type trouble in my gps and go for a drive

i haven’t used a bong in 12 years bc when i was 19 i hit a bong at a party that was so tall you had to stand on a step ladder to get your mouth on it & then i called my older brother in another timezone sobbing on the toilet and he asked what was wrong and i said i couldn’t tell if i had peed or was peeing or had stopped peeing and i said “what if im still peeing and i walk back out to the party with my pants on and i’m still peeing and i can’t tell and i pee everywhere” and he took a deep breath and mustered all of the patience in the entire world in that moment and said “i cannot stress enough how much that will not happen.”

im still reading about redditors's worst concert experiences and im losing it at this guy who has accidentally seen buckcherry 5 times because they either opened for the act he wanted to see or replaced an act. and now every time he goes to a concert he's scared theyll be there again

i think it’s a shame that in the process of “a million dollars but you have an immortal snail following you that will kill you if it touches you” becoming a mainstream concept we’ve lost part of the original prompt, which is that the snail receives a million dollars as well

(guy stuck in a timeloop) fuckkkkk i got yesterday tomorrow

not gonna lie, when i saw that a cybertruck had exploded i legit didn't realize it was some sort of premeditated thing, i just thought it was just another extreme flaw in it's design. i had no idea fireworks were involved, i honest to god thought it just did that on its own

you can lead a jeff to killer but you can't make it the

Once again I´m thinking of Snowball in Hell, one of my favourite paintings ever