What Up Tumblr Freaks

It’s a Cat Dinner Party..

Okay so I followed this video about foreshortening and…

GUYS

SHIT

Sharing beds together since they were little kids and never really growing out of that habit even though it now hurts to be that close to each other, knowing it will never be anything more than platonic cuddling. 

Each of them being that one person the other goes to to feel better when they’ve had a shit day or date. Bonus if it’s 3am and they spend all night talking.

Neither of them realising how much they act like they are dating/married and getting super flustered or sad when someone asks how long they’ve been together because do you have to remind me of this painful unrequited torment I die a little more of with every passing second?

How much they make each other smile when one of them walks into a room. 

Drunk kissing.

Practice kissing.

Going as each other’s dates to everything because it’s “convenient”. 

Wearing each other’s pyjamas when staying over somehow becoming more arousing than if the other person was naked. 

Having inside jokes and finishing each other’s sentences as casual as anything. 

Knowing random medical shit about each other. Bonus if one of them takes an allergic reaction to something and the other one just pulls out some random ass medicine like they carry it around all the time- spoiler: they do- just in case of this exact eventuality. 

The heart break of seeing each other with other people but doing their best to see it through with grin and with as much encouragement as they can muster. 

Staring a little too long at each other. 

The awkward moment when they reach the age they said they would marry each other if they were still single.

Getting fake married as kids and family members always reminding them about it , maybe going as far as to put on the video of the fake ceremony and giving them knowing looks.  

Something happening- a kiss, sleeping together- and getting into an argument about it, scared this is it, this is the end, that they’ve fucked up and just wishing they could talk to each other about it, to their best friend. 

Having the best black mail material on each other but ready to pounce on anyone else who so much as dares try black mail their BFF. 

Having a song. Having a whole playlist. 

Laughing the first time they have sex. 

Already having seen each other at their very worst.

Getting to say cheesy things like, “I can’t believe I get to spend the rest of my life with my best friend” or “I know I’m marrying you but…do you think I could still be in charge of your send off party? I’ve been planning this night for ten years and I will not have someone else mess those plans up.” 

Wait wait wait so you’re telling me

That these things aren’t elaborately shaped slightly mathematical candies?

I’m still gunna check

We trained the dog so that when he wants out, he goes to the front door and waits.

Somehow in his little golden retriever brain, he interpreted this to mean “go to the front door, and lick it.”

If he’s at the door, but isn’t licking it, he doesn’t need out, he’s just chilling.

So, this was our routine - when he wants out, he goes to the front door, and licks it. And then we moved house, and he got very, very confused.

He knew he had to go to the front door when he wants out, but this was a new house with obviously a door that was completely new to him.

Despite our condo having only one door that leads outside, and him going out this very same door literally at least five times a day, every day, for about a year…he still has no idea where the front door is in this house. Absolutely no idea at all.

Now whenever he needs out, he will go to any random door and start licking it. And I mean any door - the bathroom door, my bedroom door, my closet, the goddamn door of a kitchen cabinet, even.

I don’t know if he’s really smart or really dumb. Because clearly, he understands conceptually what a door is. I don’t know if he thinks my closet or the kitchen cabinets lead to outside, or if he’s just hoping to find doggy Narnia, or if he’s just hopelessly given up on ever being able to find the door by himself and is just doing the best he can, but every goddamn time he wants out, he’s right there licking the glass door to the shower or something.

He doesn’t alert us he needs out any other way. So if you haven’t seen him in a while, you have to search room by room until you find him with his tongue pressed up against the linen closet because he thinks outside might be that way.