ok⦠fine⦠ last year, like in the fall/winter. i was driving around to every thrift store in my city, like, probably 30 thrift stores, and i would buy every VHS copy of Forrest Gump, Jurassic Park, Sister Act, Men In Black, Star Wars Episode 1, The Matrix, Space Jam, Speed, and Twister i could find⦠i have like 100 copies of each at least, 200 of someā¦whatevsā¦
like i was going through a lot of heartbreak, this girl totally broke my heart, and it was so comforting, driving around the entire city, listening to Apples In Stereo and Guided By Voices, and chillin, buying VHS tapes. It gave me something meaningless and ridiculous to occupy my time with opposed to just being in my room depressed.Ā
But Iām over the girl that broke my heart, its been awhile, and I do have a new girlfriend, and shes amazing and I was likeĀ
āSo I own over 200 copies of Forrest Gump on VHS, I mean I really like you and I can see us going somewhere, and I think its important to be honest, I have an absurd amount of VHS, and thats not going to change. I mean ever. Like Iām going to own these VHS tapes until Iām dead. Ok, fine, if the tapes do bother you, like Iāll get rid of them⦠but like youāll have to explain to my followers why⦠im doing it for you. I know we donāt know each other that well, this is crazy, but like youāre so cool and youāre so great, that i would give up my VHS tapes for you.ā
and she was likeĀ ā90s, relax, having that many VHS tapes is kind of sketch but Iād never tell you to get rid of them.ā.. then one night we were in my room watching Game of Thrones on HBOGo, and we start making out until shes likeĀ ā90s I canāt do anything in here, the VHS tapes sketch me out.ā and I was likeĀ āAre u serious?ā and she was allĀ āDead serious.ā and I was likeĀ āLike 2 girls on tumblr have said theyād want me to fuck them on top of a pile of Forrest Gump VHS tapes, like you should be so turned on.ā and she was allĀ ā90s this is real life not your tumblr ask box, literally no one in the world would want to be fucked on top of a pile of Forrest Gump VHS tapes.ā and I was likeĀ āI donāt want to fuck on top of Forrest Gump tapes anyway, like do you feel this mattress right now, its like a Serta, its so comfortable. This is a premium deluxe mattress.āĀ