*unintelligible screaming*

“get the fries, you’ll need the energy in the coming days”

Cmon man

we all have that friend that reminds us of a wretched and despotic boy-king

never correc t a woman what if she pulls out her powerful sword and behaeds you

The Lady of the Lake’s (canonical) motivation for stealing baby Lancelot was that he was the most beautiful baby in the world. He was the prince of (and presumed heir to) a kingdom that had just been annexed and his father had just died of grief while fleeing but the Lady of the Lake spirited Lancelot away while his mother wept over the corpse of his father because he was cute. No other reason. His pretty privilege saved his life for the first time in infancy and went on to stop and cause wars.

Video game where you get to play as a knight of the Round Table and go on quests and gain renown and level up your skills and befriend and romance other characters but it always ends in everyone being slaughtered at Camlann. You can decide to assist Mordred in usurping his father or support the king you have served for so long but everyone will die anyway. This kingdom will inevitably crumble, you can’t do anything about it. You can put hundreds of hours into it and there is nothing you can do about that. But you CAN flirt with sexy single father Gawain!

*introducing myself to the guards who caught me* seized to meet you

I passed a flower shop next to a tattoo shop and at first I laughed because I thought it was ironic and then i freaked because IMAGINE YOUR OTP IN A FLORIST/TATTOO ARTIST AU

OMG I COULD TOTALLY IMAGINE THEM LIKE THAT IT WOULD BE SO PERFECT

I cannot BELIEVE a post I made when I was 13 is circulating! And also apparently started this trope? I thought somebody had the idea separately and it blew up that way😭

most tragic thing about wanting to see more stuff of your oc is that the c is o and YOU have to make the stuff. devastating. why can’t art of my beautiful baby just appear in my hands. just materialize under my pillow, like from the tooth fairy

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

the real answer to almost every "does [identity A] belong in [identity B] spaces" question is actually just "these spaces are informal social groups and if you're cool you can hang, don't worry about it"

not without those fire exits I'm not. have fun in your death trap, ladies