Itâs me, cat.

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Itâs me, cat.

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àČ do i wanna know, hozier cover.
pairing. mattheo riddle x hufflepuff!quiet!reader
summary. sometimes, pansy knows exactly how to bring couples together. when mattheo, known for his grumpy mood, finds himself growing closer to a quiet, introspective girl, he must come to terms with feelings he never expected to have.
warnings. a bit of suggestive scene, but nothing explicit
add notes. I feel like my dialogues would never be said in real life.
visit my masterlist :)
theo loves when u scratch his back
theoâs always been quiet in bed, low groans, shaky exhales, the occasional curse murmured against your skin. but when your nails drag down his back? thatâs when you get a reaction.
his jaw clenches, a sharp hiss slipping through his teeth as he thrusts deeper, harder. âfuckâdo that again.â
you do, digging your nails in just enough to leave faint red trails along his skin, and his head drops to your shoulder, breath hot against your neck.
âmerlinââ his voice is rough, wrecked, and you feel the way his muscles tense beneath your touch, like heâs barely holding on. âyou tryna kill me, sweetheart?â
you smile, pressing your lips to his temple. âyou like it.â
he doesnât deny it. just groans, shoving his face into the crook of your neck as he fucks into you, desperate, chasing that high.
and when he finally comes, his back is covered in thin, angry lines, evidence of just how good you made him feel. evidence heâll still feel tomorrow. evidence heâll want again and again.
Soft launch
Slytherin boys texts genre: crack warning: none note: i would eat these up, ngl Navigation Masterlist
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Second Chances.
Pairings ; Theodore Nott x GN!Reader
Summary ; You loved him through every lie, every empty promise, every time he left you waiting in the coldâand still, you believed he could change. Even when your friends begged you to walk away, you stayed, hoping your love would be enough. But when Theodore forgot your anniversary and laughed with someone else like your heart didnât exist, you finally broke.
A/N ; hi.. cried while making this teehee. Dont forget to listen to these songs while reading! ; - happier than ever by billie eillish - im not the only one by sam smith - happier, traitor, favorite crime and deja vu by olivia rodrigo -tightrope by michelle williams (tgsm)
Warnings ; Emotional abuse, cheating, toxic relationship, gaslighting, self-blame, emotional breakdown, public humiliation (non-violent, verbal), heavy angst, mentions of crying, no happy ending.
Word count ; 9.8k
The corridor is too quiet. The kind of quiet that makes your stomach twistânot because itâs peaceful, but because it isnât supposed to be. Like a lull before a scream. Like a heartbeat pausing for something awful.

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What's Wrong With The Slytherins?
Slytherin Gang X Reader
-Y/N L/N accidentally gets invited in a group chat
Chapter 7: Princess' pick me up
not a help // Blaise Zabini
Synopsis. Sitting with the quiet guy of your class for a potions assignment.
Pairing. Blaise Zabini x hufflepuff.g.n.readerÂ
A.n. I need to get a solid characterization of bro đ„đ„Â
Yes. // No__ requested by @siruslyloony4u
         Quiet man, stern, nonchalant. Whatever you call him Blaise Zabini wasnât one to talk with strangers. Hell if you asked his friends, the most he tends to add is one to two snarky remarks or a correction of fact to a conversation.Â
         And you, Well youâre a good student. You try your hardest to pass and come out with good results. Youâre a kind person, thatâs what your house is known for after all.
         Youâre the person to not hesitate to help. So what happens when your partner for potions refuses to let you do any work?Â
         It was a good day. You had some much needed rest the night before, you were in your favorite class for a group project with the guy you had a big fat crush on.Â
         You and Blaise were paired up in potions for your finals.Â
         You sat at the table around the cauldron and the respective Iranâs youâd use for the assignment. Butterflies flutter in your stomach as you look across at Blaise. He was going over the items.
         The assessment was for you and your partner to use the ingredients given to your pair and decode and decide what potion you were supposed to make. The intended outcome was from a list of potions your class did all semester and each table had different ingredients and intended outcomes.Â
         Snapping back to reality from your long gaze of Blaise you decided to do the same as him, look over the vials and herbs. Just as you were about to grab some roots a hand snatches them from under you, measures, and drops them into the cauldron.Â
         What?Â
         This was a group project wasnât it?Â
         So why is Blaise doing all the work?
         He didnât let you do a thing. Some people may like that prospect but no, not you. It was infantilizing in your mind. You could do this project too! But, this was the guy you've been after since well- forever. You didn't want to make a bad impression so you sat back, tired to tell yourself that this was okay, but it sure as hell didn't feel like it. Soon Blaise was done and the potion was complete. Mr Slughorn came by to look at it, perfect grade. You should be proud, right?
         But alas, there was a pit in your stomach. It hurt you being. Was it jealousy of Blaise's skill? No. bad food? No. what it was, was guilt. You didn't want to take credit for another's work. As good as it sounded it wasn't what you wanted.
         Shit.
         Wasn't all this morals crap for the gryffindors?Â
         The class continued until the charm for the next class. You had spent half of that 70 minute class time staring at the ground with your forehead pressed on the table. Your stomach churned and flipped, it felt like a mix of that guilt and embarrassment. Blaise had done all the work, that's a horrible impression! You're trying to impress the guy you like not latch off him like a leech.
         The sound of the bell was sweet relief. You instantly grabbed your bag but something in you made you stay. The rest of the class filed out rather unorderly with blaise at the back. His friends tugged him along as he glazed back at you standing alone with your bag draped over your shoulder. You turned away from the door and came up to professor Slughorn's desk as he sat behind it.Â
         He looked up at you with a smile. âYou did well! Fastest pair I've ever seenâ he complimented but you couldn't stomach it.
         âIt wasn't me!â you blurted, cheeks hotter than the sun's core.
         He looked at you with pure surprise. âWhat do you mean?â his brows furrowed as he leaned closer over his desk.
         Your eyes shut closed and your hands tightened on your cross body bag, âit-it was all blaise!â you stammered, âi-i didn't do a thing! I uh tried to but anyway I'd like to re-retake it another timeâ your voice lowered down to a whisper, âit that is alright with you. That is, Professor Slughorn.â
         He leaned back into his chair. âWell if you want too i suppose.â he sighed though he still kept his familiar smile.Â
         Merlin, it was over.Â
         You don't know why you were so nervous. But it was over anyway.
         You bowed quickly and scabbled out of the class. As you did so you looked out into the hallway and there he was, Blaise Zabini. He was leaned against a stone pillar and his dark, obsidian eyes locked with yours. He pushed himself off his spot and he walked up to you.Â
         âWhy didn't he take the credit?â he said coldly.
         âOh so uhâ you looked back into the class room for a second, âyou heard that?â you winced slightly as he confirmed your suspicion.Â
         âBut why?â he asked again, âyou would've passed with flying colors.âÂ
         âBut it would not have been my work.â you stammered. âIt would've been your work. That doesn't sit well with me.â
         Surprisingly, he laughed. Well it was more like an amused huff but it was there nonetheless. âThink the sorting hat choose wrong,â he joked.
         âOh I guess.â you chuckled. After that there was uncomfortable silence but instead of leaving Blaise asked another question.
         âWhy didn't you try to help?â
         It caught you off guard. A pit returned in your stomach. âWell you just seemed so in the zone and when i tried to help you took the stuff from right under my hand.â you tried to nervously pass it off as nothing.
         His brows furrowed and his weight moved to one leg. âIf you're going to cosplay a gryffindor maybe get some more confidence,â he huffed before turning on his heel and leaving.Â
         He turned down the hall and now you were left alone with your thoughts. Professor Slughorn's call from his class room for you to get onto your classes snapped you out of your daze.Â
         Shit! He's right! Mrs Umbridge wasn't a forgiving woman.Â
         Your conversation with Blaise didn't help you through your class. His voice and face were engranded into your mind for the rest of the day. It was the longest you had held a conversation with him.
         And hopefully you'd get more.Â
         But who knows, you sure don't.
divider by @cursed-carmine
Silence
Mattheo Riddle
âHave you noticed something different about Mattheo lately?â I ask Pansy as we lean over the railing of the stands, the cold autumn wind brushing our faces.
The air above the Quidditch pitch is sharp enough to sting my cheeks, carrying the mixed smells of damp grass, old wood, and butterbeer.
Down below, both teams stride onto the pitch, Slytherin in emerald green and silver, Gryffindor in crimson and gold. Their robes snap in the wind as they mount their brooms, a blur of color against the grey sky.
The crowd surges with noise. Banners are charmed to wave and glitter overhead, and somewhere behind us a group of second-years is arguing loudly over who will catch the Snitch first.
Pansy glances at me briefly before popping another handful of popcorn into her mouth. The kernels crackle between her teeth, the sound almost lost under the roar of the stands. âNo, why?â she asks, her eyes already flicking back to Draco as he swings his leg over his broom with practiced ease. I can practically see the hearts in her eyes as she tracks his every movement, her lips curving into a little smile whenever he glances our way.
âI donât knowâŠâ I murmur, frowning slightly. The wind tugs at my hair, sneaking cold fingers down the back of my robes. âHe just seems⊠distant lately.â
I take a sip of my Pepsi, Muggle contraband smuggled in at the bottom of my bag. The fizz crackles on my tongue and scratches down my throat. It feels almost out of place here, surrounded by pumpkin juice and butterbeer and floating trays of cauldron cakes, like it doesnât quite belong in this world.
Kind of like me, lately, around him.
My eyes find Mattheo near the center of the pitch, surrounded by Theo and Blaise. Theyâre laughing at something, shoulders shaking, Blaise nearly dropping his broom as he doubles over. Mattheo throws his head back, lips pulled into a familiar grin, except it looks wrong. Stiff. Like itâs painted on. His smile doesnât quite reach his eyes, those warm brown eyes that usually spark with something wicked whenever they find mine. Now, even from this distance, they look flat and distant, as if heâs focusing on something far beyond the stadium, somewhere I canât follow.
A small, heavy knot twists in my stomach.
âMaybe heâs just nervous for the game,â Pansy says with a shrug, the green and silver scarf around her neck fluttering in the wind. She brushes a stray lock of black hair out of her face, her manicured fingers lingering for a second as she squints toward the pitch. âYou know how he gets before a big match.â
âYeah⊠maybe,â I sigh, tracing a finger along the cold metal railing until it numbs the pad of my fingertip. The stands vibrate beneath us as the Gryffindor team soars past, their cheers echoing like a battle cry. Red and gold streamers whip through the air, some enchanted to spit little sparks that fizzle out before hitting the ground.
But I canât make myself look away from Mattheo.
âItâs justâŠâ I lower my voice as Madam Hoochâs whistle shrieks, making me flinch. The Quaffle is released; players shoot forward, streaks of color slicing through the sky. âHe did it last week too. Remember in Potions?â My chest tightens at the memory. âHe acted like I was some sort of distraction, barely even looked at me when I tried to talk to him.â
I can still see it so clearly: the way his jaw clenched when I nudged his arm, murmuring a joke about Longbottomâs exploding cauldron. The way he shifted his stool a few inches away, like my presence was suddenly too much, too close. The way his fingers, the same ones that used to trace idle patterns on the back of my hand under the table, stayed wrapped around his quill instead.
Like something had snapped, and I hadnât heard it until it was too late.
Pansy groans dramatically now, turning to face me fully, her expression caught somewhere between exasperation and concern. âY/n,â she says firmly, cutting off my ramble before it can spiral, âIâm sure everythingâs fine. If something were actually wrong, Theo wouldâve told you. He and Mattheo canât keep secrets to save their lives.â
I bite my lip hard enough to taste copper, my eyes drifting back to where Mattheo now dives after the Quaffle, wind tearing through his hair. His posture is tense, shoulders bunched, his movements just a fraction sharper than usual. He doesnât look toward our section of the stands, not once. He always used to. Before every match, heâd rise above the rest of the team, scan the crowd until his gaze found mine, and smirk like it was our private little ritual.
Today, he doesnât even glance up.
âI guess so,â I mumble, my voice barely audible over the crowdâs deafening cheers as a Slytherin Chaser scores. The stands around us ripple with movement, students jumping to their feet, green sparks shooting into the air from a nearby wand. Someone behind us nearly spills their butterbeer in excitement. âI just⊠hope itâs not me.â
Pansy scoffs and rolls her eyes, but thereâs a softness in her gaze when she looks at me. âOh, itâs definitely not you,â she says with a smirk that doesnât entirely hide her sympathy. âIf anything, heâs probably sulking because you didnât wish him luck before the match. Boys are ridiculously dramatic, you know.â
Guilt pricks at me.
I could have. I should have.
Iâd seen him in the common room earlier, lacing his gloves with slow, deliberate movements. His eyes had flicked up when I entered, then away again just as quickly, as if the sight of me stung. My feet had faltered, and instead of going to him, instead of saying anything at all, Iâd pretended to be fascinated by the fire and slipped out.
Maybe this is my fault.
I let out a small laugh for Pansyâs sake, but it feels thin, brittle. It doesnât reach my eyes any more than Mattheoâs smile reaches his. My gaze drifts back to him, drawn like a magnet I canât switch off. He weaves between two Gryffindor players with effortless grace, but thereâs a recklessness to the way he corners, like he doesnât much care if he crashes.
âYeah⊠maybe youâre right,â I whisper, the words dissolving into the cold air, snatched away by the wind and the roar of the crowd. But a tiny, gnawing part of me, the part thatâs been watching every shrug, every averted glance, every forced smile, wonât be soothed.
Because something is wrong.
And I canât shake the horrible, sinking feeling that whatever it is, it has everything to do with me.
---
The Great Hall hums with chatter and laughter, the clinking of goblets and silverware blending with the low crackle of floating candles above. The scent of roasted chicken, buttery garlic potatoes, and warm pumpkin pasties hangs thick in the air, already settling into my robes. Somewhere down the hall, a first-year shrieks as a friend charms their pumpkin juice to fizz over, and their laughter ripples through the rows of tables.
Slytherinâs table gleams under the enchanted ceilingâs dusky glow, reflecting the soft shimmer of the early evening stars. The ceiling is streaked with low, smoky clouds, hinting at a coming storm. Green and silver banners ripple gently overhead, stirred by a draft that smells faintly of rain and old stone.
I slide onto the bench beside Pansy, the worn wood cool against the backs of my legs, across from Theo and Blaise. Mattheo sits next to Theo, his hair slightly damp from a recent shower after Quidditch practice. A stray curl clings to his temple, glistening where droplets havenât completely dried. He looks maddeningly perfect, with messy curls falling over his forehead, sleeves rolled up to his forearms, the veins in his hands faintly visible as he grips his fork. Thereâs a faint smudge of dirt still on his cheek, a streak he must have missed in the mirror. I have the sudden, stupid urge to wipe it away.
âFinally,â Pansy sighs dramatically, tossing her glossy black hair over her shoulder so it brushes my arm. Her perfume, jasmine and something sharper like cloves, curls around us. âIf theyâd kept us waiting any longer, I wouldâve hexed the house-elves myself.â
Theo laughs, grabbing a roll from the silver platter in front of him and tearing it open with his fingers. Steam curls up, fragrant and warm. âYou? Work up the energy to hex anyone? Donât make me laugh.â
âOh, shut it, Nott,â she huffs, nudging his knee under the table, but thereâs a smirk playing at her lips. The familiar banter washes over me, comforting in its predictability.
I smile faintly and reach for the mashed potatoes, the serving spoon heavy and warm in my hand. The bowl clinks softly as I scoop some onto my plate, but my gaze keeps drifting to Mattheo.
Heâs cutting into a piece of steak with slow, precise movements, his jaw tight, the muscle there ticking every so often.
His eyes are fixed on his plate like itâs done something to offend him.
He doesnât look up.
Not at Theo, not at Pansyâs dramatics, and definitely not at me.
A little knot forms in the pit of my stomach, heavy and uncomfortable. At lunch, heâd barely said two words. After the match, when everyone else had been cheering and clapping him on the back, heâd slipped away before I could even reach him. I told myself he was just tired, just overwhelmed. Mattheo loved Quidditch too much to sulk after a win.
âSo,â Blaise says, leaning back lazily, one arm draped along the back of the bench. The candlelight throws golden edges along his cheekbones. âThat last match was brutal. Gryffindor didnât know what hit them.â
Theo grins, eyes lighting up. âYeah, especially when Mattheo nearly knocked Weasley off his broom. Classic move.â
âReckless move,â Pansy corrects, flicking a crumb off her immaculate green sleeve like itâs personally offended her. âYou couldâve been sent off for that, Mattheo.â
He shrugs and finally speaks, although not to me. âWas worth it,â he mutters, smirking faintly at Theo. Itâs a small, crooked smirk Iâve seen a hundred times, but right now it feels like heâs performing it for them, not feeling it at all.
My fork stills halfway to my mouth. For a moment, I hold my breath and wait for his eyes to flick toward me, for a glance, a shared joke, anything. Thatâs usually all it takes. One look across the table and the noise of the Great Hall fades into the background. But his attention slides right past me as if Iâm not even there.
Heat creeps up the back of my neck, prickling under my collar. Maybe he didnât see me sit down. Maybe heâs really that tired. Maybe Iâm being dramatic. I stab a piece of potato a little too hard, the tines scraping against the plate.
âMattheo,â I start, my voice softer than I intended. It almost gets lost under the swell of chatter rising from the other tables. I clear my throat and try again. âYou didnât even celebrate after the win earlier. Everything alright?â
For a heartbeat, Iâm sure heâs going to look at me. My chest tightens in anticipation. But he doesnât answer right away. He just stabs another piece of steak, his jaw working as he chews, still staring down at his plate as if I hadnât said anything at all.
The silence that follows feels deafening, louder than all the clinking silverware and distant bursts of laughter. My hand curls around my fork, my knuckles whitening. I can feel Pansyâs eyes on me, the small shift of her attention like a weight on my shoulder.
Theo glances between us awkwardly and clears his throat. âUh, I think heâs just tired. Practice has been rough this week.â He forces a little chuckle, but it sounds strained.
âYeah,â Mattheo mutters, still not looking up. âSomething like that.â
Something like what? The words lodge in my throat. Thereâs a tight, aching pressure building behind my ribs, a mix of confusion and something that tastes dangerously like hurt. I press my tongue to the roof of my mouth and will the sting in my eyes to disappear before it can turn into anything embarrassing.
Pansy shoots me a quick, sympathetic look, the kind she only ever shows when no one else is paying attention, then changes the subject with forced brightness. âAnyway, Halloweenâs next week. Weâre all going, right?â She lifts her goblet to her lips, her eyes flicking sideways at me over the rim.
âObviously,â Blaise says, relaxing back into the familiar topic. âWouldnât miss an excuse to drink firewhisky in the common room.â
Theo chuckles, more genuine this time. âAnd get caught again? Yeah, thatâll end well. Iâm still shocked Slughorn believed that story about us âtesting potion fumes.ââ
Their laughter fills the space between us, but their voices feel far away, muffled like Iâve dunked my head underwater. The hall is too bright and too loud. A group of Gryffindors at the next table erupts into song, off-key and yelling the chorus to some house-chant, and the sound grates against my nerves.
My stomach feels tight, my food forgotten, the rich smells of dinner suddenly cloying and heavy. The mashed potatoes on my plate have gone cold, congealing at the edges, but I canât bring myself to take another bite. I pick at the crust of my roll, crumbling it into soft white bits that stick to my fingertips.
I glance at Mattheo one last time, hoping, stupidly and stubbornly, that heâll finally meet my eyes, that heâll give me anything to hold onto. A smirk, a raised eyebrow, a quiet âWeâll talk later.â Instead, he just pushes his plate away with a dull scrape, the sound cutting through the conversation like a blade, and stands abruptly.
âIâm heading out,â he says shortly, the words clipped and flat.
âMate, you barely ate,â Theo says, frowning up at him. Thereâs a flicker of concern in his voice that twists something inside my chest.
âNot hungry.â Mattheoâs voice is flat and final. He doesnât even glance in my direction.
Before anyone can respond, he turns and walks toward the doors, his dark robes swirling around his legs. The enchanted ceiling above him rumbles faintly with distant thunder, as if itâs echoing the hollow roll of my thoughts. I track his retreating figure until the heavy doors swallow him up and heâs gone.
I sit there, staring after him, the sound of clinking silverware and overlapping conversations suddenly too loud, pressing in on me from all sides. A laugh from somewhere to my left makes me flinch. My throat feels dry, like Iâve swallowed ash.
Pansy leans closer, her shoulder brushing mine, her tone softer now and stripped of its usual sharp edge. âY/n,â she says quietly, so only I can hear over the din, âdonât take it personally. Heâs being an idiot.â
I manage a weak smile, though it doesnât reach my eyes. My cheeks feel hot, my chest tight, and I focus on my plate so I donât have to see the concern in hers. âYeah,â I whisper, picking up my fork just to have something to do with my hands. I glance down at my untouched food, the gravy now dull and thick. âMaybe.â
The word hangs between us, thin and fragile, and I canât tell if Iâm trying to convince her or myself.
---
âI told you I wasnât crazy,â I say, my voice sharper than I intend, frustration scraping at the edges of every word. I lean closer to the mirror, the glass cool and a little fogged near the bottom from the steam of our earlier showers. My wandlight charm floats just above the vanity, casting a soft, golden glow over the clutter of cosmetics. I swipe a bit of gloss across my lips and smooth it with the tip of my tongue, if only to keep my hands busy. âHeâs been like this for ages now. You saw how he ignored me the other night at dinner, and Iâve barely spoken to him since.â
Pansy lets out a sympathetic hum, the sound low and familiar, like a song Iâve heard a hundred times. Sheâs sitting cross-legged on her bed, her green-and-silver duvet a crumpled mess beneath her, surrounded by an explosion of makeup brushes, tangled necklaces, and perfume bottles that glint in the dim light. A pair of black heels dangles off the edge of the bed, one already on her foot, the other forgotten beside a half-open copy of Witch Weekly. The faint smell of her favorite vanilla-scented lotion mingles with the always-present hint of parchment and old stone that clings to the Slytherin dorms.
âI mean, thereâs definitely something up,â she says, wrapping a section of her glossy dark hair neatly around her curling wand. The heated metal hisses faintly as it meets her hair, and I catch a faint whiff of singed product. âBut I donât get it, Y/n. Youâve done nothing wrong.â
âExactly!â I exclaim, a little too loudly. My voice bounces off the low, arched ceiling. One of the girls at the far end of the dorm glances over, then quickly looks away. I toss my makeup brush down onto the vanity, and it clatters against a compact, the sharp sound making my already tense shoulders jump. âI havenât done anything! Heâs my boyfriend, for Merlinâs sake, and yet heâs acting like Iâm some stranger he bumped into in the corridor. He even rescheduled our Hogsmeade trip again.â
I grab my bronzer and swirl the brush through the powder, trying to focus on the gentle drag of bristles across my skin instead of the tight, hot ache crawling up my throat. I blend it across my cheeks, but my reflection looks just as exasperated and pinched as I feel. My eyes are too bright, and my lips are pressed together so hard theyâve gone pale around the edges.
Pansy glances over at me, her brow furrowing as she gently shakes out a perfect, glossy curl. It falls over her shoulder like something out of a hair potion advert. âYouâve talked to him about it, right?â she asks. Her tone is light, but I can see the calculation in her eyes. Pansyâs always cataloguing, always assessing, like sheâs mentally rearranging all the pieces of my life to see what doesnât fit.
âIâve tried everything,â I huff, leaning back in my chair until it creaks in protest. The wood digs into my spine, grounding me just enough to keep from spiraling. âI asked him straight up if something was wrong, and all he said was, âIâve just got a lot on my mind.ââ I pitch my voice lower to mimic him, that casual shrug he does, like nothing in the world can touch him. âWhich, letâs be real, is boy-code for âI donât want to talk about it.ââ
My chest tightens. I remember the way he said it, his eyes flicking everywhere but me, his fingers worrying at the silver ring on his thumb, the one Iâve watched him spin absentmindedly in the common room a hundred times. He barely met my gaze, and when our knees brushed under the table, he moved his away like my touch burned.
I roll my eyes now, more out of habit than actual disbelief, and grab my mascara wand with a bit too much force. The plastic tube slips in my sweaty fingers, and I almost drop it. âWeâre supposed to be going to the Halloween party together, Joe and Love from You,â I mutter, forcing a crooked smile I donât quite feel. âLetâs see how that goes.â
Pansy snorts, lowering her curling wand and setting it carefully on a folded towel to cool. âHonestly? Thatâs very fitting for Mattheo. Obsessive boyfriend energy and all.â
Her joke lands, but the laugh it pulls from me is small and fragile, like it might shatter if I breathe wrong. âYeah, except heâs not exactly giving âobsessed with meâ lately,â I say, my voice softer. The words feel heavy on my tongue. âMore like⊠indifferent.â
The word makes my stomach twist. I can handle Mattheo angry, reckless, even downright cruel to people who deserve it, but indifferent to me? That feels like someone slowly, carefully siphoning all the magic out of the room.
Pansy turns off her curling wand and tosses it onto her bed before crossing the rug to stand beside me. Her presence is warm and familiar, a steadying counter to the cold little knot of dread sitting just beneath my ribs. âHey,â she says softly, meeting my eyes in the mirror. Up close, I can see the tiny flecks of gold in her irises and the faint smudge of eyeliner she hasnât blended yet. âWhateverâs going on with him, itâs his problem. Youâre literally glowing right now.â
She picks up a small pot of shimmer from the cluttered vanity and dips her fingertip into it, then dusts it gently over my cheekbones. The powder is cool at first, then warms under her touch. I watch as the light catches on my skin, softening the tension in my face and turning my exhaustion into something almost ethereal.
âIf he wants to mope, let him,â she continues, her voice sliding into that confident, blasĂ© tone she uses when she wants to pull me back from the edge. âBut you? Youâre going to look flawless while he does.â
I let out a small laugh, shaking my head as I blink up at my reflection. I do look good. My eyes are framed by dark lashes, my lips are glossy, and my hairâs charmed into loose waves that fall neatly over my shoulders. I look like a girl who has everything under control. I donât feel like her.
âYouâre ridiculous,â I murmur, though the corner of my mouth is already twitching up.
âRidiculously right,â she corrects, smirking as she reaches for her emerald-green tie, the Slytherin crest catching the light. She flips her hair back over her shoulder with practiced ease. âNow, finish your eyeliner. If weâre late to class again, McGonagallâs going to murder us both, and Iâm not getting detention because youâre having a boy crisis.â
I chuckle, the sound a little more genuine this time, but the tightness in my chest doesnât completely ease. It sits there, a dull, constant pressure, like someone pressing a thumb into a bruise. I uncap my eyeliner and lean in, the tip of the wand hovering dangerously close to my lash line as the train of my thoughts starts up again.
What if itâs me? What if heâs bored, or over it, or realized Iâm not nearly as fascinating as whatever trouble he and his friends get into after curfew? What if the way he used to look at me, like I was some sort of beautiful distraction from the chaos in his head, was just that: a distraction, not something he ever planned to keep?
The wand trembles slightly in my hand, and I force myself to exhale slowly and steady my grip. A thin line of black ink glides along my upper lid, and I focus on that, the smooth pull of skin and the careful flick at the corner.
As I drag the last bit of liner across my eyelid, I canât help wondering whatâs really going on inside Mattheoâs head. I picture him in the boysâ dorm, sprawled across his bed, tie loosened, gaze fixed on the crackling fire in the common room below, his jaw set in that stubborn line I know too well. Is he thinking about me at all, or is he miles away, lost in whatever shadows have been tugging him further and further out of my reach?
And the question that terrifies me most curls, uninvited, around the edges of my mind: whether whateverâs pulling him away is something I can fix, or something heâs already decided not to.
---
Transfiguration was finally over, and the tension in the classroom felt like it could snap a wand in half. Professor McGonagall stood at the front, her lips pressed into a thin line, eyes sharpening like a scalpel every time I failed to answer a question or even meet her gaze. Her tartan robes were perfectly pressed, not a pleat out of place, and somehow that only made the disappointment in her eyes feel sharper. I could feel her scrutiny like a hex waiting to be cast, humming against my skin, sharp and unforgiving, as if she were one eyebrow raise away from turning me into a pincushion for not paying attention.
But I couldnât focus, not with Mattheo sitting beside me like a ghost, silent and distant, his attention fixed anywhere but on me. Every time I dared a sideways glance, all I caught was the rigid line of his jaw and the way his dark curls fell over his forehead, shadowing eyes that never once turned my way. The more he ignored me, the quieter I became, and the more McGonagallâs patience thinned.
Pansy had taken the seat beside Draco, her laughter soft and syrupy as she leaned into him, twirling a strand of her dark hair around her finger. Draco smirked at something she whispered, pale eyes glinting, clearly entertained. Their quills lay abandoned on the desk between them, parchment empty except for a few lazy scribbles. That left me beside Mattheo, my so-called boyfriend, who hadnât looked at me once the entire lesson.
His jaw was clenched, a muscle ticking there every few seconds, and his fingers tapped absently against the edge of the desk in a rhythm that set my teeth on edge. He didnât even have his wand out anymore. It lay between us like a line drawn in the sand. The space between us felt colder than the dungeons, like someone had siphoned all the warmth out of the air and left only this heavy, suffocating silence.
I swallowed, my throat dry, and shifted in my seat, the wooden chair creaking softly beneath me. McGonagallâs voice droned on about proper wand movements for object-to-animal transformations, but the words blurred together, meaningless. I could feel the weight of our classmates around us, with quills scratching, parchment rustling, and whispered incantations, but it all felt far away, like I was trapped under a Bubble-Head Charm with the sound turned down.
I let out a quiet sigh, the kind that carried more weight than words, and began packing my books with slow, deliberate movements. The scrape of parchment, the soft thud of my Transfiguration textbook closing, and the snap of my bagâs clasp all seemed louder in the silence between us. My fingers trembled slightly as I stacked my ink bottle and quill, trying not to notice how Mattheo didnât move, didnât react, and didnât even flick his eyes toward me.
Mattheo and I always walked to Potions together. It was our routine, our unspoken thing, as predictable as the Great Hallâs enchanted ceiling. Heâd wait just outside the door, leaning against the stone archway, one corner of his mouth tilted up in that lazy almost-smile, and weâd fall into step together like it was the most natural thing in the world.
Today, though, before I could even turn to him or decide whether to nudge his arm or just say his name and hope heâd soften, he was already halfway out the door. His chair scraped harshly against the floor, and then he was gone, his Slytherin robes billowing behind him like he couldnât get away fast enough.
The sudden absence of him beside me felt like someone had cast a Disillusionment Charm on the air itself. I stared at the empty space heâd left, the imprint of his elbow still on the desk, my heart thudding dully against my ribs.
I huffed, biting back the sting in my chest, and shoved the last of my things into my bag. My hands moved faster now, more frantic than efficient. Donât make a scene, I scolded myself. Not in front of McGonagall. Not when she already looks like she wants to turn you into a pincushion.
As I stepped into the corridor, the world surged back to life around me.
The hallway outside was a blur of students, the air buzzing with overlapping conversations. Voices echoed off the stone walls, bouncing down the long corridor in a jumble of laughter, complaints about homework, and the occasional excited shout about Quidditch practice. Shoes scuffed and clicked against the floor: polished oxfords, worn trainers, and the squeak of first-years trying to keep up with longer strides.
The smell of old parchment, floor polish, and a faint hint of something floral, maybe a stray whiff of some Ravenclawâs potion experiment clinging to their robes, mingled in the air. Torches flickered in their brackets, casting a warm, uneven glow over the moving mass of robes in deep house colors.
I spotted Mattheo ahead, a dark head above the crowd, his shoulders stiff and his stride purposeful. He moved like the corridor belonged to him, cutting through clusters of students who instinctively stepped aside. His hands were shoved deep into his pockets, his tie slightly loosened, his hair a little messier than usual, but not in the way I liked. This wasnât careless charm. This was tension.
He didnât glance back.
âHey,â I called out, weaving through the crowd and jostling against a Hufflepuff who muttered something under their breath. My bag bumped against my hip with every step, the weight of my textbooks suddenly irritating. I quickened my pace until I was close enough to reach him if I just stretched my hand out, if I dared.
He didnât stop.
âHi,â he said flatly, the word dropping between us like a stone into the Black Lake. His eyes stayed fixed ahead, gaze locked on some point down the corridor that only he could see. His tone was devoid of warmth, stripped of the familiar teasing or lazy affection that usually laced even his most careless words.
His jaw was still tight, the muscle there jumping like he was grinding his teeth. His shoulders were hunched just slightly forward, as if he were bracing against a chill only he could feel, and his hands stayed buried in his pockets like he was afraid of what they might do if he let them out.
I slowed my pace to match his, walking beside him now, close enough that our robes brushed with every step. The contact, once comforting, now felt like static, unpredictable and sharp. I could feel the tension radiating off him in waves, like standing too close to a misfiring spell.
âCan we talk?â I asked, my voice softer this time, trying to find a crack in his armor. My throat felt tight, and I had to swallow around the lump that had formed there. My fingers curled around the strap of my bag, my knuckles turning white.
âIâm fine,â he muttered, barely moving his lips and still refusing to look at me. The words were clipped and automatic, like heâd rehearsed them and worn them out.
I scoffed, the sound more bitter than I intended. âNo, youâre not. Youâve been acting⊠weird.â The word felt too small for what was happening, but it was all I could manage without my voice shaking.
âIâm not acting weird,â he snapped, too quickly and too defensive. His eyes flicked to the side, skimming over my face for a fleeting second, then darted away like even that had been too much.
The sting of it pricked behind my eyes. Once upon a time, he wouldâve held my gaze and smirked, said something disarming that turned my annoyance into amusement. Now, I couldnât even catch his eyes long enough to read him.
âYes, you are,â I said, my voice rising with the frustration that had been building all day, maybe all week. Every forced smile, every half-answer, every time heâd chosen silence instead of telling me what was going on twisted together inside my chest and coiled tighter and tighter. My fingers curled into fists at my sides, my nails biting into my palms and grounding me in the moment. The ache in my chest grew heavier, pressing against my ribs.
âIâm just busy. And tired,â Mattheo muttered as we turned the corner, his voice low and clipped.
We stepped into a narrower corridor, the ceiling arched above us and dotted with blackened candle wax from years of floating lumos charms gone wrong. The torches here burned lower, shadows pooling along the floor and stretching our silhouettes out in front of us. Students brushed past us in waves, Gryffindor scarves flashing red and gold, Ravenclaw badges catching the light, and clusters of Slytherins moving like a school of fish.
Their chatter echoed off the cold stone, but all I could hear was the hollow thud of my own heartbeat in my ears. Busy, my ass.
I stopped walking, my boots squeaking faintly against the flagstones as I planted myself in the middle of the corridor. I folded my arms tightly across my chest, hugging myself more than anything, trying to hold my fraying patience together.
âBusy and tired doesnât mean you ignore me,â I said, my tone sharp enough to cut through the noise around us. A few nearby students glanced our way, then quickly looked away, sensing the tension like a storm brewing overhead.
Mattheo paused a few steps ahead, his back to me. For a moment, he didnât move at all. Then he turned halfway, just enough that I could see the angle of his profile, his mouth twisting as he scoffed under his breath.
âI didnât ignore you.â
The denial burned. I stepped closer, my boots tapping against the floor with short, determined sounds. I could smell the faint, familiar scent of him now, smoke and something dark and warm, along with the lingering trace of potion ingredients that always seemed to cling to his sleeves. Normally, that smell made my stomach flip in a good way. Now it just made it twist tighter.
âYou didnât even look at me at dinner yesterday,â I said, my voice rising just enough to betray the ache behind it. The memory flashed in my mind: the long Gryffindor table, plates piled high with pumpkin pasties and roast potatoes, my laughter fading as Iâd watched the back of his head over at the Slytherin table. Heâd laughed at Theoâs joke and leaned in when Enzo nudged him, but his eyes had never once drifted toward where I sat.
He finally glanced at me, just a flicker of eye contact, brief and guarded, like he was checking to make sure I wasnât about to cause a scene. âThatâs because I was tired,â he insisted, his jaw tightening again as he looked away.
âMattheoâŠâ I breathed, his name catching in my throat like a spell mispronounced. âYouâre my boyfriend. You canât just act like I donât exist.â
The word boyfriend tasted different on my tongue now. Once it had been sweet and exhilarating, like licking sugar off my fingers. Now it felt fragile, like glass I was afraid would shatter if I held it too tightly.
His shoulders stiffened, the line of his back going rigid. He turned fully toward me now, his eyes dark and unreadable, walls sliding into place behind them as neatly as a locked door.
âI didnât say I was acting like that,â he said, his voice taut like a string pulled too tight. Every word sounded like it cost him something.
âYou literally did,â I said, softer now, the fight draining from my tone even though the hurt stayed. My arms dropped to my sides, my fingers twitching with the urge to reach for him, to curl my hand into the front of his robes and force him to look at me properly. âIf somethingâs wrong, tell me. Please.â
The plea slipped out before I could stop it. I hated how small it made me sound, how needy. But the thought of just accepting this, of pretending I didnât notice him slipping further away, was worse.
He stared at the floor, at a crack running through the stone between us, as if it were the most interesting thing in the castle. The torchlight above us cast sharp angles across his face, shadowing his eyes and hollowing his cheeks just a little. His lashes cast dark crescents on his skin, and he looked tired, more tired than heâd admit.
âI told you, Iâm fine.â
âYouâre not fine,â I whispered, stepping into his space and shrinking the gap between us until I could feel the heat of his body through our robes. My heart hammered against my ribs, each beat a panicked knock. âYou havenât been fine for days. You barely talk to me anymore. You sit next to me and it feels like youâre miles away.â
He inhaled, a sharp, subtle breath, but didnât look up.
âI said Iâm fine,â he snapped, the irritation finally surfacing in his voice, raw and defensive. The words cracked around the edges like thin ice.
A few students slowed as they passed, darting quick, curious glances our way before hurrying on, like they were afraid of getting pulled into the gravity of whatever was happening between us.
I swallowed hard, the back of my throat burning. Part of me wanted to push harder and force the truth out of him. Another part of me wanted to retreat and protect what little I had left of my pride. Instead, something halfway between the two slipped out.
âAre we still going to the Halloween party together?â I asked, my voice tentative and fragile, like I was holding out a peace offering wrapped in thin, crinkling paper.
The question felt stupid the second it left my mouth, small and trivial compared to the storm churning in my chest. But it was something solid, something weâd talked about weeks ago when things were easier, when planning costumes and sneaking extra butterbeer had seemed like the biggest things weâd have to worry about.
Students passed us in clusters, their laughter and chatter echoing off the high ceilings. Someone nearby was excitedly describing their costume and mentioned fake fangs, so probably a vampire, while another complained about Slughornâs latest essay. All of it felt distant and muffled, like I was underwater.
âYes,â Mattheo replied, his tone clipped and sharp enough to slice through my fragile attempt at warmth.
I nodded, forcing a small smile that barely reached my lips. I could feel it wobbling there, unsure of itself. âOkay⊠good.â The words tasted hollow.
âYeah,â he said again, but his eyes still werenât on me. They flicked toward the far end of the hall, unfocused, like he was already somewhere else, somewhere I wasnât invited. His jaw stayed tight, his hands shoved deeper into his pockets, his shoulders hunched forward like he was bracing for a storm I couldnât see.
The realization that maybe the storm was me settled like lead in my stomach.
âMattheoâŠâ I began, his name trembling on my tongue, carrying all the questions I was too afraid to ask out loud. Do you still want me? Did I do something? Are you already halfway gone?
He turned slightly, just enough to show heâd heard me, but not enough to really face me. The half-angle of his body screamed distance.
âI have to go,â he said abruptly, his voice low and final, like a door closing with a soft, irrevocable click.
I blinked, caught off guard even though I shouldnâtâve been. âBut⊠we have Potions next,â I said, confusion threading through my words as I took a half step toward him. My hand lifted a fraction, as if to catch his sleeve, then fell uselessly back to my side.
âI know. Iâll see you there,â he muttered, already walking away. His footsteps were quick and uneven against the stone floor, the heels of his shoes striking a hurried rhythm that didnât match the slow, heavy drag of my heartbeat.
He didnât look back.
I stood there, frozen in place as the crowd moved around me, parting and reforming like a river flowing around a rock. Robes brushed against my arms, someoneâs bag bumped my shoulder, and a first-year muttered an apology and scurried past, but it all felt far away, like it was happening in another corridor entirely.
My stomach twisted, a slow, sinking ache blooming in my chest and spreading like spilled ink. I pressed my lips together and swallowed down the sting behind my eyes. Crying in the corridor between classes was not on my to-do list today.
I watched his back retreat into the crowd, the familiar shape of him swallowed by shadows and noise until he was just another dark robe in a sea of them. The distance between us wasnât measured in steps anymore, but in all the things he wasnât saying.
As he disappeared around the corner, I couldnât shake the feeling that I was watching something unravel, something I didnât know how to mend, something I didnât know how to hold onto anymore, no matter how tightly I tried to grip it.
---
The clatter of cauldrons and the low murmur of voices greeted me as I stepped into the dimly lit Potions classroom. Brass scales clicked, knives thudded against wooden boards, and somewhere to my left, a cauldron hissed as its contents boiled over and was quickly doused with a muttered curse. The familiar scent of herbs, smoke, and simmering ingredients usually felt grounding, like routine, like safety. Today, it pressed down on my chest, thick and suffocating, as if the tension from earlier had followed me in and settled over my shoulders like an extra robe.
Candles hovered in iron brackets along the stone walls, their flames burning low and flickering, throwing long shadows across shelves lined with dusty jars. Pickled roots, shriveled plants, and cloudy vials seemed to watch me as I moved through the rows of worktables. The dungeon was cooler than the corridors outside, but there was a humid warmth clinging to the air around the cauldrons that made the back of my neck damp.
Mattheo was already at his usual spot near the back, hunched over his cauldron. The silver stirring rod moved in his hand with precise, mechanical circles, never faltering. His sleeves were rolled up, forearms tense, the muscles in his jaw clenched so tightly I could see the faint twitch near his temple. His dark curls fell forward, shadowing his eyes, but even from where I stood, I could tell he wasnât looking at anything except the thick, swirling potion in front of him.
He didnât look up. Not when I entered, not when I passed his table. It was like Iâd become another bottle on the shelf: background, irrelevant, easy to ignore.
A dull ache settled in my chest.
I sank into my seat across from him, trying to move casually, like I didnât feel that ache, like the knot in my stomach wasnât tightening with every second he refused to acknowledge me. My hands shook just enough that I had to place them flat on the table, pressing my palms against the worn wood until the slight tremor stopped. I focused on the neat little piles of ingredients already laid out for the lesson: bundles of dried valerian sprigs, pale chunks of moonstone, vials of something viscous and amber. Anything to keep from staring at the way his shoulders were set like stone.
He used to smirk when I walked in. Roll his eyes, make some sly comment under his breath that made it impossible not to smile, even when I was annoyed with him. Now there was nothing. Just the soft, relentless scrape of his stirring rod against the side of the cauldron.
âY/n,â a quiet voice said beside me.
I blinked and turned. Theo slid onto the bench next to me, his robes rustling softly. His expression was wary, his brows drawn together, his gaze flicking from my face to Mattheo and back again. His presence was a small anchor in the swirling anxiety that had been grinding away in my chest all morning.
âYou look⊠stressed,â he murmured, keeping his voice low, like even the word might set something off. âEverything okay with Mattheo?â
My throat felt tight. I swallowed and ran a hand through my hair, my fingers tangling briefly before I let my head fall back a little and stared up at the soot-stained ceiling. The candles overhead swayed slightly in a draft, their light trembling the way I felt inside.
âI donât know, Theo,â I said, dropping my gaze to the potions ingredients in front of me. The words tasted bitter. âHeâs acting so weird. He wonât talk to me, and I canât figure out why.â My voice dipped, quieter. âHave you noticed?â
Theoâs jaw flexed. He glanced toward Mattheoâs back, then quickly away, like even looking too long was dangerous.
âOkayâŠâ he said slowly, shifting closer until his shoulder brushed mine. I felt the slight pressure, grounding but tense. âBut youâve got to promise me something first.â
A prickle of unease crawled up my spine. I straightened, my brows knitting together.
âPromise what?â I asked, frowning.
âThat youâll stay quiet about this.â His eyes were steady on mine now, serious in a way that made my pulse pick up. âNo one can know.â
I could hear the soft bubbling of Mattheoâs cauldron in the background, the scrape of quills, the occasional clink of glass. But all of it faded for a moment, swallowed by the sharp awareness of Theoâs words.
I nodded immediately, almost too fast.
âI promise,â I said, the answer coming from the knot of worry that had been lodged in my chest for days. âJust tell me whatâs going on.â
Theo hesitated, chewing on the inside of his cheek. Up close, I could see the faint shadows under his eyes, the tiredness that came from late nights and too many secrets. He leaned in until I could feel the warmth of his breath against my ear, his voice dropping to a whisper.
âMattheo got into it at practice the other day,â he murmured. âWith someone from another house, one of the Ravenclaws.â
My heart stumbled. The tension in my shoulders spiked. Mattheo in a fight was nothing new, but the way Theoâs mouth tightened made it clear this wasnât one of his usual scuffles.
âBasically, there was a fight,â Theo continued. âThat guy said something really bad about you.â
My stomach dropped like Iâd missed a step on the moving staircase. All the air seemed to thin out around me.
âSomething bad about me?â I repeated, my voice coming out tighter than I meant it to. I tried to swallow, but my mouth had gone dry.
Theo nodded grimly, his gaze flicking over my shoulder again toward Mattheo before returning to me.
âYeah. And then, this is the worst part, the guy told Mattheo you could easily get way better.â He grimaced slightly at the words, like even repeating them left a bad taste on his tongue. âAnd you know how he is. That set him off completely.â
My fingers curled around the edge of the table, my nails biting into the wood. Heat rose to my face: anger, embarrassment, and something else I didnât want to name. My mind raced with a dozen questions, a hundred possible insults, each one sharper than the last.
Heâd fought because of me.
I blinked, my vision going a little fuzzy around the edges as I tried to process what heâd just said.
âHe got angry because of something that guy said? About me?â It felt unreal, like I was asking about someone elseâs life.
Theo sighed and dragged a hand through his hair, making it stand up in uneven tufts.
âYeah,â he said quietly. âHe didnât want you to hear, or anyone, really. Heâs trying to protect you, but I think it just made him pull away even more.â His mouth twisted with something like frustration. âHeâs still upset. Thatâs why heâs been so cold. He doesnât want to talk about it.â
I stared at the faint scratches etched into the tabletop between us, tracing one with my fingertip as my chest tightened. Relief and sadness crashed over me at the same time, leaving me off balance.
âSo itâs not me,â I said slowly, like I needed to hear the words out loud to believe them. âI didnât do anything wrong?â
âNo,â Theo said firmly, leaning in to catch my gaze. His eyes were steady, unflinching. âItâs not you. But you need to be careful how you approach him. Right now, heâs volatile.â His gaze flicked back to Mattheoâs rigid shoulders. âIf you push, heâll shut down even more.â
The word volatile sat heavy in my mind. I thought of Mattheoâs temper, the way it burned hot and bright, how quickly it could harden into ice. Iâd seen him angry before, at professors, at other students, at the world, but not like this. Not this quiet, controlled distance that felt worse than being yelled at.
I nodded slowly, biting my lip hard enough to sting.
âOkay,â I breathed. My chest ached with the need to fix it, to say something, to make him look at me again like I mattered. âI just⊠I want him to be okay.â
âHe will be,â Theo said softly, though his eyes were still serious, shadows of doubt lurking there. âJust give him time. And remember, what you just heard stays between us.â
âGot it,â I whispered, the word barely audible. I let my gaze slip back to Mattheo from the corner of my eye.
He was still stirring his potion, his movements flawless, controlled, too controlled. His shoulders were tense beneath his Slytherin robes, his posture rigid. Every so often, his jaw clenched, and I could see the muscle jumping under his skin. Steam curled up from his cauldron, catching the low candlelight and haloing his profile, but there was nothing soft about him. He looked like a storm bottled in glass, one wrong word away from shattering.
Professor Snapeâs voice droned on at the front of the classroom, explaining something about infusion times and the dangers of over-steeping lacewing flies, but the words slid past me like water. My quill lay untouched beside my open textbook, ink pooling slowly at the tip.
The rest of class blurred into a haze of motions I barely registered: chopping ingredients, stirring clockwise, counterclockwise, counting under my breath. My hands worked almost on autopilot, following instructions Iâd done a dozen times before, while my mind stayed fixed on the boy across from me.
Every tiny movement he made felt significant. The way his fingers tightened around the stirring rod. The way he inhaled sharply when a nearby cauldron popped too loudly. The way his eyes stayed stubbornly on the potion, never flicking up to meet mine, not even for a second. It was like there was an invisible wall between us now, one I hadnât agreed to, one I didnât know how to break.
I wanted to reach across the desk, to brush my hand against his, to say something stupid and gentle, anything to crack that cold distance. To remind him he didnât have to carry all of this alone. But Theoâs warning, volatile, echoed in my head, a low, insistent pulse.
Mattheo was hurting.
And somehow, I had to sit here, breathing in the thick potion fumes and the faint scent of his cologne, pretending to focus on my brew while my heart beat too fast and my chest felt too tight. I had to wait, and watch, and hope that when he was ready, heâd let me in.
If he was still mine to be let into at all.
When Snape finally dismissed us with a curt wave of his hand, chairs scraped back and students hurried toward the door in a clumsy shuffle of robes and muttered complaints. My pulse jumped, my throat suddenly dry. This was my chance, maybe to say his name, to ask if we could talk, to just hear his voice directed at me again.
Mattheo extinguished the flame beneath his cauldron with a flick of his wand, cleaned up his station with brisk, efficient movements, and gathered his things without once glancing in my direction. For a heartbeat, I thought he might look up. I held my breath.
He didnât.
He walked past me, the faint brush of air from his movement lifting a strand of my hair. The smell of smoke and something uniquely him lingered in his wake. My fingers twitched on the tabletop, itching to reach out, to catch his sleeve, to stop him.
I stayed still.
Theoâs hand landed lightly on my arm, a gentle squeeze.
âGive him time,â he murmured.
My chest ached as I watched Mattheo disappear through the dungeon doorway without a backward glance.
Time, I thought bitterly, gathering my things with numb fingers. Time was the one thing Hogwarts had taught me could change everything, and not always for the better.
And I didnât know how much more distance I could take before it broke something in me I couldnât fix.
---
The next morning, we were in Potions again. The last chime of the bell echoed through the stone corridors of Hogwarts, and students began filing out of the classroom in restless waves. Cloaks rustled, chairs scraped against the stone floor, and the air still smelled sharply of asphodel and burnt nettles.
I stayed seated, fingers curled around the edge of the desk, letting the crowd thin. My stomach was knotted so tightly it almost hurt, a cold, heavy weight pressing beneath my ribs. I could feel the dull thud of my heartbeat in my throat.
Mattheo was at the far side of the room, packing his bag with quick, efficient movements. He didnât slam anything or make a scene. He was careful, almost too careful, like he was holding himself together by force. His dark hair fell over his forehead as he bent over the table, and not once did his gaze flick in my direction. It was like I wasnât even there.
Heâd been like that since the other day: present, but distant. Sitting next to me in class without really being next to me. Answering when I spoke, but never saying more than he had to. It felt like trying to talk through a locked door.
A few last students hurried past me, voices overlapping. Someone laughed too loudly, someone complained about Slughornâs homework. The torches along the dungeon walls flickered, casting long, wavering shadows across the flagstones. When the room was mostly empty, I pushed myself to my feet and wiped my damp palms on my robes.
Donât be a coward, I scolded myself, even as a small, terrified part of me whispered that maybe I should just leave it alone. But the sight of him, shoulders tense and expression shuttered, hurt more than the fear did.
I took a slow breath, then another, trying to steady the shaking in my hands. My boots were quiet against the cold floor as I crossed the room. The closer I got, the more aware I became of everything: the faint hum of magic in the dungeon walls, the distant sound of laughter from some upper corridor, the coppery taste of nerves on my tongue.
âMattheo,â I said softly.
He stiffened at the sound of my voice, pausing mid-motion. His hand froze around the strap of his bag. For a second, he didnât turn, and panic clawed up my spine. Then he straightened slowly.
âYeah?â he said. His tone was guarded, neutral, smooth in a way that felt wrong on him, like a mask pulled too tight. It was the same voice he used on teachers, on people who didnât matter. A wall, solid and cold, between us.
âI⊠I know youâre upset about⊠the other day,â I began, forcing the words out carefully, afraid that if I rushed them Iâd say something wrong. âTheo told me what happened.â
For a heartbeat, every line of him went still. His fingers tightened on the worn leather strap until his knuckles went white. His jaw clenched hard, a muscle ticking near his temple. His eyes flicked to mine, but only for the briefest flash, dark and guarded, before he tore them away and stared at the floor instead.
âYou shouldnât have to hear that,â he muttered, his voice low and rough around the edges.
The way he said it, like it was something dirty, something that might stain me just by being spoken, made my chest ache.
âI know,â I said, taking a careful step closer. The space between us felt like a line I wasnât sure I was allowed to cross. âBut I want to. I want to know so I can⊠help, if I can.â My voice shook on the last word, and I swallowed hard, hoping he didnât hear it.
He ran a hand through his hair, his fingers tangling briefly in the dark curls before he let it drop again. He let out a sharp breath, the sound halfway between a sigh and a scoff, clearly frustrated with me, with himself, with everything.
âI donât need help,â he said. The words came out sharper than he seemed to intend, and the sound of them made my heart jolt. But almost immediately, his shoulders dropped a fraction, and when he spoke again, his tone softened. âI just⊠I was tired and angry. Thatâs all.â
âYou were angry,â I repeated gently, tasting the word, âbut not at me, right?â I hated how small my voice sounded, how exposed that question made me feel. I shouldnât have needed the reassurance, but I did.
He stiffened again, his jaw tightening like he was grinding the words into shape before letting them out.
âNo,â he said. âDefinitely not at you.â
The certainty in his voice loosened something tight in my chest. I stepped closer, close enough now to see the faint shadows under his eyes and the pale tightness around his mouth. He looked exhausted. Haunted.
âThen⊠let me be here. For you,â I said quietly, lowering my voice as if the dungeon walls might be listening. âEven if you donât want to talk. Even if youâre upset. I donât care if youâre mad or quiet or whatever. I just⊠donât want to lose you over this.â
The last part came out rawer than I meant it to, and for a second I wished I could take it back, wished I could pretend I was cooler, less affected. But it was too late. The words hung between us, heavy and honest.
Mattheo finally looked at me, really looked. His eyes met mine and didnât immediately slide away. There was so much there it almost hurt to see it: anger, yes, but not at me; guilt, sharp and ugly; something like fear; and beneath all of it, a flicker of something softer that he seemed desperate to smother.
For a heartbeat, I thought he might say something more, something real. His lips parted, his fingers flexed on the strap of his bag. The tension in the air coiled tighter, buzzing just under my skin.
But then his shoulders hunched in on themselves and the moment collapsed. His gaze dropped again.
âI⊠I canât just talk about it. Not yet,â he admitted quietly. His voice was barely above a whisper, but the words landed with solid weight.
I nodded, even though he wasnât looking at me, and forced a small, understanding smile onto my face that he probably couldnât see. âOkay,â I said, my throat tight. âIâll wait. I promise.â
He gave a small, almost imperceptible nod, like he was afraid even that much agreement might be too much. Then he swung his bag over his shoulder, the worn leather creaking in the silence.
âAre we⊠still going to the Halloween party?â he asked. His tone was cautious and careful, like one wrong word might crack whatever fragile thing weâd just managed to hold together. There was an uncertainty there that I wasnât used to hearing from him, Mattheo, who always seemed so sure and sharp-edged.
âYes,â I said, and this time my smile felt a little more real. The image of the Great Hall decked out in floating pumpkins and dancing ghosts flashed through my mind: warmth, light, laughter. A future moment where maybe this wouldnât hurt so much. âWeâre still going. Together.â
He gave a tight-lipped nod, but his expression didnât soften. His eyes darted past me toward the doorway, like he was already halfway gone.
âGood,â he muttered. The word was clipped, almost emotionless, and before I could say anything else, he turned and strode away, his footsteps echoing down the dim corridor.
I watched him go, my chest twisting. Each step he took seemed to pull an invisible thread between us tighter and tighter until I was sure it would snap. Part of me wanted to run after him, to grab his sleeve and drag him back, to demand that he let me in. But my feet stayed rooted to the cold stone.
The dungeon felt strangely empty without him, even though studentsâ voices still drifted faintly in from the corridor. A draft slipped through the open doorway, raising goosebumps along my arms.
He was still distant, still wrapped in his own storm, unreachable behind walls I didnât know how to break down. But at least now I understood why the distance was there, and I knew, really knew, that I was willing to wait for him to let me cross it.
For now, that had to be enough. I clung to that thought like a charm against the creeping fear that it might never be.
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Would you all like a cute, fluffy part two of the Halloween party, maybe where the guy comes up and says something rude about Y/n again, and it sends Mattheo into a jealous rage? Itâs totally up to you!