la morte vivante

Yeah I think he probably lets all his limbs go limp and just gets hauled around by his arms like a ragdoll (I tense up as the audience starts murmuring to each other and shaking their heads) I mean he has sex normally. He can access his own body during sex

the thing you need to understand about carmilla countess karnstein is that she is a loser. she's absolutely drowning in blood bitches but she has to be because she is an immortal vampire noble who gets by on flirting her way into continual couch surfing. she has no job no house no car and no money. she sleeps all the way through the morning. she hears people singing and it pisses her off so bad that she needs her bestiecrush to hold her hand until she calms down. she's violently classist and loves to use the "wait until I tell my rich dad about this" line but, crucially, her rich dad is dead as fuck and has been for all living memory. she's a serial monogamist and she's fucking coasting on pretty privilege.

(nonchalant) (rock hard) i sense that you kill a lot of people

affirmations they will not kill me at work today. it is not in my job description to get killed. if they did kill me at work that would be weird and probably not worth it for them

some of you people are so annoying. i mean me too but good lord

I WAS BORN YESTERDAY. I JUST BLEW IN FROM STUPID TOWN. THIS IS MY FIRST RODEO. PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH ME.

when you’re having a laugh with your dad but then you suddenly remember that he’s going to hell

my beautiful wife, severe thunderstorm warning, is texting me 😌😚😍😍