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seeing a notification from a mutual is just like hi I love you btw

if you squint you can see that the penis is actually quite phallic in nature

god I'm such a slut for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce *decides it’s inaccurate to refer to myself as a slut in light of my minimal sexual activity* if The Enemy discovered my ardor for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce, they would gain a significant strategic advantage

"whats your 5 year plan?" buddy I nearly go insane thinking about what I should have for dinner

eva stratt you are the most interesting character in all of fiction ever eva stratt they could never make me hate you

are you freaking serious did they actually put steve in minecraft

in my delirious half-awake state i appear to have typed the wrong game

i love when my mutuals are mutuals with each other #myecosystem #myenclosure

im going to fix my entire life

When?

Like Um. later

a cat is a sort of machine that dispenses hair all over you and everything else in the room