sunny is a love story

without you without them. found family of All Time. charmacden and the gang as a whole. the thousand billion different forms the gang has taken. it’s always them. mac growing up so neglected and lonely, desperately craving any mimicry of family and love he could find. and here comes this messy smelly kid who’s actually a couple months older than him but looks years younger. cat <3 mac 4eva . spending christmas throwing rocks at trains. it’s us against the world as long as we’ve got eachother we’ll be fine. and then come these rich bratty twins who act like they’re so much better than you but you know you and charlie are the closest thing they’ve ever seen to god. i want to hear your story and be apart of it. the gang unpicking their pasts unpicking what makes them Them. learning what you don’t Have to talk about, how to make life bearable. “a love letter to the mortifying ordeal of being known, written in a pandemic world that violently reminded us how much we need each other”…… that’s them baby!!!

20$. i’m stuck how longs the chevy been on cinderblocks as macden mac gaining/taking back independence and mac driving vs dennis’ sense of control being seen within the range rover. but just. oh this is So mac. it’s a bad idea and i’m all about it. long live project badass. whatever the idiots he loves suggests he’s there !!! i want to know more macden road trips. driving charlie around philly. driving to visit den in college. i cant summarise it well yet further than. ITS SO MAC !!!!! song about the “wanting to poke the bear impulse” hello mac. nice to see you here. having so much passion being ride or die for whatever ur friends want picking a side and dying on it no questioning. the subtle breakdown of that devotion. bickering. i Know you have twenty dollars. macden living together for Twenty Years. ran out of gas out of time out of money. the loves still there but they’re twenty years older and it can’t sustain itself running on nothing for this long. wanting a bit more. wanting to run back in time

emily i’m sorry. the cars !!!! can be both mac pov ab den or den pov ab mac. waking up inside a dream full of screeching tires and fire. the storm. the apartment burning down. all the wars mac and dennis are each fighting inside their heads that are keeping them from eachother. (again macden road trips i know you exist i want to hear more about you) suburbs maybe. and i feel myself becoming someone only you could want. that’s them. macden and the gang. someone only you could love. i’m sorry i just make it up as i go along. again both mac pov ab den and den pov ab mac. it’s their first time being this person coming out and everything that comes with being Them. sure they’re forty they should know better but. it’s their first time. i’m not ready! we could run away be other people. macden most comfortable acting as other people hiding behind fake identities. i’m sorry.

true blue. similarly could be both mac pov ab den or den pov ab mac but i’m sticking with mac pov. knowing dennis so well behind his lies and walls. loving him so passionately despite everything. the first two verses are just So let me tell you about dennis. den running away to college to north dakota fucking around to find out who he is calling mac confessing everything and nothing. and i wasn’t surprised! AND IT FEELS GOOD TO BE KNOWN SO WELL !!!!! I CANT HIDE FROM YOU LIKE I HIDE FROM MYSELF. they know eachother. too much. it feels Good from macs perspective. terrifying from dens. they’re on opposite ends of journey of coming out. even before mac started weathering the storm, dennis Knew him. ofc macden moving in together. straight after college or dennis slinking home from north dakota back to mac. it’s scary. he can’t live without him. YOU ALREADY HURT MY FEELINGS THREE TIMES IN THE WAY ONLY YOU COULD. again loving dennis so passionately, despite everything. i remember who i am when i’m with you !!!! your love is TOUGH your love is TRIED AND TRUE BLUE !!!!! it hurts ! and it’s ugly ! but i love you !! i do !!! i cant stop. i don’t want to stop. dependable and alarming and loyal never ending. YOUVE NEVER DONE ME WRONG EXPECT FOR THAT ONE TIME THAT WE DONT TALK ABOUT BECAUSE IT DOESNT MATTER ANYMORE WHO WON THE FIGHT I DONT KNOW WERE NOT KEEPING SCORE !!!!!!!!!!!! there’s nothing to say. it’s him.

cool about it. the dive bar. paddys <3. i’m trying to be cool about it !!!!! i love you !!!!! feeling like an absolute fool about it !!!! i love you too much !!!!!!! wishing you were kind enough to be cruel about it. times up. it’s never gonna happen. it is. talking himself into i can live without dennis without this love. i cant. wanting dennis to apologise. to be Real for once. to not run away. to shout and scream at him and everything he’s ever done. loving him Despite it. to validate macs feelings and experiences. absolution and all it’s religious connotations. religion woven into this love you can’t escape it. dennis as the golden god. dennis as a thousand sins, the ultimate temptation. wanting so badly to just forget about him to be able to walk away like dennis seemed to be able to do so. once i took your medication to know what it’s like and now i have to act like i cant read your mind i ask you how you’re doing and i let you lie but we don’t have to talk about it i can walk you home and practice method acting ILL PRETEND BEING WITH YOU DOESNT FEEL LIKE DROWNING tellin you it’s nice to see how good you’re doing even though we know it isn’t true. again. nothing else to say. that’s them. all tied up.

not strong enough !!!!!!!!!!! i know i have done a thousand not strong enough posts but surprise surprise the search function isn’t working. another jumping around perspective jumping around timeline. IM NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO BE YOUR MAN. mac and the storm. mac getting so so so strong while dennis was in north dakota getting so so so strong to come out physically and emotionally. to find his pride. black hole opened in the kitchen their midnight teas inflate peeking into the kitchen. theyre drowning stuck in that apartment. but it’s also a lifeboat! the double i’m not strong enough to be your man i lied i am / i lied i am just lowering your expectations. i Am strong enough to come out, but you’re not. don’t expect much from me i don’t know if i can deliver it. I DONT KNOW WHY I AM THE WAY I AM !!!!! i don’t know why i’m like this. i cant stop it. the bossiness the obsession. ALWAYS AN ANGEL NEVER A GOD ALWAYS AN ANGEL NEVER A GOD !!!!!!!! the storm !!!! the storm !!!!!!!! no matter how hard he tires that war is never ever ending!!! gods never gonna come say ur alright mac it’s okay.

revolution 0. macs crippling lonely upbringing. whatever the fuck macdennis is. it’s not real. none of it is. whatever he thinks the love between him and dennis is. if it isn’t love then what the fuck is it. just let me pretend !!!!!! angry and violent child screaming for love and attention never quite learning how to stop, because love never found him! the storm. dennis vs god. maybe they’re the same. he would like that. being stuck forever the only people who have stayed Hate you and they won’t shut up about it. if you’re raised with an angry man in your house …. go and invite him in etc. i wish he was angrier. mom too. i wish they cared enough to shout at me. give me Something other than indifference. even if the gang hate me at least they tell me they’ll scream and shout and laugh and punch me. at least they see me.

leonard cohen. macden driving forever !!!!!! listening to dennis’ stupid music forever. trying to read into it to see part of him between the chorus and the verse. if you love me you will listen to this song. of course i love you dennis. i’ve been listening to rick astley since i met you. i promise i will never give you up. or let you down. or run around and desert you. even if you do it to me a thousand times (you will). you said i might like you less now that you know me so well. I MIGHT LIKE YOU LESS NOW THAT YOU KNOW ME SO WELL. cause i know you man. right after mac came out. I Know You. that’s terrifying. so he ran (around and deserted mac)! i think that’s true. telling stories we wouldn’t tell anyone else. the comfort of driving. den’s flimsy sense of control. not having to look eachother in the eye. music playing on the radio you can pretend you didn’t hear. “there’s a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in” sunny is a love story. and i am (not) an old man having an existential crisis at a buddhist monastery writing horny poetry. turning their apartment into a church. macs room a place of worship. i never thought love would happen to me i never thought You would happen to me

satanist. a satanist an anarchist a nihilist with me. let’s run away and hide and be someone else. they can’t catch us. i’ll go against god i’ll be a Satanist as long as You’re with me as long as i have you. please can we run away. do you want to be in my life a long time? i want you there. macden and hiding behind these fake personas. everyone else has talked ab this phenomenon a thousand times better than i am today. at least until you find out what a fake i am. i’m sorry i don’t think i can actually leave god behind. he’s the only person who loves me. we both know you can’t let yourself love me. honey and vinegar. you wonder if you can ever be seen from so far away a slow pull a seismic drift leaning over the edge of the continent. it’s so hard to come back!! you hang on until it drags you under.

we’re in love. they’re in love !!!!!! you could Absolutely break my heart. that’s how i know. loving dennis Despite everything. and i told you of your past lives, every man you’ve ever been, it wasn’t flattering boy you listened like it mattered. he’s trying at least. again a thousand times mac and dennis Having to hide behind aliases and masks. if you rewrite your life may i still play a part. dennis trying to run away to Be someone else but always having to come crawling home to mac. in the next one will you find me i’ll be the boy with the pink carnations pinned to my lapel who looks like hell and asks for help. that’s them. that’s always been them. there’s something about you that i will always recognise. we’re in love. it’s stupid and ugly and wrong in all the right ways and right in all the wrong ways. it’s us and it’s love!

anti curse. OUGHHHHH. i have already done a line by line mac analysis of this song ITS SO. it’s the storm! he’s drowning !!!! everybody else knew mac was gay but he’s Still drowning. making peace with my inevitable death drowning on the boat, mac coming out and abandoning god - the gang begging him to ask god for help, and when the heavens open and god answers they all climb and kick and push mac down to the bottom. and he drags them back down. he was ready to die with the gang. to go to hell. the gates opened god listened to him God Heard Him Say He’s Gay. being ready to die to be swallowed by this storm. i guess i did. alright considering !! macs relationship w his parents. with the gang. tried to be a halfway decent friend wound up a bad comedian. they all hate me. he’s spent his whole life begging for his parents to love him this moved onto the gang. but they all hate him. he’s a joke. was anyone ever so young? all they are is children begging for love and attention. unpacking god in the suburbs. meeting dennis. never being able to go back. i’m swimming back !!!! learning to weather the storm !!!!! dad. i’m gay. he’s not drowning!!! controlling the war holding your own little peace summit at the eye of the storm. you don’t have to make it bad just cause you know how. dennis begging and screaming for him to just go back in the closet. no! writing the words to the worst love song you’ve ever heard. loving them all despite everything. sunny is a love story. love in its foreign characters an incantation like an anticurse (or even a blessing!!!!) mac being the only member of the gang Not cursed in the gang gets cursed. he’s finally on a string of luck ! but fucks it up anyways