🦇

body: you are dying of The Heat

me: [sticks one leg out]

Demon to my now exposed leg:

yea im into bdsm

how turtles be when they see a nice piece of lettuce

me, having been ignored for approximately .5 seconds:

Me, after I get vaccinated:

December 18th

the cool thing about having an idiot alt right supporting brother is when he gets mad over dumb shit my sister and i go “It’s concerning how such a small thing triggers such a strong reaction from you.” in the family groupchat and he’ll see the word “trigger” in relation to him and go fucking nuclear

case in point: he’s angry about Stranger because she knocked over a glass he left on the counter overnight and said if we don’t find her owner by tomorrow he’ll throw her out the window.