The Higher, the Fewer

why am i dressed slutty you ask? to read classic literature alone in my room. mind your own business.

Me meeting a stranger at a party: yeah and that 14 year-old girl has to do neurosurgery on her alien friend because otherwise he's dead, it's not even the only thing they deal with at that moment either

must feel good as fuck to curse a prince for being rude to you while you were larping as an old woman for no reason

reading classic literature is fun because everyone knows about them and you go in with a basic level of knowledge, like everyone knows about Moby Dick's biblical imagery and weird handling of race and Ishmael's oddly homosexual thoughts but what they never talk about is Dr Bunger. Dr Bunger. The Moby Dick character named Dr Bunger. Dr Bunger who shows up like 300 pages in. Dr Bunger.

the thing about Spock’s Brain is that Spock’s brain being stolen isn’t even the most hilarious and ridiculous plot point of the episode, really.

I think that’s the episode where Chekov heats up a rock with his phaser and he and the away team all warm their hands on it, which was so fucking funny to me I had to pause and cough and laugh

the first minister and the kai being at odds politically was probably the most exciting thing to happen to bajoran political cartoonists since the cardassian withdrawal. and the farm equipment spat? comedy heaven. shakaar is getting classist-ly carricaturized into last wednesday. you can't go anywhere without seeing a cartoon of that guy digging a hole

dukat is slapping his knee and hollering at a shakaar cartoon of him moving kai winn's lawn. (bajorancartoonsdaily.com). becoming somber and serious when he reads the one about kira being pregnant with the emmisary. (top gossip sites theory). perking up at another mean one about shakaar's d'jarra and writing it down to try saying later. the website has 500 hourly hits and 499 are his

not many fictional narrators have made me feel like I'm stuck in an endless conversation with a stranger who's having a manic episode quite as much as ishmael does. really every page is like wow that's. that's great man I'm-- yeah no I see you've read a lot about whales-- oh wow. yeah that's. you know I'm not sure any of your coworkers act the way they do because of their race, I mean I haven't met them, that's just-- uh huh-- oh that's. uh huh. and queequeg is your husband? that's nice. oh. not like... he's not your husband? you're married but he's... okay. look man I kind of have to go but-- polar bears are scary, yes. uh huh. becau-- because they're white? I mean, I think they're scary because they're huge and known to hunt humans when they get a chance, I don't think white animals are like, universally scary. I'm-- oh. haha yes that's. that's a funny pun. yeah. yeah no I got it. right haha yes no I understood you don't have to explain-- no really I did understand the joke it was funny I promise-- yes I know you think whales are cool