Amazible

Okay, so you’re probably wondering “Em, where have you been? It’s been months! Are you okay??”

Short answer: ye i’m fine lol i’ve got a new blog @mimzylee see ya over there

Long Answer: I just got super tired of this blog. I’m aware that this one has a ton more followers, which is great! But it kind of felt like I was in a rut where it seems like all I’m kind of allowed to do here is reblog A+ content and never release any of my own. I mean sure, I could’ve started over, kept my follower count and all of that in the beginning, but I felt like I really needed a change rather than just my form of content. 

ava-dakedavra was created by 14 yr old Em, and we’ve had a good few years here, but the vibe here is totally different than how 21 yr old Em feels now. Do you like to be reminded of the person you were 8 years ago? Nope. I’ll probably get to 29 and cringe by the person I am now. It’s just how life works.

Also, I’m aiming for @mimzylee to be about 90% my stuff and 10% meme/fandom related. I’m working on webcomics now! My own art! Even my own YouTube channel! I’m even working on a ton of cool things that I haven’t announced yet!! And I guess I just feel like I can’t really do that on this blog. I hope you understand. 

I’m keeping this blog alive rather than deactivated purely for nostalgic purposes. Mainly for the few things I have tagged, and to see my growth. 

Thanks so much for understanding! I’ll see you on my new blog!

Love,

I actually kind of miss the person I was at 14, too. She’s worth knowing as well, just like you. Just like me.

It’s weird how much changes and stays the same. Where your energy is spent compared to how you want to spend it, and how they never seem to coincide. It’s kind of exhausting, no matter how much or little sleep you get.

Maybe by 37.

We’ll see.

Love,

Hey everyone. I’ve hit a rough patch - a really, really rough patch.

I have only a few days (until 5/4/18) to secure a job and/or apartment or I have to move back in with my parents (very, very far from ideal - I can’t spend another summer with my mom. I don’t think my mental health would survive, let alone me). I thought that I would be renting with a couple of friends, but that fell through without warning today, and now my mom is upset with me (it’s not my fault, not by a long shot) and demanding that I have everything sorted within the next couple of days or I have to come home. 

So, I’m opening up commissions/donations out of desperation. I’ve never done this before, so bear with me.

Fandoms

Star Wars (movies/cartoons)

Harry Potter/FBAWTFT

Marvel

Stranger Things

LotR/Hobbit

ATLA/LoK

RT/AH

Buzzfeed Unsolved

Original Fiction

I Will Not Write Pedophilia or Rape/NonCon

I Can Write Smut/Fluff/Angst/Character Death/Graphic Violence/etc.

Here is my AO3 for writing samples

Please contact me on tumblr or through tumblr messenger for prices. I’m still working them out, I’m very sorry.

If you’d like to just make a donation, this is my ko-fi page.

me, knowing full well that there’s no way I will be alive by then:

So I am still in denial of Infinity war because I want to see them happy… 

Mulan sits in the rain underneath the statue of the Great Stone Dragon (who is looking down on her), and suddenly decides on a course of action. She looks up, resolved to go to war in place of her father and runs into the temple where she lights the match and beseeches protection for her family. The stone she bows to and that we see lit up by lightening strike is that of the dragon, whose eyes are looking out after her, lit from underneath by the candles. The scene transitions to the divider in the house that also has an icon of the dragon. where she replaces her hair comb with the summons. Then we see the sword hilt, also the dragon, and as she draws the blade we see her face replace it. She ties up her hair, then as she opens the wardrobe, the handles are also the dragon. After donning the armor, the view shows her facing us, with the hilt of the sword (the face of the dragon) in front of her face, where she then turns the sword to reveal her face, and sheaths it. As she leaves, we flash back to the temple, and the eyes of the dragon flash as her grandmother wakes up.

“water’s gonna fill your lungs”

“sales on mazdas!”

“that’s not a ghost, that’s metal”

“the sky belongs to men”

“how dare they dispose of my body!”

“my mom took some hard steel to the noggin, and then I popped out" 

“this just in, more skulls crushed! wha-oh! throw out your axes!“ 

"that’ll get ‘em. time to go murder again" 

"well you know what I’ll do is, I’ll shoot you!”

“put your hands on my SHOULDERS!” 

“they chuted him. he done got chuted”

“I brought some cocktail weenies”

“this is like…. satan’s cement butthole”

“Janet we left the- we left the b- our boy was in that box!“ 

“a little seamen lubrication?”

”- and was like oooaaaaAAAAH" 

“you think he screamed like r2d2? [screams like r2d2]“ 

“I STOLE THEM OFF A WOMAN WHO DIED ON THE TITANIC!!!”

"Five hundred real dollars? I- I could go to Disneyland with that kinda money!" 

“put that cat down!”

"My murder laptop" 

“we get it with the bats”

"let me spin you a yarn you shan’t soon forget: I’m being eaten alive by crabs right now" 

“… I love a duck”

“I’m gonna make creaks!”

"I’m sorry you have no culture”

“I’m itching for the tables”

it’s the age of the internet and our empathy is evolving. yes, isn’t long-distance now so easy. there’s a lot we have to be thankful for.

but there’s a lot that’s changing. there’s no words for the emotion you feel when someone is taking a picture with you that you know is only happening because they want to look fun and popular and you’re a prop; there’s no word for when you know it’s because you’re uglier than them and it makes them look good - there’s no word for watching people socialize for social media credit. we know it happens. not just “hang on let me take a picture of my food.” not just “i’ve got to text my mom back, one sec.” i mean that strange distance between two people who comment on each other’s posts but cannot connect in person. i mean you pour out your soul on twitter but then clam up in person. i mean internet loneliness; the sensation of 212 thousand followers and still so empty, knowing if the plane goes down, the ocean of the internet will wash out your memory. 

“i want a friend date,” she says, and he snorts - you mean friends?

it’s hard, sometimes. finding a best friend. when i was little i had an assignment about it. i remember crying in the hallway because i didn’t have one. everyone else in class did. i wrote about my shadow. i didn’t fit in. over the years i’ve had a couple. one turned out pure evil. a few were my best friend but i wasn’t theirs, in the end. a lot just drifted from me until we were only friends by nostalgia, not connection. but i ached for the feeling of a best friend the whole time: the person you can be silent with, the person you can be wild with, the person you can be 100% yourself with.

we live in a society where romance is said to be the only space you’re allowed to really be close with someone. how many of us have said to make sure you marry your best friend. we know from dating that there exists a kind of connection we don’t always get in our friends - even a platonic one, a connection of spirit, a freedom of behavior. 

i get it. a platonic date sounds wonderful. it’s not hurting anybody. let’s both have three seconds where we’re honest with each other in a raw kind of way. it’s terrifying. or we could just talk about what’s bothering you. i’m also still fucked up about the avatar: the last airbender ending; i also don’t get katara and aang. 

it’s about trust. about vulnerability. so yeah. maybe i’ve done all kinds of platonic-date things. but i’ve also had the opposite happen: the non-friend. someone you don’t want to cut out, not necessarily - but not someone you can tell your secrets to in the end. i think what we’re all asking for is to be less lonely. we want to get close to people, but we don’t want to seem like we’re hitting on somebody. 

let me tell you guys something that ACTUALLY happened in my screenwriting class last week

one of the female writers in our class is writing a feature about this gang of teenage girls who sort of become vigilantes and murder men who harass women (that’s a shitty logline of it but it’s actually fucking awesome and highly stylized and over-exaggerated like tarantino in a good way bc i fucking hate tarantino). ANYWAY their first kill is this guy named taylor. taylor is one of the girl’s boyfriends. it is heavily implied and the writer confirmed that he abuses and rapes her. not explicitly seen, but she has bruises, there are scenes implying it etc.

so. she wrote the part where they kill taylor. and one of my professor’s comments was about how he felt like he didn’t hate taylor enough.

to which me and my female friend were like um what?? we hate him. he fucking raped and abused her. wE HATE HIM. HE IS A HORRIBLE PERSON.

and my prof was like well yeah i hate him but i don’t HATE hate him. and we argued about it. so he took a poll of who hated taylor. ALL of the girls in the class raised their hands. none of the boys did. when he asked who didn’t hate taylor all of the men raised their hands. and me and my friend started laughing because of COURSE they did.

and my prof was like why are you laughing and the writer was like “i think they’re laughing at the gender difference in that answer” and my prof was like “well, from my male perspective, i don’t think i’m being sexist”

WHAT.

first of all did you hear that sentence at ALL do you understand how paradoxical it is?????

second of all, no. just no.

and then my prof went on to say “i feel like we need to see taylor be horrible. like bad solution, he kicks a dog”

evidently a man can abuse and rape a girl and not be hated, but if he kicks a dog then he’s PURE EVIL