Tiny Stark was right

win, lose, i don't care, we're with these boys forever. ♥️

thank you, my dear @hazlehoff for so many of the ideas.

this post was actually supposed to be out yesterday morning, you know... before the ipl fucking started. but i Do happen to be a serial procrastinator, so et voila. consider this a celebration after rcb's brilliant performance yesterday, mwah mwah 🤌🤌

anyway, look at them and tell me they're not father-son -

the snappiest pair, as we can see ☝️

also the giggliest 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

duos who curse other people under their breath STAY together 🤌🤌🤌

mandatory "kaha se laate ho aise logo ko" (where do you even find these kinds of people). they have a similar kind of "why the fuck am i being forced to be here" vibes.

this is actually what prompted me to embark on this post lmaoo the way they hide behind their hands when they laugh UGH 🤌🤌🤌so obsessed with this. they are Genetically related

the heart eyes go INSANE I'M SCREAMING (also can you believe how long it took me to find a kohli heart eyes clip i was happy with. indecently fucking long. this man looks at everyone like he's in love with them, the time it took me to find this was CRIMINAL.) (the only reason i looked for it also was because of rajat cause loOK WHAT IS THAT FOND GAZE -)

it is also criminal how little kohli-patidar content we got last season (this needs to be Changed this year), but here's some moments of them i could find -

this, when rajat hit an insane shot over the wicketkeeper's head (after he nearly broke his jaw attempting a similar shot just the previous ball) proud Father, mixed with "what the fuck are you crazy what was that" kind of reaction 🤌🤌🤌

the group hug after winning the finals 🥹virat was the first person rajat ran to (but not the first person raj hugged, because his own husband jitesh ran to him first heheh 🤌🤌) can you even see virat uh.. yea he's squished in there if you squint 😭🥺🫂

i DESPISE that there isn't better quality, longer footage of this hug UGH. that's his SON that's his caPTAIN WHY CAN'T YOU LET US SEE THEM HUG 🔪🔪🔪

okay but this, after the finals, virat praising rajat, "injury replacement to ipl-winning captain, what a turn-around!" and rajat flustered - and the bat being gifted? the kiss to it?? excuse me??????? i'm sorry i really am i ADORE THEM SO MUCH 🤌👌🥹

honourable mention to the numerous times last year when commentators mistook rajat and virat for each other when they were fielding/batting together - believe me, i love rajat's longer hair this season (i love it a concerning amount, actually, nothing makes me like a man more than when he grows his hair out. also have you seen it under that helmet? 🤤) but i do mourn that they can never be confused for each other now 😭😭😭

okay, last segment - i can't end this post without mentioning their ships - myself and @hazlehoff like to headcanon that in this current team, virat and joshua regina george hazlenut (joshy heh) are the parents to the young boyfriends rajat and jitesh (..don't think about that too hard. jitesh married into the family, okay?) and i am holding everyone at gunpoint to go check out kay's hoffrat diaries, and become as hoffrat pilled as possible RIGHT NOW 🔪 (thank you very much, @dreamsofnightmares2035 for teaching me how to link stuff mwah mwah 🫶 aren't you so proud)

right now, though, because i am mentally ill enough to notice, i saw some ahem parallels between rajat-jitesh and virat-abd, so -

the clingiest pairs of husbands after winning games 🤌🙂‍↕️

LOOK AT THESE TWO. THE REASON WHY THEY'RE BLUSHING LIKE THAT IS BECAUSE THEIR RESPECTIVE HUSBANDS ARE TALKING ABOUT THEM TO THE REST OF THE TEAM (ab is a lot nicer than jitesh, who looked rajat point-blank in the eye and said "rajat... nothing." when talking about the individual contributions to the game LMAOOO) (which i mean. fair. raj got run out on 8 hsjdjejjdjd)

the teasiest pairs of husbands - the famous "alien de villiers" moment, plus the incident i just mentioned between raj-jitu - why are you just giggling, sir. he's trolling you. smh 😭

(bonus - jitesh making up for the teasing)

(what i want to know is why rajat panicked so much when jitesh grabbed him. what did you think jitesh would do. you do know you can't makeout in the dressing room, right -)

this gif is from 2022, aka the year both rajat patidar and josh hazlewood joined rcb, and just look at the way both hoff and virat are checking in on and appreciating rajat, the new child in their family :')

and why jitesh is the one who married into the family (look how lovingly josh looks at virat showing affection to jitesh? how proud josh is of jitesh taking that catch? well done maaateeeee - hoffy and jitesh the son-in-laws of the kohli-patidar family, if you will. we also came with the kohli/patidar and hoff/jitesh are closer respectively because wicketkeeper tends to work with their fast bowlers really well so, hehe):

starting with the number one husband of all time — ab de villiers

followed by a very close south african again, faf du plessis

then we get the men from down under — australia, including but not limited to:

glenn maxwell

josh hazlewood

adam zampa

tim david

marcus stoinis (i tried to find a photo of them in the rcb jersey where they’re all touchy like this but nothing beat this so)

special shoutouts to the brits as well:

phil salt

kevin pietersen (the pixelated quality really reflecting the passage of time)

and lastly, to complete the “virat kohli and boyfriends” playing xi, from the west indies we have a very dashing chris gayle

Tony: that’s great! Hope you got something out of it

Stephen: I did!

Tony: *pulls out Riri Williams*

Stephen: … Why are you all looking at me like I’m a zoo animal?

Peter: Well, Mr. Stark acts as sort of the dad of the group, so emotionally, this is kind of like being told that you’re our new dad.

Stephen: But you know it’s nothing like that, right?

Peter: Go with them

Tony: What

Peter: I’d make them a parental figure and soon enough my Parker Luck will kill them

Tony:

Peter:

And it’s this scene right here:

Look at Tony’s face. Look at the shock and fear.

Bucky had no way of knowing that Tony could have protected himself, and he aimed right at Tony’s head. Look at the proximity of the weapon to Tony’s face. He could’ve blown his mind clear off if Tony wasn’t fast enough.

Tony had absolutely no way of knowing that Bucky “had changed” when literally just what? Days? Hours? Moments? ago, he could’ve died at Bucky’s hands.

I'm not a writer and honestly I guess tony's arc was kinda complete, but I think his self-pity, his anxiety of always having to improve would affect this film, in a different way from Iron Man 3, since in this he would also have to manage the disappearance of the Avengers and of its consequences. He would work twice as much as an iron man and perhaps this would lead to more hatred of him by civilians (cough that lady in civil war cough and maybe a possible villain cough). Another thing I always saw weird is how they handled Tony and Pepper's relationship. I mean, they broke up because Tony never stopped with being Iron Man, so in this movie they could have shown us how at the end they managed to make things work between them, since this was never explained to us and since Pepper never "accepted" this side of him and Tony never wanted to leave Iron Man.

Also, they could have showed us Tony mentoring Peter and how they became closer, and i genuinely think that if they showed more of them, their respective death would have hurt more for us. Peter was the reason why tony wanted a child- you can't tell me otherwise because we all know he wouldn't even think about a baby before civil war, mostly because of his father- so we would have seen how Tony acted towards him and slowly becoming like a father figure to him.