everyone talking about this website dying again for tje 15th time

they;re selling us to one direction??

“you’re so sensitive” i was born with a poet’s soul. bitch

i was crazy back then (8 minutes ago)

[no beers in] do you think im ever going to belong somewhere

in an astounding coincidence, the right level of technology happens to be the exact one I was surrounded with growing up

tumblr isn’t considered a social media because everyone on here is just talking to themselves

yeah i agree

dawg i literally dont want the world to see me cuz i dont honestly think they'd understand

I’m a lover by nature except for when I’m a wretched hater cunt bitch which I also am by nature

kids these days don't know what it felt like to be bisexual and wear a stupid as fuck hawaiian shirt in 2017

i would totally watch entire episodes of this