🌲🦌❄️🌾Canuck⛄🍁🐻🌅

Sasori is a 35-year-old college or university art teacher of some sort in this scenario. While Sasori would more than likely be a wood carving art teacher, he and Deidara need to be in the same class for my idea to work. Deidara would not go into woodworking, he probably would not go into painting, and while he would go into sculpting it is not the finality in his art education or art interests, and Sasori would not (set foot in) teach in any art class that expresses non-traditional views on art. They might find each other in a class that is predominantly live art or performance art, for example. 25 years old is an appropriate age for Deidara to be eventually involved with 35-year-old Sasori. At least one university or college kicked Deidara out or rejected him before he found somewhere that would accept him, so that is another reason why he is 25 years old here. Places of education (and work) do communicate with each other after all.

Deidara is the student that never sculpts, paints, or generally creates what the teacher has assigned the class. Deidara’s argument is his talent and skill, what he has to offer, already exceeds the assignment before him. He can draw, sketch, is detailed, and he knows his anatomy fairly well, but to him he is wasting his time in things (the art assignments from Sasori) that only pertain to what he considers the building blocks (how to draw an egg) to his current talent and interests; he knows the techniques and lessons already. To Deidara there is no point on going back to basics and training from the ground up since he is ignoring what he can already do, while Sasori wants him to obey the rules and pay attention. (In naruto verse, Deidara would have amazing spatial recognition and awareness considering he creates appropriately sized bombs and knows how to direct his birds to fly. This carries over into this AU and so it is another talent of his.) Sasori is not trying to force his ideas of art onto Deidara(okay maybe somewhat); he wants to teach Deidara all that he, Sasori, knows from the ground all the way up. (A teacher is supposed to do that anyways as well as expand ways of thinking beyond what they know.)

Sasori would be a strict teacher too, “I’m taking points off your grade for this. Do not waste my time with frivolity.”, which would embitter Deidara in return. Sasori’s nickname for Deidara is “brat” (as the shippers, fans, and fandom seems to have decided), or “kid”. Deidara’s nickname for Sasori is something like “puppet” or “wooden boy” because to Deidara, Sasori is a puppet of mainstream (accepted by the public), and mass-produced art “with no soul” even though much of Sasori’s works are quite the opposite; so far Deidara won’t admit this to Sasori but will to himself. Galleries have refused to show Sasori in fear of public protest. Deidara also thinks Sasori is so “wooden” = tasteless personality.

One day in class they get into this huge argument about art and it’s meaning, and what is real art, when one of them challenges the other to go with them to an art show. It is not at all seen as a date at this point.

They go, and they fight, and they bicker, and they argue the entire time, though the food and whatever else is had during the time is enjoyed. Eventually it ends, but neither of them really wants it to end because they still need to finish some discussion or argument. There are still things to go over. It still is not seen as a date at this point. The days after they went to the art show are rife with (sometimes quiet) hostility.

Things get livelier back in class between Sasori and Deidara as they get into (sometimes loud) heated discussions about historically influential artists, where those artists came from and grew up in relation to their influences, the circles those artists ran in and the like, and their legacies. (Neither Deidara or Sasori really realize at which point they end up fighting about art. The phrase “Don’t let them get to you” does not work. They both ‘wear their hearts on their sleeves’ about art and these hearts are feverish.) These debates completely dominate the rest of the class into silence once or twice, and few try interjecting; Sasori apologizes to the rest of the class over and over when he notices this, all the while glaring at Dei who is grinning or smirking back.- Sasori sees a chance to properly educate Deidara in ‘what art is’, and takes him on as an apprentice (still, nothing is seen as a date at this point), something Sasori later on notes that he will forever ‘rue’ the day of.

He takes a special interest in Deidara because Deidara is so much the opposite of him and he could be his ‘project’.

Deidara sees Sasori as someone he “will prove wrong”, where Sasori’s attempts to ‘properly educate’ Deidara will fail.

Soon they are spending a lot of time together, and those last two sentences above are what starts to create a relationship, not exactly feelings of romantic attraction at first, but it grows something new. Neither one knows when it was they actually started dating. They may or may not change the nicknames or get rid of them altogether.

Below this line of asterisks is the more sexual stuff about their relationship in its developments. Seeing as how I have a keep reading/read more break line in this post, I can freely add more as time goes on.

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Although they fight, argue, debate, and discuss art, their equally intense passion, dedication, and love for it are an extreme source of attraction and outright lust between them. Intimacy between them can and will often get loud, and both have ended up with slight bruising and scratches or bite marks. Both give as good as they get with each other, be it for better or worse.

The first things they noticed about each other that turned them on. The very first thought Sasori had about Deidara was to appreciate what he was looking at.. and then lament what he was missing and wonder what his body looked like. Sas first noticed Deidara’s beauty; how incredible and right down the middle of sexes his androgyny is. Before they got involved, Sasori was adamant to never letting Deidara know that he wanted to sculpt and paint Dei and especially by how much.

Deidara on the other hand took longer to notice certain things about Sasori. The first thing that turned him on was the authority with which he handled his class. The next, was the intensity Sasori always had when working on his art whether or not he was teaching a class. Deidara ended up nibbling on the end of his pencil watching Sasori’s hands and face, and then broke the pencil when those eyes landed on him.

(This blog is deactivated, but this is/was the link to the original post and I have copied and pasted the headcanon exactly as it appeared.) https://spiralswords.tumblr.com/post/129885434594/pretty-sure-that-deidaras-sexualityromantic spiralswords tumblr com post 129885434594 pretty sure that deidaras sexualityromantic

pretty sure that Deidara’s sexuality/romantic inclination is

anything that makes him feel that WHAZH- like. like. ANYTHING THAT. that feeling. that MOMENT THAT PASSIONATE FLASH. that.

that BOOM that. MOMENT. THAT. INTENSE FEELING, SO MUCH PACKED INTO ONE ENCOUNTER, ONE INTERACTION, ONE TRUTH, ONE SHARD OF REALITY THAT MOVES ON INTO NOTHINGNESS AND MEMORY NEXT. SO VIVID EVEN IN MEMORY UNTIL EVEN THAT DISSOLVES. UNTO THE NEXT TRANSIENT {INSERT FITTING SOUND EFFECT HERE} EVENT.

just. c’mon. damn.

thatguywouldliveforrollercoastersandbungeejumpingirlc’mon

like i don’t think he’d even need to feel interested in sex to want to have sex. I mean he needn’t be sexual for it. It could be the. the IT. the. THAT ^^^^ STUFF. There’s so much, and such diverse things to be said for deidara. 

WHY WOULD HE BE LINEAR. like why would a person like Deidara be locked in by a single or even many labels, like.

what do you mean, i only get to choose from a set stock- no way man. ANYTHING THAT MAKES ME FEEL IT.

like that. I personally feel like it’s like that. <3

(I took some stuff out so it is just Deidara and Sasori.) http://akatsuki-complex.tumblr.com/post/145082489065/not-necessarily-draw-but-can-you-tell-us-some-nsfw akatsuki-complex tumblr com post 145082489065 not necessarily draw but can you tell us some nsfw

Anonymous Ask something: Not necessarily draw but can you tell us some nsfw headcanons, if you have any, about each Akatsuki member?

ok as I said before, I know jack shit about sex but I’ll give you some that i can think of

-Deidara is extremely loud and his goal is to try every position existing

-Sasori likes to look at the face of his partner at all times during the do

-All of them have, or have had porn in their rooms (picture’s magazines, etc) but the porn on Itachi’s room is not his

-There are four dildos in the complex, none of them belong to Konan

-Sasori is into bondage and lolita dresses or suits (aka dressing up like dolls)

He would gravitate towards dolls first because they are similar to puppets in most ways. He would stay with dolls for a longer period before moving on to puppets because in a ‘normal earth world’ AU you are not raised into battle and you can enjoy your childhood. In the manga and t.v. show, children (easily) learn certain abilities as a result of:

1. chakra 2. Parental, peer, financial, and societal pressure that pushes them towards soldiership and other kinds of military service >this point is a joke>3. japanese children seem to have the superhuman ability to save the world before they're even trusted as licensed drivers.<this point is a joke<

but Sasori will not have chakra in an AU, and he will not be encouraged towards a life in battle. He has no immediate reason to build, know, manipulate, and research the intricate mechanisms of puppets, machinery, and weaponry before he is even 10 years old. He would still turn to dolls first even if he far exceeds the average IQ, but he might not stay with them for as long.

While one would typically do this when playing with dolls anyway, I want to bring up the topic of little manga and anime-verse or AU Sasori dressing them up. He would make little clothes for them as well, and name them as well as create their personalities and relationships. I do not think he would like stuffed or plushie dolls though, like those cabbage patch dolls. Maybe he had one at one point, but the dolls he likes best are the ones that are more realistic and that he can position. He might have liked plastic ones just as much as wooden dolls, except wooden dolls are more durable. He would have fun painting both types.

I also imagine Sasori entertained himself by combining different doll parts with others to create new kinds. He enjoyed sketching his dolls and these creations out on paper.

Hoppspindel and I have talked about this to each other before:

In Alternate Universe (AU) stories and fanfictions, while Kakuzu is often portrayed as rather affluent in his choice of living space, we do not see it as true to his character. For example, based on what canon there is Kakuzu enjoys books, but he isn't a huge spender. It isn’t the prices of books he sees as attractive, it’s just old books, history, knowledge, and education that he likes. He, simply put as the wiki does, likes old and/or rare books. (He would definitely try to get away with stealing a sought after book if it was expensive or cheap enough, unless doing so would pit the small rare, old, and/or used bookstore he’s inside of into bankruptcy or debt.)

Primarily, Kakuzu is a miser. He will hoard his money and refuse to spend any if not much of it. He is extremely logical with his money, and by that I mean he thinks, “I’m not spending money on it if I don’t absolutely need it.” which is similar to his mentality of, “I’m not participating in this if I don’t absolutely need to.” He believes that money can control and manipulate people while being something tangible he can see; for these reasons, it is something that will never let him down and will always serve him. (This means you could replace “money” with almost anything else and Kakuzu would prize it because it would be currency. Therefore, and since you cannot have one without the other, one side of what Kakuzu really cares about instead of coin and cash is currency, and the other half is how people behave around that currency.) Judging by the clothes he wears in shippuden, his backstory, and anytime he shows up he does not splurge on himself. Yes, he is rich, but that doesn’t mean he’ll be spending (too much of) it because to him, “I’m just giving it away to nothing.” He doesn’t think of himself as ‘nothing’ or ‘not worth it’ though. Canonically, he’s just quite frugal, which is a word that means someone who always looks for the best quality version of something that is still cheap. He will always weigh need vs. want, and aside from seeking to acquire more money he generally does not care about how he appears to others with his mode of transportation, clothes, etc.. We can see or presume this in canon. Kakuzu is one of the most experienced shinobi in ‘Naruto’ and part of that is due to age. He knows how to blend in, avoid and evade capture, obscure his appearance, appear non-threatening, and most importantly, counteract sticking out. When he can afford to let his guard down, he still won’t care very much; a 91 year old in naruto-verse canon or this world has lived long enough to know stuff like their jewelry, if they have makeup on, or the paint job of their house or car is not important, or is of little importance concerning how they feel about it versus how other people feel about it.

It is odd that fans imagine Naruto-verse Kakuzu as being stingy, a cheapskate, and not open to spending a little more than the bare minimum on himself or Hidan while on missions or any other time whatsoever, but in AU fanfictions he’s written as having this huge house with all sorts of accessories and riches. It could be advocated that since it’s an AU and not in the war-torn Naruto world that put Kakuzu through so much, he is more easygoing with his money and more likely to spend it. This could work if writing it didn’t shift a whole section of his personality to one side, almost forgetting it. While still being realistic enough for an Earth AU, Kakuzu needs extreme trauma to become a calmer version of himself. His prudence, watchfulness, and calculation over his money never or barely changes since it is tied to his trauma (more on that spread out further down). In defence of those AU’s again, Kakuzu might only act and dress the way he does in the manga and anime to avoid bringing enemy attention or any attention to himself, but I personally don’t think so(because the lone words “I think” don’t seem to be enough for morons online and so everything needs a clear fucking disclaimer). There would be no reason to act and dress like he does all the time. This restrained attitude definitely runs deeper as being part of his personality. Kakuzu’s trauma, or what is known of it in the manga and anime absolutely could be the catalyst for his canon mentality, but I do not even think his taciturnity and such was all conditioned into him over time. Alternatively, he was always likely quiet, reserved, and (maybe a little) asocial. I lean this way on account of what it is to be ‘asocial’.

* * * This part below is less about why Kakuzu would intrinsically not want a lavish lifestyle and more about what I believe to be the root of his reticence.

Keeping in mind that each situation is different and there is no ‘How-to’ manual or guide to predicting each individual animal’s behaviour (humans are animals), ‘asocial’ (at least in humans) is the utter lack of motivation to socialize plus the preference of solitude. This includes online socializing since it is “online socializing”. No, asocial is not something that can be cured. Being alone is an intrinsic value for someone who is asocial. An asocial child can be a happy child. ‘Asocial’ is most definitely not “bad” or “wrong”. Further, an average person may feel it from time to time, but you cannot turn your intrinsic motivations towards being solitary just as you cannot turn them towards being a gregarious and revealing person. Of course yes, you can change the way you think and approach things, altering your own behaviour and connections in your brain or something else altering you (for better or worse), but I’m talking about a deep inner need that pulls you. I am not talking about socializing at work to impress your boss, or preferring solitude when you are a teenager. Note that one of the things teenagers are renowned for is wanting to be alone, or at least wanting their parents to leave them alone. A childhood history and/or adulthood in desiring seclusion may constitute an asocial person instead of typical (adolescent) phases many go through. All of that aside, humans are animals, and social animals at that. Humans do (seem to, as far as modern research goes) need some interaction to be mentally and emotionally stable and healthy. (For some people, the possibility of connecting with someone can be the whole reason why they gravitate to a cult, or a gang; they are starved for a connection, and are looking for family, friendship, and belonging.) Finally, ‘asocial’ should never be confused with ‘antisocial’, which can be a personality disorder, and it contains behaviour that one can be arrested and tried under law for. Introverts are a little asocial by default. Over time, personal experiences may or may not tip an asocial into things like agoraphobia, social anxiety, misanthropy, or a full aversion to social contact, and/or possibly drugs in a desperate bid to get away from people. Keeping with the modern understanding of the word ‘hermit’, a hermit is a complete asocial. The degree of hating human interaction does vary amongst hermits, but they are still hermits.

I peg Kakuzu as asocial because he never seeks out interaction with anything or anyone unless he has to for his work or Akatsuki, or unless he can get something from that encounter such as money or information; interaction is otherwise forced on him. By this, Kakuzu chooses to have no friends. He is friendly with Zangei, but that is clearly a business relationship. They do not talk about pleasantries and if they do, Kakuzu says very little. Kakuzu routinely avoids people in every other way. His misanthropy comes from his trauma yet is never active as Antisocial Personality Disorder. He never seeks people out to attack them unless heavily provoked. To add, PersonA seeking out PersonB to attack them in revenge is not Antisocial Personality Disorder.

(Now I’m not sure about this bit here, I am kind of hypothesizing, I am trying to remember what I have read, but I think being the centre of attention or receiving ((a lot?)) of attention is something an asocial person dislikes. I do think there is a connection between being asocial and disliking or hating attention. However little the connection is, someone paying attention to you by looking at you, staring at you, or talking with you does open the door of possibility for them coming up and speaking to you, or someone speaking to you for a longer time or in a more intimate way.)

Kakuzu is asocial (I uphold) and mostly a recluse (this is canon) who hates being the centre of attention (could go any way between hates it <–> does not hate it, but prefers not to be <-> does not hate it, but ((intensely)) dislikes it). * * *

Large houses filled with pricey stuff and marble bathrooms, expansive kitchens, and long hallways with high skylights are extremely costly, not to mention high maintenance. I know it's fun to imagine that he'd be so well-off and happy(´∀｀)♡ ♡ ♡in a huge home especially given how he was treated in canon, but he simply isn't like that. He'd actually be un-happy with all of that, and it is possible for someone to be just as happy or more in a smaller and less expensive living space.

My headcanon is he would not have a mansion, but he would have a pretty nice, well-kept, not large house. He probably has a nice cottage or nice cabin somewhere too, or even what is called a 'vacation home' at the most, but he wouldn’t have more than one whichever it is. I am only speaking of Canada when I say that he needs to be careful where any type of ‘getaway’ of his is located.

I feel the need to mention three kinds of getaways in reference to what I said about cottages and the like because this is what I have come to understand in my life, but other people will have different definitions so I just want to clarify what I mean. I am only speaking of Canada when I say these two sentences – When looking for a weekend, summer, or winter getaway place, be careful you are not building, buying, or renting on or from (designated) Aboriginal land. Find your own place (which I would think anyone would rather have anyway). :

Cabin = a rustic outpost at the least (no, not a shed. Do not ever call a “cabin” a “shed”). most parts of it are wood or it is completely made of wood. might have indoor plumbing, has no paved roads. kind of level-up from camping in a nice trailer, but only in the way that there’s more room, it doesn’t have wheels, and it is or could be a house. a fireplace is always included for added heat or as the only source of heat. You also probably have to get your own firewood so be careful about that, like with tree-felling laws in the area (get the old or dying ones so the young ones have a chance to grow and breed more. And if you are set on hunting and/or fishing then this is something you should do as well, instead of disabling and often ruining the population as hunters do when they go for the “largest, strongest, healthiest” or when they just don’t care what, where, and how many die, or how they die for that matter. ((And no, if a predator kills a human they do not get a taste for human blood and come back for more versus their natural prey, there is no reason to kill the animal.)) Just think first, use your damn head.). You may or may not have neighbours who live close by.

Cottage = maybe paved roads. TV, cell reception. you might have some kind of internet connection. You (usually) don’t have to get drinking water from a single pump 1km out from you where yeah, you better have biceps (I love the endearing hardships of cabins), heating probably doesn't take long to start up even if it's winter. Obviously clean, stable, secure, and well structured, from the outside at least. Don’t bet money on it, but you could easily have neighbours who live close by.

Vacation home (this one's usually for spoiled non-outdoorsy types - people who are probably not strong enough and just want to look at the nature,  √(￣A￣√)  but no touching) = maybe a jacuzzi or hot tub. a fireplace has no point here because it is typically fake. if it really does produce heat or fire there is still no point because there is already grade-A heating throughout, and so it’s just to be trendy or it’s for looks either way. air-conditioning and pretty much every other amenity. You probably do have neighbours who live close by.

I’ve heard people interchange ‘vacation home’ and ‘cottage’ before, but it doesn’t work well.

In obtaining his own ‘getaway’ it depends on how Kakuzu feels about luxury vs. necessity, and his overall relationship with the outdoors -> Will he mind constructing his own waterline? The payoff is that he has no water bills – the downside is he must do all the work, maintenance, and repairs himself. Can he stand to forgo a dishwasher and laundry washer/dryer? What about a phone line? Would he allow regular long distance calls or is it just for emergencies?

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10 points list. Mansions and huge houses or extra vacation homes, etc. add time, effort, and expenses:

My list below is not specific to one location in the world. It depends on where Kakuzu lives that first determines his actions towards and the logistics of buying a house.

1. Consider his character: As we know it, Kakuzu does nor says anything he sees no point to. A large home does nothing for you; it serves no actual purpose. Since it’s established by who he is that he’s living alone, none of the extra space is being used by someone else. Even if a vagabond grey-haired kid is with him, there is still no point in owning a big house with extra rooms unless you are actually going to use them all for something, and be productive. A mansion or large house is just a desperate ego stroke or entitled indulgence otherwise. 🍒

2. All of that wasted space is also wasted money. 🍒

3. High maintenance: Kakuzu would prefer to have a job in business or something that deals with money, which means he would be busy a lot, and not have a lot of time to do these things by himself. — Having a large mansion-like home means you must pay more mind than you would normally to a smaller home since you have more to deal with and then some –         • General electrical things and other utilities including- air conditioning, heating, lighting, hydro;         • The basic stuff won’t be much if he’s alone, but it still adds to the amount of stuff he has to deal with- cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping;         • Maintenance!- for example, the plumbing is backed up and that system covers a lot of area for one lost sock or tampon;         • Location, location, location- how much is this going to cost in this area? (Custom-made stuff always costs more);         • Depending on how much there is to handle- hired help, WOOPS huge taxes there it is;         • And finally- installed security measures, and the given: needing to care for his large sums of money.

—

This is where the part ‘How and why his prudence, watchfulness, and calculation over his money never or barely changes since it is tied to his trauma’ that I spoke about before mostly starts. | I only mentioned hired help because it completes the list of things that owning a large home introduces. Nevertheless, he is distrusting based on his experiences. Unless supervised by him, it is immensely unlikely for him to hire anything like a cleaning service or allow anyone at all into his home. Think about it; Hidan is the only one ever to get so canonically close to Kakuzu, physically or other, and at least at first, that is only by force of circumstance. 🍒

4. He would attract unwanted attention with a large house, and it could be from criminals, police, or other. — While a fan story here in the modern times of Earth’s universe won't be able to realistically reproduce exactly what happened to him in the manga and anime, Kakuzu still needs some form of trauma with other people to develop as a watered-down version of canon-Kakuzu. This means he's going to be, at the very least, somewhat asocial, and misanthropic too. In this world, definitely cautious and hard. He is and would be damaged in his views of others, certainly when you factor in him seeing how easily people can be manipulated by metal coins and flimsy-thin pieces of paper that mean nothing outside of human society or even whatever country he lives in (Japanese yen is worthless as currency in Canada, Canadian dollar is worthless as currency in Japan, etc.). I am not saying with this #4 point that anybody whose opulence is a little too evident and attracts criminals or violent attention should be blamed for their own misery, or that they deserved it. I am saying that one rule of money is to avoid making yourself obvious. If you are obvious and/or well known, you are a target. The people eyeing you are already prepared, so you have to look ahead and be better at it. Preparedness is key, which is something Kakuzu routinely practices in canon since his favourite phrase is listed as, “If you're prepared, there won't be any sorrow" (備えあれば憂いなし, Sonae areba urei nashi).

Criminals and baddies: Given his deeply distrusting (and I think mistrusting) nature, he would consider how much attention he would attract based on how rich he looks. I'm not saying he'd be paranoid, but definitely vigilant of keeping anybody from ever taking advantage of or abusing him ever again. This is why security measures are not listed as 'depending on how much there is to handle' in point #3; he'd have (probably lots) security put in anyway.

“Look at my grand veranda, isn’t it beautiful~” “Oh wow someone tried to break in, how shocking that someone would target me, how ever did they know I have money?”

Lastly, if he lives around or close to people and someone targets him there is the chance they might canvass the entire neighbourhood. It is what a criminal does. They will scope you out; see what else they can get. Professional criminals such as experienced burglars and hustlers know what they are doing and train and/or are trained in ‘reading’ things, like people, houses, whole businesses, or neighbourhoods. By ‘reading’, I mean they watch things like the goings on in a neighbourhood, a person’s body language, security at a building, and then pick you out if they deem you an easy or good ‘mark’. At the worst, a neighbour is also targeted and that neighbour becomes a belligerent little aggressor filing a lawsuit against Kakuzu himself (now two or more lives get ruined and it wasn’t even the first target person’s fault for this mess in the first place). Should someone not have proper security measures in place for their house and someone targets them, and the criminal then goes after their neighbours - “They would not have come after the rest of us if they did not find you, and if they did not find you so easy to attack”. Suing is more likely to happen if Kakuzu's house was the only rich one there. Depending on the courts, laws, the kinds of lawyers involved and the restraints put on them wherever Kakuzu lives, suing is more likely to happen if Kakuzu's house was the only rich one there. It may be possible to argue that Kakuzu was the sore thumb sticking out that attracted criminals to the area. Even if any kind of suit falls through (long trials slowly drain you of money and energy) or if he has good lawyers (good lawyers typically cost big money too), he might have to settle, with money, out of court. Let’s say no charge or suit is ever considered by any court and no one tries to sue him to begin with, he still has to pay for damages and any security, or additional security, and/or replacing or trying to replace any (personal) items that were lost, damaged, or stolen. Any way it is and he is paying in this scenario for something easily preventable.

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The po-po: Attracting the authorities' interests is different. What if Kakuzu had charges or was jailed or imprisoned in the past? In canon ‘Naruto’, he was jailed (and possibly tortured) for an unmentioned amount of time for failure on a mission. Given who Kakuzu is, some of the time spent detained in an Earth-AU unrelated to money could be for military reasons. For crimes that are money-related, it could be from cons and scams, basic tax evasion, ponzi schemes, selling organs on the black market, or money laundering among other things. Some way somehow the police could easily be suspicious of this (maybe ex-con) guy (suddenly?) coming into hordes of cash.

(Another thing is that police get suspicious when anyone’s hordes of cash are used to ¥S¥P¥E¥N¥D¥. That wouldn’t work however, as the money-centric eccentric ((haha wordplay)) knows enough to be careful with outlandish purchases, thus not raising the eyebrows of police that way.)

Anyway yah shake it and Kakuzu’s jailbird background (if he is to be kept in character and similar to canon Kakuzu, unless AU-Kakuzu got away with... whatever crime it was), coupled with large sums of money, and then using those large sums to buy an expensive house will attract a cop’s eye, and not in an affectionate way. Plus, yes, there is such a thing as racially motivated prejudice and bias (Kakuzu has dark skin); although this is another thing that depends on where he lives in the entire world.

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Everybody else, curious onlookers/explorers: In 'Naruto' he has purposely hidden his face and obscured his identity to anyone he comes across. This is so his identity can't be easily discernible, he may have some security and self-esteem issues about the stitches of his appearance, and so he doesn't attract anyone’s eye because at least one person will notice the 6 foot tall, muscled, dark-skinned guy (in a sea of pale-skinned people, I mean come on unless he’s in Kumogakure, The Land of Lightning) with a glasgow smile and bright green and red eyes. It is common sense anyways for a shinobi to make sure they don’t stand out. With the possible exceptions of his partners, I imagine that no one in canon who sees Kakuzu’s face lives to tell about it. One reason is so they cannot identify him. Pein is the only other one that I can imagine who knows what Kakuzu looks like, and that is for security reasons. So this is just his face he covers, the part of the body that uniquely identifies him as an individual. What would he then do about the part of himself, his possessions (his house, car, yard, etc.) that uniquely identify him as someone of particular interest?

Covering his face in an AU or not and even excluding everything I have already written for #4, he doesn’t behave like someone who’s going to get an expensive or huge house that sticks out. He wouldn’t stay hidden and in the shadows with everything he does to only pop out with some big expense.... 🍒

5. I can’t remember where I read or heard this, I’m sorry, but I know there was something about Kakuzu keeping his abilities hidden away until it is necessary to show them. I do know there was something about that. SO money is like that! Money is a source of power, and money can translate as, “I have enough money for almost any kind of protection or assault; weapons, bodyguards, surveillance, you name it. This amount of money must also mean I have connections. That I know powerful people. Mess with me and heads will roll.” This is what the abilities in ‘Naruto’ can say only when they are revealed, and money is like that. Money is another ability for Kakuzu in ‘Naruto’, and his only ‘ability’ in an Earth AU. 🍒

6. If he's pissed away this much money by now from buying a huge house, how much does he have left over for an emergency? If it's a big or bad situation then the entire house or part of it could be shut down, for example: infestation, fire, unpredictable tree roots, water damage, etc.. Well. Now he might just have to move. Furthermore, what about retirement? What if suddenly he comes across some young, homeless, nomad kid who doesn’t like to wear pants?

(Kakuzu: “God dammit we’re in a clothing store and I still can’t take you anywhere-”*turns around* “Where’dyougo” The store’s indoor Public Address (PA) System: “A naked young man has gone missing from the clothing department. Be advised that your father is waiting f-*sudden microphone feedback*“NO he is not my son-”)

I know these are a lot of what ifs and I’m not saying Kakuzu would be obsessed with them, he won’t live his life by them, however these possible dangers are something to seriously consider. >sarcasm about it being mysterious>Thinking things through is this mysterious activity mature adults do.<sarcasm about it being mysterious<

Basically - is Kakuzu willing to blow a bunch of money on something that might only last a short while before he needs to spend more money to repair it or leave it? 🍒

7. So this point used to be one whole point with #6 above, but that was too big, so now they’re separate. They are only kindof sortof slightly related anyways. * * Like anyone, Kakuzu will try to sell if he is moving. With regard to where he is living (again) and/or the situation, his real estate agent might tell him to start ‘staging’ to attract offers. Staging a house is the process of making it attractive to any prospective buyer or renter coming through it while it is up for sale or rent. You set a ‘stage’ for the ‘performance’ of the house. There are many different parts to staging a house for selling, and a lot involve money. The whole of moving is expensive. I have only done a little research on this. Consult a true verified professional real estate agent and/or lawyer and/or etc. for your situation and where you want to be or are living.—

Kakuzu’s goal is not to decorate the house as he would personally like in this scenario of moving out. He is supposed to be advertising his house like a product. Any gouge or tear will cost Kakuzu money as potential buyers mentally bring down the price. To avoid this, Kakuzu will have to go over any main concerns so he can continue with other things about the house and the sell. This might cost some money, but the amount spent also might be less than what he would lose if he didn’t bother and wound up in a bidding war. Kakuzu needs somewhere to hold his personal belongings until he can move into a new place, and storage units cost money to rent. Simply removing something from the storage unit before everything is to be unloaded, if he just wanted another kitchen chair, a certain table, or forgot his winter parka or wanted extra clothing may require a fee and a warning notice to the attendants at the storage warehouse. (Kakuzu needs to promptly remove his personal things from his home because potential buyers must be able to imagine the home as theirs. To paint a picture of a possible home in the mind’s eye of buyers until the place is sold, a few of his impersonal things could be left out sparingly such as a coffee table or bedframe.)

Curb appeal: The outside of the home is the first impression. Nothing drastic is needed, but this will take time and if repairs are needed, then possibly money. If the grass of his yard is doing badly enough then he may need to start refreshing it a year or two before putting it up for sale to give it time, or prepare to drop the price or haggle even if the inside and/or the rest of the outside of the house is beautiful. This is not just about aesthetics. An unhealthy lawn says things like, “disease!” or, “ruptured sewer pipeline!”. Additionally, you may love that woodcarving your sister gave you of a humanoid expressionist dancer in your front yard and maybe your neighbours love it too, but viewers may not so move it out.

Flooring: Noticeably dented up hardwood floors may need to be replaced. If it is too expensive or Kakuzu does not want to spend the money, then a really good cleaning is the best he can do. He needs to check for damages in wall-to-wall carpet and (possibly) replace that just as well.

Clean: If cleaning the house is not Kakuzu’s priority then a discount on the purchase price might be the only way buyers might still move in, and that discount will likely cost him more than a professional cleaning. A thoroughly cleaned place adds value. A potential buyer will snoop around, and they are right to do so. Small stains on the walls. Scuffed baseboards. Cobwebs in the high corners. Dull and unpolished ceilings. Kakuzu needs to clean eVERytHiNg until the result is as if the abode was brand new. This, again, will add time and if repairs are needed, then money.

Secure: Even if Kakuzu is sure he does not have a pest problem, he probably isn’t as sure as he should be. He needs to check and then double check for damage as well since that can lead to a pest problem. For all of this it matters what kind of substance Kakuzu uses on what kind of surface to fill, fix, or seal any holes or fissures. This may cost repairs or he could maybe do this himself. Stuffing a rag in a hole or taping up a crack will incur more wary looks than cheques for the place. Kakuzu also needs to clean the area before occluding anything and do it with the proper things like bleach vs. pure alcohol vs. water, and plain wood is extremely difficult to clean because of how porous it is. Caulk used for baseboards or the outside of window frames (but inside the house) is a filler and used to fill cracks and crannies; foam is the same. Caulk is not an adhesive, and generally cannot stand a lot of abuse. Caulk is used in vulnerable positions, for example around bathroom sinks because it dries quickly, cheap, and easy application and removal. (Silicone) sealant is used for a thin strip to seal windows, or stone, ceramic, or porcelain. It is much better for bathrooms. It can handle more abuse and is more permanent, and sealant is an adhesive, but it also collects dirt in its grooves and edges. Coloured silicone sealant will not last long vs. clear, which will. Hydraulic concrete expands at such an aggressively rapid rate that if not done properly it may cause more cracks than the break in the concrete wall it’s being used to fix. Spray sealant is good for an array of things, but not strong enough for others that are under strain as it has been watered down to make it light enough to spray. Something with a polyurethane based finish needs a long time to dry before anything else can be done with it, including regular daily use, like a kid’s toy chest or window shutters.

The real estate agency often provides stand-in furniture and things, but... Purchasing amenities for strangers: I think this is the big one that would grate on Kakuzu’s nerves. A part of staging is that you buy, replace, or repair amenities for your home to make it more appealing. It may not matter if you replaced your ____ 2 years before and it works and looks great, you’ll still need to get a new one. This means Kakuzu is possibly buying, replacing and/or repairing for example, his faucets, stove, wall and/or ceiling lighting fixtures, freezer, toilet, fireplace, laundry washer and/or laundry dryer, and maybe others. The buyers are free to get rid of these amenities since they now own them as soon as the house changes hands, wasting Kakuzu’s money. Kakuzu just spent possibly hundreds or thousands of dollars on a few new things that might not remain in the house or ever be used, it is recommended he not use them or use them as little as possible to reduce the risk of damage, and he is never getting that money back. Even cleaning it after each use is still risking damage, such as the oven. He must be extremely careful, cleans them well after using it, and uses them as rarely as he can, like the refrigerator or bathroom sink, things you really can’t avoid to use. Examples for things he can avoid using include shower, garbage disposal, and bathtub. 🍒

8. I am not savvy on the subject of real-estate markets or anything, but house-poor is a term that Kakuzu would know about. What often ends up happening is that people “pile all their eggs into one basket”, buy a house that needs work, put all or most of their money into that house to fix it up, clean it up, and then they’re stuck with huge debt. They become “house-poor”. There’s also liability vs. asset. I don’t know enough about this either, but - it seems your house, possessions (example: electronics), and your car are both liabilities and assets; things that you buy, put money into, get insurance for, and pay money for, but they are also things that you can sell, making your money work for you. Until then they (some of them) might be costing you money and taking up space. 🍒

9. Huge houses are stupidly big, taking up a lot of space and land in the area. Kakuzu is not someone to be gaudy, a tacky individual who shows off. 🍒

10. These kinds of homes cost so much money in the first place, regardless if these kinds of homes should even exist, and they shouldn’t. (Observation: That is great that you donate, but why you still feel the need to have a tennis court attachment or even just so much space when that money could actually help something or someone is nonsensical. It’s ridiculous. Yes it is your money that you worked towards, but really, no one deserves millions of dollars no matter whatever it is that they did for it.) 🍒

Insurance could sure as hell cover some of this stuff, but as I have mentioned - riches attract all kinds of attention. Some insurance companies might consider this risk.

I keep imagining bird poop on his big bay windows in this ‘Kakuzu has a huge home and spends a lot of his money’ characterization. Or if he has skylights or something or an expensive car(s). Now somebody's going to have to get up there and take care of it:

"Yuki I'm tired, get out there, and do some gardening too, my yard looks like shit. What do you mean you joined a worker's union?"

¥₦¢$₹€can$$you¥¢¢¥₦hear his wallet¥₹€€₦¢₦crying¢₹¥¥₹₦€

In closing, Kakuzu lavishing himself with riches and/or buying a large house does not line up with anything shown by his character in canon or the Naruto databooks.

_________________________________________________________________________________

lol "Roberts, there's some naked youth with grey hair trying to scale my western hedge wall...." "Yes sir, I'll call the police right awa-” "No I wanna watch." *sips tea*

...

Sex: Aside from being defined as the activity involving a (usually erect) penis inside, usually, a vagina with thrusting and/or ejaculation, sex is also what your body has assigned itself as: female, or male, or intersex. Know that some people are intersex, which means they have a mix of both sexes’ genitalia. Genitalia means organs inside or outside the body that are used in sexual reproduction. Breasts are not genitalia since they do not aid in sexual reproduction.

Gender: How you perceive yourself within the categories of female or male or the in-between. You personally identify more with one type in this range than other types. In literal definition the lack of gender identity (agender) is not a gender (similar to atheist, the lack of believing in a religion is not a religion) although it does need its own classification, its own section, and many agender people want that title. It is still an identity because you find your own without basing it around your gender. Genderfluid, someone’s personal identity freely moving between male or female from day-to-day or morning-to-night, is an example of a separate gender. The short-lived (in terms of human existence), and traditional idea is that people with female genitalia permanently identify as female while people with male genitalia permanently identify as male.

Sexual orientation: What kinds of people you feel more attracted to, what direction you are oriented in. It could be the same sex as you, the opposite sex of you, both sexes, androgyny or intersex, no one until you get to know them, etc.. Sexual orientation is a spectrum of many different colours. In literal definition, similar to not identifying with any gender asexual is not it’s own sexual orientation; it is the lack of one although it does need its own classification, its own section, and many asexual people want that title. While not being oriented towards anything, it is still an identity because it still makes you up. Most people do not completely feel one way from this spectrum. Sexual orientation example: Lesbians know they are attracted to women without ever dating a man the same way a straight man also intrinsically (from within himself) knows he is not attracted to men.

They get partnered together and soon Hidan realizes that this guy is not a jashinist, not even religious. Hidan thinks maybe there’s something he could do to protect Kakuzu. Hidan does not want to lose the one ‘pioneer’ in immortality (besides himself) he has just met, Example: by way of jashin smiting him, and Hidan also doesn’t want to be smote by jashin for being around a heathen and not sacrificing them. Additionally, what earthly wanderer could possibly survive without Jashin’s protection? “It is not possible.” Hidan concludes. “I must convince Them this heathen twitfuck is worth it, then bring him under Their shield.” Imagine one of the most self-righteous religious attitudes with the best intentions coming from Hidan.

There are ways of casting protection in every religion in the world, so it’s presumable that Hidan made Kakuzu a protection amulet.. or something at some point in the beginning of their partnership.

Maybe the two partners made a deal where Kakuzu doesn’t wear it (amulet, stone, a bean held in his navel, whatever it may be) all the time; it is just on missions or sometimes for other things that I think Kakuzu wears it somewhere safe on his body. This is because of what happened probably after Hidan made it for him where the first and only time that he didn’t wear it, Hidan panicked, and then stalled them both by racing to make a substitute:

Hidan: *cutting away at bushes with his scythe* I cannot… fucking believe- ungrateful asshat-

Kakuzu: Hidan.

Hidan: Noyoushutthefuckup! I need oleander!

Kakuzu: We have a mission now and I will not waste my time-

Hidan: Here, hold this.

Kakuzu: -Is this your tooth?

Here is the link to the original list. The post I am talking about in this list is number 16. If you just want to see the image I am talking about, I put that up too. I would have included the link I got from using ‘Open image in new tab’, but it is unverified.

http://whisper.sh/stories/cc9fc428-8cf1-4b3a-a613-4cefbaec4583/We-May-Have-Answered-The-Age-Old-Question-Of-Why-Women-Date-Jerks?page=2&root_story_id=cc9fc428-8cf1-4b3a-a613-4cefbaec4583&story_index=0

The person who wrote that Whisper headline is none too bright. (I’ve also noticed how cringey Whisper is at trying to relate to millennials and Gen Z with the words and phrases they use. It’s like several other online companies/products/businesses. It’s pathetic, cringey, desperate, and it doesn’t work.)

The white text with black shadow outline is displayed over an image of a large, white, clothes-filled closet, and says: Little girls are told that when a boy picks on you, it’s because he likes you. And guys wonder why women date jerks?

This picture from whisper still brings up a good point even though only some women date jerks, and god almighty I hate that question of “Why do women/men only date jerks?”. If you are asking that then you do not know much about women or people at all, do you? Plus, why don’t these two questions get as much attention?➜ “Why do guys only date bitches? Why do guys only go after women who use them?”

Do not try to push that “women date jerks because they are attracted to certainty and confidence.” That is the same thing as saying, “women don’t date a ‘genuine nice guy’ because a man cannot be a ‘genuine nice guy’ at the same time as naturally having certainty and confidence. Women also want to see certainty and confidence more than they wish to be respected.”

I actually do swing from rage to pity for men like this. I respond in their face with, “No you turdfuck misogynist, I am much more attracted to someone who respects me as a person, not ‘as a woman’ because there is no such thing, but just as a person than I would ever be towards something like you. Please get professional help.” The reaction is the same thing towards a KKK member or a TERF - swinging between rage and pity.

The speaker of the nonsense claim thinks that there is a one-way ticket to attracting and keeping a woman and that it is to have confidence. The claim is mostly a lie, but works in giving men who may have low confidence or who may be a ‘fake nice guy’ a false sense of hope because they and the speaker all share similar and extremely limited experiences and shallow relationships with the female gender.

It might work to attract a woman for a short time before she realizes the truth. Most stories from women of having dated a jerk in their past begin with, “He started out as such a nice guy. He was helpful, generous, romantic, caring, attentive, charming, and sweet. Then after I moved in with him/after we got married/after I had the baby he changed. Or really, what was there before came out.” This is also what is said by women who escaped an abusive relationship, or a relationship with a serial killer or a sociopath. *So good job, men. Brilliant work.*sarcasm* On rare occasions though, simply having confidence is enough to keep her around... but that woman has an ulterior motive such as she is only looking for sex or money, or she has personal issues such as low self-worth.

It is not hard to treat another person as another living thing deserving of respect. It is a shame and a goddamn embarrassment that posts like these should ever need to be made as some kind of teaching tool, and that people still argue about this topic.

I’m going to mainly speak in terms of a female dating a male jerk for this list considering this post is centred on the ridiculousness of the “Women only date jerks and assholes.” saying. Also, all real life situations are different and complicated so don’t think anyone’s situation can easily be marked down as just one of these or even any of these. I may be a woman, but I shouldn’t have to think for you.

(I know it’s hard for someone who thinks in such narrow lanes about women, but try to use your brainpower in understanding this. I believe in you.) - If she (or he! It works the other way around too!) is dating a ‘jerk’ the 26 reasons may be: —————

1. They could be determined to stick with an unhealthy relationship out of stubbornly believing the relationship works, to have, change, heal, or help something, or stick with it out of fear of losing something or out of fear of the results (see #3), however unhealthy it is. - 2. Maybe “being a jerk” is a part of their kink, their sex life; it is consensual and conducted safely. In every other case when you are not around or they are in private, she/he treats them with respect. For example, there is such a thing as an embarrassment kink. If your boy/girlfriend is constantly making you feel badly, physical or other, that is not a kink. That is (a form of) abuse. Immediately seek help and find a way to leave the relationship safely. This brings me to #3, the most disturbing reason— - —3. This person may be in an abusive relationship. What appears as their partner making small verbal jabs at their weight and physical appearance in public plus a combative attitude with friends, it is actually much worse in private. They may not be able to leave the relationship. I am in no way an expert on this subject, there could be multiple reasons why an abuser reacts a certain way. However, the research is out that:

(These links provide posts and articles with gender-neutral information. I was determined not to post anything with phrases centred only on females that were in or are in heterosexual relationships. It is great when people acknowledge, “domestic violence and abuse can happen in any relationship regardless of sexual orientation, race, financial situation, religion, gender, age, or culture”, but then is hypocritical and unhelpful when the rest of the discussion only involves female pronouns and references to female-only sufferer and survivor cases. It supports the idea that only biologically born heterosexual females, females in heterosexual relationships, or biological females experience domestic violence and that those cases and women are more deserving of attention. It is close-minded, harmful, and ignorant when people ignore the effect their words or phrasing has.)

Leaving an abusive partner is the most dangerous time. by Lisa McAdams | Aug 22, 2016 | Lead the Way | http://lisamcadams.com/leaving-abusive-relationship-dangerous-time/ lisamcadams com leaving abusive relationship dangerous time **the link above and below are the same articles, but the one above is from the writer’s own website.** Leaving An Abusive Partner is the Most Dangerous Time Published on October 19, 2016 Lisa McAdams Domestic Violence Workplace Strategist | Speaker | Media Comme... https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/leaving-abusive-partner-most-dangerous-time-lisa-mcadams linkedin pulse leaving abusive partner most dangerous time lisa mcadams

Danger Assessment Updated: August 5, 2015 https://www.womenslaw.org/danger-assessment womenslaw danger assessment

What to remember about abusers during the most dangerous time in a relationship December 15, 2013 12:03 pm Updated: December 15, 2013 12:04 pm https://bangordailynews.com/2013/12/15/opinion/editorials/what-to-remember-about-abusers-during-the-most-dangerous-time-in-a-relationship/ bangordailynews 2013/12/15 opinion editorials what to remember about abusers during the most dangerous time in a relationship

The most dangerous time for domestic abuse sufferers is when they try to leave or do leave. Sometimes the abuser doesn’t make good on their threats of killing their partner or make any threats of that kind at all until their partner actually makes it clear they wish to leave or does so. The abuser’s mental state can devolve into something of “How dare you leave me” mixed with “If I can’t have you, no one will” or “you are never leaving me and you are staying here forever”. Concerning such a possessive and obsessed way of thinking as that, the abuser’s reaction does make sense; up until then there was no threat of the other person leaving, and now there is so the abuser grasps for control. They seek control. What the abused person needs right now is safety and support, and so again I repeat— If your boy/girlfriend is constantly making you feel badly, physical or other, that is not a kink. That is (a form of) abuse. Immediately seek help and find a way to leave the relationship safely. - 4. However inane the ideas that a jerk may be better in bed, more attractive, more fun, or more honest are it may be the way she thinks. - 5. Maybe she has only ever dated and been around jerks because she has only ever known jerks, so it is not as if she knows there is anything different. - 6. Some women who date jerks on purpose as in the women are aware and accepting of their behaviour, know where they stand with them. These women overlap with other women who don’t know what a real nice guy is, as in a genuinely good, honest, respectful person who just so happens to be of the male gender and confuses them with guys who are extremely shy or guys who let themselves be pushed around and controlled. –Maybe the guy has extreme anxiety, low self-esteem, low confidence, or a number of different things, but they can still be a jerk. ‘The extremely shy guy’, ‘the pushover’, and ‘the genuine nice guy’ are not the same things.–

Addition: There is such a thing as a ‘fake nice guy’. They can also be called a ‘fuckboy’. They like to believe that they are actually good people (or they like to pretend they are), and some women only date ‘obvious jerks’ because again, they know where they stand with them. “Obvious jerks don’t play games.” is the thinking here. These women’s opinions of ‘nice guys’ have been soiled, and now they only see ‘nice guys’ as liars, cheaters, and posers so they date guys who are honest and clear about who and what they are. Within this sense, these people want the ‘right’ jerk or a certain type of jerk. Therefore, you can thank all of the fuckboys and fake nice guys for doing that shitty thing where one or a few people ruins something for anybody else, in this case, her attitude. - 7. Look up to the picture. Now read all of the text or the verbatim text I provide underneath. Now let your brain process what you just read. - 8. Maybe she doesn’t know he is a jerk. He may never act that way around her. - 9. Maybe she wants to try something completely different. - 10. On the other side of the coin, she may be scared to try something completely different. She might be worried that she will fail at a healthy relationship. - 11. She doesn’t want to ruin you. - 12. Toxic masculinity and the patriarchy are two real and horrible things bringing up abusive or neglectful fathers, so yeah, your father not engaging with you → you seek relationships with the first man who gives you attention/affection. Your father abused you → you think pain and abuse mean love or that abuse is acceptable. Your father parented you with unbending religious values and rules → you think your places are in the kitchen, bedroom, and nursery, and so on. (Everything in life is situational, nothing is in black and white, and it certainly can’t be summed up in two lines of text.)

Addition: The media/pop culture is also at fault because it is not just parents who end up raising a child, it is also their friends, teachers, the media, it’s the world around them. The media regularly spins toxic masculinity and the patriarchy into something called the ‘romantic jerk’ or the ‘bad boy’ for drama. The media loves to hold this character up to our daughters. This is the male character that plays a free spirit, wayward, tough guy attitude with life - “He may not have much money or a job or a care about anything, but fuck if he doesn’t fuck you into bliss. He is a man’s man on a motorcycle with bloody knuckles and a heart of gold only for you. Don’t worry, his manipulation, possessiveness, and stalking is just him expressing how much he doesn’t want to lose you, and how much he needs you in his life!” I’ll be clear: A guy like this doesn’t need you in his life, he needs a crutch. He needs someone to take care of him. He needed a mother (or a father) when he was little and he is turning you into that now, or he is trying to. He cannot be without you because he cannot stand on his own two feet. - 13. Maybe she doesn’t believe she’s good enough (for anything else). - 14. She may be a jerk herself, and aww look how cute, they found each other. Two pieces of shit have drifted towards each other in the toilet bowl. In which case, if two awful people can find each other, there is definitely someone out there for you. - 15. They have ulterior motives, which might include wanting a share in the jerk’s money/possessions, getting back at someone, or wanting a child. PSA: Please do not breed with jerks because you risk poisoning the human population with more of them if you do. - 16. She is grieving something or someone. Dating this jerk is liberating for her or is salving, possibly because of what little effort is expected from her to put into the relationship since the jerk puts in minor effort as well. Little effort creates few expectations creates little effort on an endless loop, and this might be good for her at this time in her life. - 17. She or he may be looking in the wrong place for a mate and are seriously under the misconception that “there are no good guys around to date”, and have now ended up settling for this. - 18. Maybe the jerk-gal (or jerk-guy) only mistreats everybody else but never her (or him), and she/he doesn’t care and/or likes that jerk-guy or jerk-gal is this way. - 19. She literally thinks she deserves bad treatment = she hates herself. - 20. For some people whether it is subconscious or not (there may be trauma, it can depend on the kind of environment they live in for ex: a bad neighbourhood, their attitude and the way they treat others, etc.), they are ‘magnets’ for jerks or they are drawn to jerks. They think they can only attract jerks, and therefore ‘jerks’ are as good as they will ever get. - 21. She or he does not want a committed relationship. They can rely on the jerk to be disinterested in a long-term committed relationship too, and that is just what she or he wants at that moment. In this case, they are (probably) perfectly aware of who they are dating and that it is not healthy. An actual good person is/will be the target date for something long-term. - 22. She/he is rebelling. She/he is acting out and/or trying to get attention and/or they are bored. Teenagers are usually the ones who date jerks for these reasons. - 23. The jerk keeps their partner around with sex or by buying them things, travel, or giving them money. - 24. Maybe the jerk just doesn’t like you. Maybe it’s you who is the problem- ooo plot twist: You are the jerk. - 25. Maybe this woman is a ‘beard’ for him. A beard is a term in lgbt+ culture that means - a man starts dating a woman, acquiring her as his beard, as a way to cover up the truth that he is gay. The man is not sexually attracted to her. She is not going to ‘turn’ him. A bisexual man, or a man who is questioning his own sexuality may use a beard as well, but the point is that ‘beard’ is an lgbt+ term. If she is the jerk’s beard, he sure is doing a shite job of keeping himself out of people’s attention. - 26. Personal reason: Maybe they seem like a jerk to you at first glance. However, some people need someone else to help keep them in line because of anything from childhood trauma to addiction to a mental/physical accessibility issue or other, and this looks like ‘being a jerk’ to you. It can be anything from helping to get them on and keep to a medication schedule, to keeping up with them when they are not on medication, to giving them an allowance because they can’t hold down a job. Some people do need that structure that comes with being with someone who a.) cares about them and b.) is able to put in the work to keep up with them (I use “keep up with” instead of “deal with” or “handle” because we are not anybody’s math problem or pet project)✨.

————— There definitely may be other reasons to add to this list that I just cannot think of, and again I say that each situation is different and complicated. What I have posted above are only linear, clear cut statements, but nothing in life is linear and clear cut, and again, I shouldn’t have to think for you.

Why is this discussion gendered in the first place? Anyone can end up dating a jerk. It doesn’t matter if you or the jerk is female or male! What, you think women are creatures made of pure love and compassion? You think women can’t be abusive? You think it is somehow better when a woman is the abuser because the abuse is easier to take, or that it doesn’t count as abuse? The saying runs with an air of the same stupidity as “Women are so confusing.” Women are not confusing - women are people, women are animals, and all people and all animals are different from one another, just like all men are different from each other, and men are animals too! Everybody is complicated. It’s very easy to understand, and much better than continuing to believe that all men are simple brutes who prioritize sex, and all women are too complicated and thus scary to ever really ‘know’.