Manic Pixie Dream Gremlin

“for the plot” i say as i actively ruin my life

they really don't make Bigass Cabinet For Computer anymore. we were at the used furniture warehouse the other day & they had so many. that's the way things should be. lock away that wretched machine when you're done looking at it

having your own money is fucking dangerous because the only person stopping me from buying whatever I want is myself. and myself has bad judgment sometimes

never be good at your job. it's a trap. they'll just give you more and harder stuff to do and it'll pull you away from your true passion of writing gay fanfiction for people on the internet

The thing is nobody at pride is evaluating you to determine if you’re queer enough to be there because they’re too busy thinking “it’s so hot out” and “why is this lemonade 12 dollars?”

i know you said we ride at dawn but i’m not a morning person actually. can we ride after lunch

i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich

being an adult is just dragging urself kicking and screaming to things that you will enjoy and that will be good for you

clenching my teeth and muttering under my breath "you'll be happy you did it you'll be happy you did it you'll be happy you did it" as I physically force myself out the door to go Do Things

being very firm with myself every time I think about bailing and saying "no. you committed to this. it will improve your quality of life. you will enjoy it. now put on your big boy pants and go."

I like when cats are like busy doing something and not really in the mood to be pet so they like walk past you at exactly the right distance to be just barely out of reach and if you lean forward they very slightly increase their pace to avoid getting caught in the affection zone. Like oh sorry sir I didn’t realize you were in the middle of important business. We can reschedule this for another time

To my 25 - 35 year olds, you've reached the age where people around you are starting to give up on themselves because they think it's too late. Don't let that energy rub off on you. It's not too late.

You guys would like my posts a lot more if you had my exact life experiences and internal monologue