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Ravenclaw: can you do me a favour?

Gryffindor: I would literally cover up a murder you commited, plant my DNA at a crime scene, and take the blame for you if you want me too

Ravenclaw: . . .can you wash the dishes?

Gryffindor: No❤️

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Slytherin: I don’t know how to tell you this Gryffindor, but you’re in love with me

Gryffindor: What?

Gryffindor:

Gryffindor : Oh my god, I am

Ravenclaw: What kind of confession did I just witness??

Gryffindor: * is crying *

Slytherin: Hey, don’t cry, somebody loves you

Gryffindor: Really?

Slytherin: yep

Slytherin : not me tho

Slytherin: :(

Hufflepuff: Turn that frown upside down!

Slytherin: ):

Hufflepuff: Listen here you little piece of shit-

Gryffindor: * sneezes *

Slytherin: Bless you

Gryffindor: * sneezes again *

Slytherin: Ok you’re blessed you can shut up now, stop being such an attention seeker.

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Remus and James: *talking*

Sirius: whatever I’ll just date myself

Remus: Love is a myth, I can’t trust anyone again. I think about life and I cry every night because of this. Was this nothing but a game to him? He knows how much I cared and he did this to m-

James: Whoa, whoa, what happened!?1?!!?11

Remus: Sirius ate my fucking chocolate.

Remus: Look, I just need to hear those three little words.

Sirius: I love you?

Remus: no the other one

Sirius *sighing*: I will behave

Remus: you won’t, but thank you

Harry and the Tramp😏

Adventures of Dadfoot and Moomy

Sirius*humming*: I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE, THE OTHER BROTHER CAN’T DENY-

six month old harry: *laughs*

Sirius: WAITT, OMG DID U JUST LAUGH, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG

Remus: WHAT, WHAT HAPPENED!

Sirius: HARRY JUST LAUGHED!

Remus: WAIT WHAT, OMG HOW DID YOU DO IT

Sirius: uM, weLL, abouT thaT, uM I uh, sang him a song?

Remus: OMG, U DIDN’T SING BABY GOT BACK DID YOU

Sirius: well I was humming it and well, HARRY JUST LOVES ARSES OK

Remus: WAIT, LET ME TRY

*5 minutes later*

*REMUS WHACKING SIRIUS’ ASS WHILE HARRY’S LAUGHING*: I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE, THE OTHER BROTHER CAN’T DENY-

*James and Lily come in*

James and Lily: wtf?????

Sirius: MOONY HOW INAPROPRIATE!

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* after watching tangled *

Sirius: Do you think if we sang that song Rapunzel was singing to her hair, we’ll never die?

James: OMG, imagine the amount of deathly pranks and hexes we can do without dying!

Sirius: IMAGINE SNAPE! HE WON’T EVEN BE ABLE TO FIGHT BACK OUR IMMORTALNESS!

* 3 am in the morning *

Sirius*screaming*: FLOWER, GLEAM AND GLOW, LET YOUR POWER SHINEEEE

James*screaming as well*: MAKE THE CLOCK REVERSE BRING BACK WHAT ONCE WAS-

Remus: OMG, IT’S FUCKING 3 AM, LILY YOU’RE GOING TO FACE MY WRATH FOR ALLOWING THESE TWO TO WATCH MUGGLE MOVIES!

"Be the chaos you wish to see in the world."

Sirius Black and James Potter at some point

Peter: Oh, my God! Lily’s wearing pink! Lily’s wearing pink!

Remus: Are we sure it’s not a white shirt that’s just been bloodied in a dueling match ?

Dorcas: Maybe it wasn’t her. Does she have a twin sister?

Marlene: If Lily had a twin, she would have eaten her in the womb.

Sirius: Wait. Hold it. Stop. How come none of you teased her about it?

James: It’s Lily. She’s scary.

Sirius: You guys are unbelievable. I once wore a tie with a splash of purple. You guys called me Mr. Grapes for two years.

Dorcas: Oh, Mr. Grapes. I forgot about Mr. Grapes.

Sirius: If I wore a pink shirt, you’d tear me to shreds.

Marlene: Well, yeah, but you’d look like a Pigmy puff with a gun.

Lily: What are you guys laughing at?

James: If Sirius was wearing a pink shirt.

Sirius: I get it. That’s hilarious.

Sirius: What’s happening? Lily is the one wearing pink.

Lily: And?

Sirius: It’s gorgeous. I wish I could pull that off

Lily: Dream on Strawberry Shortcake

Sirius: It’s been raining for 7 days. HOW do you explain that?

Remus: Warm air meets a low pressure system?

Sirius: Wrong. It’s raining because god is crying. And he’s crying because he created James and Lily to be the role model of the perfect couple for the entire universe.

Remus: ok but that’s honestly true

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James: So I thought I work well under pressure

James: Turns out I don’t

James: Now I have 15 undone assignments all due tomorrow

James: Sirius, I need you to eat my homework

Sirius: On a side note to James’ suffering, homework tastes great!

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McGonagall *at 3 am*: Sirius’ animagus was a DOG! That’s why 95% of the time a dog kept eating James’ homework when dogs aren’t even allowed.

McGonagall: THOSE BITCHES!

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James: So I thought I work well under pressure

James: Turns out I don’t

James: Now I have 15 undone assignments all due tomorrow

James: Sirius, I need you to eat my homework

Sirius: On a side note to James’ suffering, homework tastes great!

Lily: So I’ve tried every way of saying this to you and now I’m just going to do it

Lily: I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you

James:

James: Oh, I get it, you want us to be the kind of friends who hug each other and hold hands. Like me and Sirius.

Lily: you know what

Lily: *kisses him *

James: James.exe has stopped working please take to Sirius immediately

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