Hey dude, sorry, you must get a billions asks like these, but Iβm 21 and very much lost, and I donβt know what the hell im doing with my life and how I can stop being so static. Is it fucking over for me man??
Absolutely not over! No one has their shit figured out in their 20s, and you may very well end up being a dozen different people before you are 30. (I myself had 2 major breakdowns during those years. I also made the decision to transition, too, which was one of the best things I could have done for myself.)
Sounds like you either haven't found something that captures your interest hobby or work-wise, or there is something you want to do, but inertia or something else is in the way.
I had a shitty job in my 20s, but work isn't something I truly regret from those years. If I had to do it all over again, I'd:
Make being active a regular part of my life -- being in nature, jogging, even some kind of sport
Get off the computer when it felt like a chore. A lot of my video games and web browsing were just time sinks and increasingly felt like some kind of weird job.
Experiment more with hobbies and not be afraid of being bad at something for a while. I wish I picked up sewing earlier, or another instrument, or spent more time drawing.
Overall, just enjoy what I *did* have, even with my limited income. I had local parks, books to read, free events to go to, board games to play with friends, and so many crafts to try.
Of course, I'd also transition earlier, ha ha. But that is also part of a bigger theme of prioritizing my happiness, not being afraid of being messy or weird, and doing small things I had access to in order to get to know myself better, and perhaps build some positive habits.
Teens and 20s kind of suck. You're gaining agency, but don't have the resources yet to jump ahead in life. That's going to take time, and one of the best things you can do right now is get out of your comfort zone and see where your curiosity takes you.
So, maybe see what's going on locally on your next free day. Go to a pride festival, or a farmer's market, an art show, a library sale, a community walk, etc. Have a little adventure of some sort to wake your brain and mood up.
Curiosity is one of the most important qualities in happy and successful people, but you gotta feed it all the time. All the other stuff will come if you're curious, persistent, and not afraid of the occasional fuckup.
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