The Catcher in the Whole Wheat

sorry for containing multitudes. As if it's my fault

Yooo this me when I get heartburn lmao

ellen this is the real papa john dead in his coffin pls have some respect :/

Booty shorts that say "vaccinated" on the ass

I just saw the band I Don't Know How but They Found Me and when we were in line some lady yelled at us from her car to ask what we were in line for and a couple people tried to tell her the band name and she got pissed and started yelling "oh really? you're in line for it but you don't know? you don't know what you're in line for???" like fucking who's on first irl

I’m just a 75 year old man who loves a nice pretzel

you must.

any Catholics online ? I got some questions.

Yeah I’m catholic whatsup

how do i reach heaven through violence

every Killers song sounds like the ramblings of that one incoherently drunk girl in the bathroom and i think that’s incredible sexy of them

like, ur so right queen, he DOESN’T look a thing like jesus… (?????)

Oh yea not gonna talk eh? Vinny, pull out da Neutral Milk Hotel album.

god gives his cringest interests to his sexiest soldiers

some of you are a little too pretty to be on tumblr i think you should be luring people to their watery demise instead

Yeah, but that job market's saturated. You know how it is.

as a german kid i Used to wonder why our radio stations like to play the american national anthem so much until a friend explained to me that Country Roads Take Me Home is not in fact you guys’ national hymn…

That song came out like a month ago, how old are you

How are you posting from 1971?

homie thought lil nas did country roads