scgrumbly bimch

When you thought it would be easy peasy lemon squeezy but it turns out to be difficult difficult lemon difficult.

funniest thing about seeing tumblr mentioned on other websites is the people who are utterly confident that tumblr is exactly as it was in 2012. like we're a bug trapped in amber.

saw someone on reddit mention you gotta be careful making fun of Taylor Swift on tumblr because the Swifties will get you. there are like 8 swifties on this site and they're playing dolls in their own corner.

"careful, an SJW will call you a shitlord for saying that 🤣🤣🤣" sir we use exploding car hammers these days. in fact the exploding car hammers are even a little dated.

"the fangirls are gonna hunt you down for insulting their fave" most of the fangirls are men now.

fucking spot the difference game

we’re almost there (and by almost there i do in fact mean about 427 days left but thats a lot less than 969 so)

it started at 1000 days lol so over halfway there

our new job launched its mandatory ai transcription program designed to streamline our workflow and not only does it melt down the moment it has to transcribe non-white customers but it keeps hallucinating the existence of a mysterious boy named dorian who shows up in every third call summary

caller got into a car accident on their way to work? their nonexistant son dorian was hurt. got kicked out of a bar and broke their ankle? their son dorian was the one who broke it. i now spend more time having to de-dorian the call summary than if i had just written it myself. really funny. we're required to use this now

The Picture of Dorian GrAI

I love how its getting closer to that time of year again and ppl starting to reblog my boy again

this was my top tumblr post for the year of 2021. thank you for accepting my nonsense

my fucking privacy

A few years ago I dreamt that Ryan Reynolds challenged me to a rap battle, and then he made fun of me for rhyming “no you can’t” with “coelacanth”

Heard this stupid dad joke that killed me: Which Chinese word takes the longest to write? "Friend" (朋友) because it takes two months just to write half of it

Which character is faster, hot (热) or cold (冷)? Obviously hot, which has 4 legs to cold's 1

Why do Chinese vampires hate spicy food? They only drink 不辣的

Not all construction work is equally enjoyable. For example, enlarging a drilled hole is boring, but fastening pieces of metal together is riveting.

this joke would get the exact same reaction in 1870 that it gets in 2021 and I love that about it

That makes it WORSE

the reason going viral on tumblr sucks is because instead of money you get death threats over statements you've never made in your entire life

I’d like to add that FDOT also just threatened Gainesville to withhold significant funding to the city if they kept the rainbow crosswalks there as well, even though the people and city itself did not want to do this. Keep your eyes open everyone, this isn’t just a single disrespectful coverup, it’s a coordinated erasure of queer tragedy and histories.