Thou Shalt Get Distracted By Bullshit

“Strong to my enemies, tender to those I loved and respected. That’s what I wanted to be.” Leslie Feinberg - Stone Butch Blues

There’s a famous Reddit post from 2020 where a pregnant woman wrote that her husband and father-in-law were a little too comfortable with their certainty that she was absolutely going to die in childbirth just like her husband’s late mother. It was to the point where her FIL was insisting that she go ahead and put all her clothes into storage, because she was obviously going to die in the hospital and it would save them the grief of packing up her things afterwards. Like. It was WILD.

When I tell my husband [that she feels suspicious of her FIL], he calls me paranoid, but I feel like my FIL WANTS me to die; his whole life identity for the past 35 years has been “amazing single dad” (never dated or had close friends or even hobbies really), and it seems like he’s looking forward to being able to guide my husband through what he went through. At this point, I’d honestly be happy to never see my FIL again, and I certainly don’t want him in the delivery room, especially since he told me he was “putting [his] foot down” about me not being “allowed” to have an epidural…. My husband, in addition to backing his dad on everything, acts like my due date is my death date, and has completely pulled away from me.

The commenters (and me, honestly) were convinced that the husband and FIL were either going to kill her outright to fulfill this expectation, or just make decisions about her care that might conveniently let her die.

And then she never posted again.

Over the last four years, people have frequently mentioned that post, always leading to a thread of people saying, “Oh god, I still worry about that woman.” I did too. It became one of those famous unresolved posts that people always wondered about.

Until yesterday, when someone on r/BestOfRedditorUpdates dug up a 2022 update she had posted on a different account:

TLDR; I had a beautiful and healthy baby girl, and I divorced my ex-husband. I lived, obviously.

She writes that she put her foot down about having her own mother in the delivery room rather than her FIL (!), and she WOULD be getting an epidural. Her husband lost his shit. And in his outburst, he let slip--

I admittedly lost my temper, and told him that I wasn’t going to die- it wasn’t my fault his father’s trauma wormed it’s way into his head, and that he needed to fix it without taking it out on me. He yelled at me that he didn’t need therapy. That caught me a little off guard; I asked him why he went to his therapist and was given advice about my death if he felt he didn’t need it. His expression gave it away, and he caved not long after. It turns out there was no therapist. It was just his dad. During the times he was supposed to be at therapy, he was with his dad. I’m still fuming.

And that was when she got the fuck out.

I’ll wrap this up- I’ve got an adorable little toddler tugging at my leg atm. I’m alive, I’m happy, and I’ve got my baby in my arms. Life is good.

Given the fact that women are constantly watched in our society, and we are constantly REMINDED that we are being watched by people making fun of fat, “ugly”, or gender-nonconforming women, it makes me wonder how many women have messed up important tasks or projects or just day-to-day activities because A PART OF OUR BRAIN is permanently being deactivated?

Like talk about a fucking handicap.

Women are constantly held under the microscope- whether we are attractive or unattractive, the gaze of patriarchy never ends.

Just last week I was walking my dog and bent over to literally pick up poop.  Suddenly I heard whistling and looked up cause I knew I was the only person around.  Sure enough, about 300 feet away, some construction worker was perched on top of a building, grinning at me and calling out stuff I luckily couldn’t hear because he was so goddamn far away.

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/247434408_That_swimsuit_becomes_you_Sex_differences_in_self-objectification_restrained_eating_and_math_performance_Correction_to_Fredrickson_et_al_1998

i also see this hijacking thing happen with sexual liberation, where women were/are trying to reclaim their agency and right to have sed with whoever, but many men don't see it like that. they just see women they can have sex with, and the meaning is lost on them.

And she sees me and apologizes and I go "No worries!" because it didn't bother me none, and she said she normally covers up when there's new people around, but if I'm not bothered she'll keep doing it and "you should give it a go, does wonders for you"

So I did, and it was magic. Being topless in the sun and eating an orange and feeling the breeze is something every woman should be able to experience if she wishes.

But I was talking about going topless in front of some others recently and firstly the men were all for it, until - "Well.. they could be topless if they're like.. 20. Imagine going to a topless beach and all the Nanas have theirs out"

"Or fat girls"

Like the women here are discussing a really basic inequality and how it would be nice to feel free and unsexualised and un-judged for showing the same amount of skin as a man

And the first consideration from men is

How can this advantage the pp

For specificity, a desister is something who went from cis/non-trans to trans to cis/non-trans again, but did not start cross-sex HRT or surgeries. They may have went on hormone blockers.

A detransitioner is someone who went from cis/non-trans to trans to cis/non-trans again, and DID start cross-sex HRT and/or have surgeries.

A repersister is someone who desisted then went back to ID'ing as trans (but still has not had cross-sex HRT/surgeries).

A retransitioner is someone who desisted or detransitioned and later went back to ID'ing as trans (and has taken cross-sex HRT and/or had surgeries).

If anyone is curious, I'm a disister myself (FtNBtMtNBtF) 😊

Trevor Noah interviewing Judith “Badass” Heumann

Judy Heumann believed in the inherent value of each disabled individual and would never back down on what she thought was right. Her friends and fellow activists remember her as a strong leader.

Judy Heumann

December 18, 1947 - March 4, 2023

The existing symbols either have a specific meaning that doesn't mean "radical feminism" (such as the labrys lesbian flag being associated with radfem but doesn't mean radfem) or they are indistinguishable from a mainstream feminism symbol.

So I've decided to create one! I have put together a few versions with different colours. If you want a different colour (up to two colours) just ask me (via comments/reblogs)! Feel free to ask with hex codes also.

Image descriptions on alt text.

Here are the non-transparent PNG versions:

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This is the basic black one on a white background, where a female symbol ♀️ contains a radical √. √ also means root which is the type of "radical" used in "radical feminism." Radfem isn't about "extremism" (the other meaning of radical) but rather is about destroying patriarchy at the root.

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Here are the transparent PNG versions:

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