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scottbaiowulf-deactivated201805

Male writers writing female characters:

“Cassandra woke up to the rays of the sun streaming through the slats on her blinds, cascading over her naked chest. She stretched, her breasts lifting with her arms as she greeted the sun. She rolled out of bed and put on a shirt, her nipples prominently showing through the thin fabric. She breasted boobily to the stairs, and titted downwards.”

m1ssc0mmun1cat10n

‘ She breasted boobily to the stairs, and titted downwards’ is the greatest fucking sentence I have ever read.

silly-activites

THE ORIGINAL??

dduane

(smh) Never thought I’d see it in the wild. Yet here it is. :)

browniejeane

always gotta reblog the ‘breasted boobily’ post

thuriweaver

noah-wyles

she's the best of us

derinthescarletpescatarian

clearly he doesn't

roach-works

what's particularly funny about this is that crows very notably flap a lot for their wingspan-- they rarely glide for longer than a few seconds and they basically never soar around on thermals the way birds of prey do. so this lil guy is definitely having fun doing something weird!

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stealingpotatoes

im the bravest ever

slayer-barbie

I am smart enough to know I've just been insulted and sexy enough not to care.

Fran Drescher as Fran Fine in The Nanny (1993-1999)

stealingpotatoes

i hauve a cold

stealingpotatoes

ashisdeadanddying

You’re all gonna love this one

ardinwriter

This f***er just out there quilting chocolate

mist-the-wannabe-linguist

langernameohnebedeutung

Going to Bettchen. Having a Nickerchen. Straight up schlummering.

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rlyehtaxidermist

"immortality sucks because all your friends die" all your friends die anyway. those we do not mourn are those who mourn us.

"immortality sucks because you forget who you are" we always forget who we are. do you remember who you were at four years of age? who you were at fourteen? "who i am" is a shadow cast on the wall.

"immortality sucks because" skill issue. skill issue. skill issue. give me your liver

bananasinsidemyhead

zevran

catchymemes

one-time-i-dreamt

Dolly Parton has come to do a show in my town. We couldn't afford tickets, so me and my mom sold my stepdad so we could go.

It turned out that we sold him to Dolly Parton, she made him sing with her and then she gave him back.

moo-moohead

I threw my short, blonde hair into a messy bun before putting on my cowboy boots. I stared at my big blue orbs in the mirror and sighed. I'm nothing like the other step-dads in town. I'm different. I like to mow the grass.

"Stupid man!" I heard my stepdaughter yell, and I quickly hurried down the stairs to see my wife and stepdaughter standing there, arms crossed.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"We need money for concert tickets, so we're selling you." My wife roared.

I felt tears flow down my rosy red cheeks as I held my Horse Monthly magazine to my chest.

"Howdy honey!" Someone's voice drawled from behind me. I turned around

"Dolly Parton!?" I gasped.

allsadnshit

I will never get over how weird it feels to have tragic and emotional chapters of your life where you just also still go to work, and the grocery store, and see funny videos online all while feeling such paralyzing fear and heartache

life just goes on no matter what

arrows-for-pens

noxshade

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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wackom

Bothering the beast

evilponds

another one

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