baby baba yaga

it’s so magical and beautiful that there are sprawling interconnected cave systems carved deep into the earth by various geological forces and you don’t have to go in them. there are miles and miles of stone passageways in total darkness that require you to exhale all the air out of your lungs to squeeze through parts of them and you don’t have to be there. some of these squeezes are underwater and require cave divers to take off their oxygen tanks and push them through ahead of them and me i am above ground looking at the sky as we speak. there are untold subterranean wonders no human has ever seen and i will not be the one to discover them #grateful #blessed

i really like how the milkman exists as an entirely fossilized character who now serves no purpose other than to fuck people's wives for the punchline

one time in college i was in a creative writing class and this guy was holding up the critique with what i can only describe as like cinemasins dinging another student's writing. and at some point the professor said "the plot is the fork and the prose is the meal. you are critiquing the taste of the fork"

close your eyes and imagine freshly roasted root vegetables perfectly seasoned and crispy as far as the eye can see

Sam trying to get Frodo to take one more step

Sam psychologically tormenting Gollum

Wile E. Coyote, two milliseconds before he lights a match only to reveal he's surrounded by flammable traps he himself has set and the whole website explodes

"i feel besquintled", said no one ever. because that's not a word.

nsfw sideblogs r so funny. my friend we can't talk here it isn't safe.. we have to go to sex world together

The deepest down of the ocean…….

we've been watching this show about mysteries and I am So Tired of the narrator saying "it changed their lives...forever" bitch everything you do changes your life forever. something can't change your life and then unchange it. shut up

holy shit can we be thankful that there are only like, 2 types of phone chargers nowadays? if youre phone died in 2007 you were fuck outta luck

this shit had to be a fuckin fire hazard or something i swear to goddd

they beat jesus with that

happy good friday

I love getting older. I’m hotter, more confident, more intelligent. Ageism is a dirty trap. Don’t get caught in it.

Arugula is some crap they found on the ground for real

thats because its plance. there are others as well