I walk the line.

My sweet P has given me a big scare this week. I thought she had a stroke only to think she had a seizure and then finally diagnosing her with some type of vertigo. Her ears are clear but from what I understand it could be neuro or it could just be something called “old dog vestibular” I know not everyone has extreme bonds with their dogs but I do. Penelope has been my constant companion for 13 years. She has been a steady safe place through so many things. She sleeps with me every night and her little body curled against me gives me great comfort. In my darkest days her “morning person” antics have gotten me out of bed when depression swallows me whole and I don’t want to move. Sometimes when things are bad and my mind is being mean to me she is the only reason I will get up and even though I’m annoyed in that moment I know it helps me not wallow in my own thoughts. She makes me laugh every day. I know we don’t get to have our dogs forever and although I’m grateful they even exist that obliterates me. I’m not sure what will happen and I’m “pretty” sure she can’t read so she’ll never read this but I can’t help but share what she means to me. I’m grateful for each freckle on her sweet face. I’m grateful for every morning she’s dragged me out of bed against my will. I’m grateful for every belly laugh she has blessed me with. I don’t think I’ll ever be without a dog but I know I’ll never have another Penelope. She will always be the dog and friend who got me through some of the worst things that have ever happened to me. I’ll love her and honor her forever. Hopefully it isn’t time yet.