wearing my bleeding heart on my sleeve @bambalancer - Tumblr Blog

the median voter

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thesixthstar

they should invent a secret second weekend so that you can see friends and do fun things while still having enough time to do errands and sleep in without dying of exhaustion all the time

thatdykepunkslut

cuunos

being a kid and hearing adults say stuff like "woah 2011 was 4 years ago haha" didn't really convey the fucking horror of a youtube video crossing my recommended labelled "9 years ago" and it's from 2017. that's not true. 9 years ago is 2010 or something. don't lie.

I Saw The Money Grow

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ode-on-a-grecian-butt

allegedly-human

I will. I WILL!!

its-funnytwittertweets

dragonpyre

naamahdarling

ID: a small fluffy gray cat of nebulously criminal aspect writhes in satisfaction upon a concrete sidewalk of identical color. A human pets her. She emits several raspy sounds of evident pleasure. "Fancy?" says the human. Fancy gives a really BIG friendly screech, mouth wide open, then gets up and wanders offscreen as the human laughs.

hometoursandotherstuff

sistersorrow

For anyone wondering: it's called Hyalinobatrachium dianae, and Kermit Frog is one of its actual recognised names (alongside Diane's bare-hearted glass frog)

This however isn't a recent discovery as it was first found back in 2015

dozydawn

blue topaz

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finnglas

when i was a tiny baby queer (aka a 24-year-old), i went to my first pride festival probably three months after i kicked ex-gay therapy to the curb and came out to my parents. being the people they are, my parents came with me. they weren’t really sure about this whole gay thing, but they loved me and wanted me to be safe and happy and wanted to be involved in what was important to me, so they came along. (i also think my mother still might have thought i might get drugged or murdered or beaten by a protester of which there were plenty.)

anyway i wanted a memento of my first pride, you know, and this one vendor was selling keyrings, and i liked it, so i bought one. do you remember those italian charm bracelets that were all the rage like 10-15 years ago? it was a keychain like that, and it had a rainbow rooster, a rainbow cat, and then just a rainbow, and so I bought it.

i run into my mom a couple of vendors over and she goes oh you bought something? what’d you get? so i showed her, and i was like, “I’m not sure why it’s a rooster and a cat. Seems kind of random. But I liked the rainbows.”

and my mom, who was some form of minister’s wife for most of my childhood and teenagerhood, stares at me like she thinks i’m joking.

“What?” i say.

“…it’s a cock and a pussy, Jules,” she says flatly, and that is the story of how i died at the age of 24 while attending my first pride festival.

finnglas

I love how every June this one gets dug up and passed around again, lmao.

finnglas

oh no is this what we’re doing now

finnglas

…relic…

*crumbles and blows away on the wind*

my-dailydreams

orcboxer

noses will be like we have just closed on a deal to acquire one really long hair

achesspiece

in chess the queens can kill each other which is toxic yuri and the kings can never get within a square of each other which is doomed yaoi

karrakazz

wordcubed

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systlin

In 38 years of life I have learned 1 thing;

If anyone is ever training you to replace them in a position and tells you 'its an easy job I don't do much' what this means is that you are about to spend six months to a year catching up on all the stuff they didn't do and sorting out the stuff they did poorly.

In related news I finally managed to finish un fucking my predecessor's lack of a filing system.

systlin

Apparently this post is wildly Jon from Magnus Archives coded but I regret to inform everyone that there were no weird sketchy paranormal occurences. There were only ten banker boxes full of unsorted training records, incident reports, uniform recipts, daily activity reports, and similar quite ordinary and boring paperwork. There have been zero flesh worms or NotEntities. I did find a stash of paper clips in one box under the papers but that's it.

scratch-meowt

my hottest take

keeper-of-the-flames

Counter point, those machines can make me a peach sprite.

pusheenthenerdcat

guys did you know the tech in that nefangled machine revolutionized preemie healthcare

maimonideznuts

pusheenthenerdcat

yeah the guy who invented them made incredibly precise infusion pumps (as opposed to gravity fed ivs) which not only meant they could give medications to teeny tiny babies safely, it's also used for insulin pumps and portable dialysis machines. the key element is that it's a peristaltic pump so the liquid stays in sterile tubing for safety

(unholy drink cloaca uses it to dispense precise amounts of flavored sugar syrup)

hedgebotherer

Then how the haters loved him,

As they shouted out with glee,

"Unholy Drink Cloaca

You'll go down in history!"

naamahdarling

You DON'T get this on any other site in quite this format.

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