~I'm an eternal flame, baby ~

Flowers beginning to bloom Turned into ash as it blew. Hope for life Killed.

Hope. Now fear and darkness. There is no hope. The cave will never live For the dragon refuses to leave.

Now these days go With darkness in control. The visitors it used to attract leave like lightning.

Whoosh, Life that was about to grow, Life that had taken years to develop, All life is gone.

I know I won’t be able to express this. I know you won’t be able to understand this. But from the deepest cove in my heart, I give you my sincerest

Love. I have loved you. Forever and as long as time will last. I know this isn’t goodbye But I can’t help feel this way. I rarely express it. But I love you For you gave me

Memories. Never shall I forget The smiles you gifted me, The songs we sang, The jokes we shares. Forever shall I think Of us hiding behind a door And someone would speak of a funny wolf, Of us sitting on a bench Passing a ball So I would grow stronger And you would grow happiness. In return I must give you

Sorry. Sorry for creating an ocean. Sorry for creating a wall. Sorry for never running to our fortress. Sorry for never creating time as I grew old. I am sorry. I am deeply sorry. Now, I can only watch As you walk on to share your love. And with this I’ll return no worry and

Happiness. I will make sure to strive. I will make sure to live. I will make sure to be happy. I know you don’t want to see be sad, There are days I won’t be able to help it, But I’ll forever think Of your dreams Which I shall grant As I live happily.

Now, I can’t help but to think about how your hand would constantly flee, Running from my heart And all the times i tried to please.

You

You took my love In a way that no one did. But there you were Setting the rook To defeat my reining king.

I couldn’t believe that you Would grab your sword and en garde. Now next thing i know You’re stabbing my heart.

Well, damn this time that I trusted you. No more shall it be. I accept the fact That I’ve got trapped And i can’t be me.

One of these days I’ll learn to overcome past your capture. Return with a flame to torch this pain.

I’ll rise from the ashes To start my name. As a Phoenix i’ll live To defend your heinous face.

In the shadows I’ll lurk. I’ll stike everyone fear. You’ve made a wrong choice So Here’s checkmate.

I bet you regret making me bleed So how about some cacophony to make you scream. The circulatory cries of your coming crimes. The pendulatory pain of your precious play. But all in all I can’t be rude.

It’s like you have a plan, A hit list, Where each death Is a new life You gain.

You treat your puppets like kings With sweet, golden words on the outside, But when you sway them inside It’s hell And they become shells With their souls in locked a casket.

I’d write this in an essay But i don’t know how to say That my soul isn’t pure The way you taught it to pray.

Your dreams of my happiness Have been “poisoned with such an illness” Are your words that can’t help But stab what little is left. After all the theft, There is nothing to call Myself.

I can’t help but want to say goodbye. Choked, tired, lost And done Due to days spent drowning in my thoughts Or days spent suffocating to this boa. And yet, Nothing can, or will be, done about this elephant.

The lion continues to rage As it’s cage gets small and smaller. Angry and hungry, It gives up. A voice tells him to continue fighting. It slashes one last time towards its bars And it’s set free.

Debilitated, disoriented, dispirited. It steps foot onto the outside world. It’s accepted the truth. It can never be the same.

The small fire is alight Because of its escape But it’s meeting death Because if its current state: Depressed. Alone. Still tied down To the Truth.

However, Days are worth a fight Because it can’t help but dream Of the paradise he may find. Even after all the malign He can’t help picture /that day/.

The only way for this journey to end Is for your acceptance of my pain. My bane, My love that i couldn’t help but restrain.

A temple- A pyramid Complex with secrets and Filled with darkness. An archeologist Will spend years Upon years Stacked in years Of discovery and research, With a flame lit torch, The archeologist Reveals symbols and passages that say more.

My body- A dirty mirror Giving me what I know And covering what I don’t. With Windex and a cloth, The mirror gets cleaned To show the uniqueness. It shows the Uneven balance between Inside and outside. The inside is fine, The inside is the final draft. The outside. Worn and torn, The outside has become victim to war.

The temple doesn’t have meaning anymore. Construction crews have to help To support it They put new paint, new walls, new bricks And it’s still the same. The conflict rests Within the fact That it doesn’t represent the inside.

My body: A temple. It should be defining what it is proud off. Outside forces came and destroyed. The old soul wasn’t able to protect. It let the fires rage. It let the bombs be placed. And now it screams.

I have thought So i have become me.

The fires are fought. The bombs have been gone. But the temple howls as it sits in silence. The lone temple. A long fight. And it just isn’t the same.

Every stepping stone. Is a mile stone. One I didn’t hope to reach. One I didn’t believe would be touched. One that I’m proud of marking.

Then, These wounds flow, Everything seems cold And the times are infinitely alone.

The clouds only yell danger, For lighting may strike wherever you step And fire may creep onto the feet.

Some days emit the nature of spring, With a new health acclaimed And a new happiness gained.

Those days are rare. Rare like the blood that seeps from the steak. The blood parallel to the one from her wrists. The same blood Poured when the butcher cuts.

Cuts the emotions. Cuts the line. Cuts any sense of a prosperity from forty-nine.

Like Queen Isabella, You purge, And succeed, To get what you want.

It’s suffocating Hearing yells left and right The knowledge of air Is lost in the burning of Alexandria.

It’s unexplainable How the body is magnetized To a bed, It can’t leave.

Im sorry. Im sorry Im sorry Im so damn sorry.

It’s taken too long for me to find safety And im sorry. Im sorry it isn’t the walls you wanted me to build. Im sorry my happiness Isn’t yours.

Im sorry my silent words Don’t reach your ears. If I scream, Im scared of the storm. You’ve given me glimpses, And im terrified.

Im sorry. Im really. Really. Sorry. You don’t understand how sorry I am. I wish I could paint the way you taught. But all I am is A failure of a student.

Im sorry it will never go right. Im sorry I can’t bring you joy.

It bites and numbs, But the fire is lit. Yet the constant war Verdicts that the mind is lost in an abyss.

You were cold I tried to stay bold Yet nothing can heal what’s sore.

I cant believe The yearning in my soul, The same soul that told me to run The same soul that told me to kill those memories with that poisonous gun.

My friend, A beloved one. A stranger, A ghost. A slap of wind that enlightened And soon The fire that fueled all my hate.

Im glad you’re gone

Months. Years. Contemplation was the only thing I had known, The thing that made me say: “I have the power to kill, i could —” the time came and the options laid in vain.

Goodbye to this test because I knew I’d never rest.

A greater voice had come with the power of love, the power of joy, the power of something I hadn’t been taught.

So

Here I stand, like the statue reminding the people of potential power to overcome I climbed and climbed to the today of tomorrow.

So

Going back, rereading the pages of the past, being told to relive those moments. I’m afraid to write that you don’t understand.

The days of yesterday, they were a cage that I will never name. The ink that was spilled, it is meant to forget. Yes, the letters can still be seen, because I know it still makes me who overcame and overcomes. me who has found a new reason to run me.

Running forward and never back. I’ll jump those hurdles. I’ll win the gold.

But never. please. never     please Don’t put me back.

Removing the freedom of someone who has flown. It’s being stranded at sea, no food or water to be seen. It’s being choked, knowing the person can stop but knowing that there will be no more breaths to breathe. It’s being locked in a room all alone, four walls and a bed slowly, and surely, becoming brain dead.

I’m afraid to write you don’t understand. but this is it

so

please.    please

please