0% personality, yet happy

• There’s so many of you little guys everywhere. Don’t you realize you’re too small to be just wandering about? What if someone steps on you? Following the little humans that scatter when he approaches, he ushers them away from the main street of the base. And the other Cybertronians. “Sir,” you repeat, tone censuring and he glances down at you as he fakes out another human trying to backtrack and go around him. “Please stop.” Hiking you up higher against his side as you wheeze, he grabs the third human and pins them against you. The rest of the flock hurrying away while shooting him anxious looks. None of you putting up much of a fight or really resisting, but then he’s pretty sure your species are all docile. It’s not like you have claws, armor, or fangs.

• “Watch the elbow,” you grunt as the other caretaker squirms against you. The one on the other side laughing a little hysterically as he follows a group of caretakers who keep nervously looking back and striding away from the bot chasing them, but aren’t flat out running. Yet. Maybe this is a new game? See how many humans you can catch? “Sir? It’s um, illegal to herd human without a license,” you say and he actually hesitates. ‘Illegal?’ He ask, sounding uncertain and you have no idea what to say because you didn’t think that would actually work.

• “Super illegal,” one of the other humans he’s carrying chimes in. ‘But you’re in the street,’ he murmurs and you twist to look up at him. “It’s our street?” Are you not concerned about getting squished? The rest of the humans he’d been shooing to safety are crowding together, staring back at him and whispering nervously. How can getting tiny organics to safety be illegal? ‘Aren’t you worried about getting stepped on?’

• Remembers your words. The soft way you’d asked why he kept coming back, the words tired and empty. Like you can’t even be angry with him anymore. Maybe you don’t even care. Didn’t scent anyone on you, but he can never bring himself to ask if you’re seeing someone new. If you’re happier without him. But you didn’t look happy. Frustrated as he banks, veering off course, his thrusters scream. Adding speed to make up for losing time. Making that detour to check on you even though he wants to stay away. To let you live your life. Without him.

• Tries to limit the check-ins to a couple times a month. To not stick to any kind of fixed schedule even though he doesn’t want to go back. It hurts to see you, hear your voice, scent you. To have you right there and so far away. Why can’t he just admit he made a mistake? That he loves you. Every time he thinks about saying the words, panic lifts through him at being that vulnerable. At putting himself out there and possibly getting shut down. And why would you ever say yes after he abandoned you without even a reason? Hadn’t been able to come up with a single good reason why he was breaking it off. Hadn’t been able to admit to being scared. To worrying what others would think.

• Back aching as you stack boxes, you stretch in the cool morning air. And watch a jet high overhead leave a contrail in its wake. Feeling that familiar ache twist through you as you stare. Know it’s not him, but you watch until you lose the shape to the tree line. Chest hurting, you turn away to grab the next box. Keeping yourself busy so you don’t think about him. Don’t fall down that rabbit hole of trying to figure out what you did wrong, why you weren’t enough. Why he couldn’t love you.

• Transforming as he lands on the concrete, his wings flex as he surveys the airport without being too obvious about looking for you. Spotting a group of humans in bright clothing clustered near an old plane as a man goes over jump safety even though most of them are staring at him. Clearing his vents in amusement, because only humans would jump out of a perfectly good aircraft when they can’t fly. And it’s not you coming to sullenly bring him energon. It’s the older man you work with. “You know you ran off my best employee? Hope you’re happy,” the man grumbles and he stills. Before asking where you are and the man laughs. “They’re long gone. Moved away to avoid you.”

• Likes how you look dappled in sun and shade under the trees, hair messy and that tension you seem to carry like armor gone. Like out here you can relax. “Do we have to go back?” You ask and he vents softly. ‘Not, yet,’ he says. Watches your head lay back, staring at the world upside down and he eases down beside you, staring up through the leaves as a bird sings from nearby. ‘If we did, we’d miss the fireflies,’ he adds looking over at you and catching your smile.

• It’s somehow easier to breathe out here with him. Watching clouds slowly drift by through the leaves, it’s peaceful. No pressure. No stress or demands. No hands reaching for you, pulling you down with the weight of their expectations and needs. And that’s why you love him, you realize. Because he never asks for anything from you. Just lets you be there with him without wanting anything more than your time. “It’s not too late to do it the human way. A party and cake,” he offers and you just shake your head.

• “I like your way better,” you whisper, hearing thunder in the distance and your breath catches at the feel of the summer rain pattering suddenly through the leaves. Rolling to your feet, you spread your arms and tip your face up to the sky. Aware of him watching you without judgement. Smiling affectionately as you delight in something so simple as the way the air tastes, green and alive with the rain. You couldn’t do this with anyone else without fear of people looking at you funny. Asking you to grow up. But with him, you can just be you. You don’t have to keep up an act.

• Venting in amusement because he knows you and knows you’re going to binge watch that filth until you fall asleep. Mass shifting and setting the mini datapad aside, he bends and hooks an arm around you as you groan against his neck. Protesting even though he knows you love bath time. Carrying you to the mini wash rack he’d had set up, he eases you onto your feet. “Come on, lazy human,” he coaxes as he turns on the water and adjusts the temperature where you like it. Rumbling when you walk over and your forehead bumps against his back, he shakes his head. “Don’t be that way,” he laughs as you groan again. Louder.

• You’re tired, though. Not that you’ve done a whole lot. Playing bar mascot isn’t exactly taxing. You mostly smile and chat with the regulars and tolerate them poking treats at you and asking very inappropriate things. Know you’re a novelty and most of them have never seen a human before. Leaning back when he turns and hooks a servo in the collar of your loose garment, you huff but strip for him. Letting him back you into the stall and immediately relaxing in the warm spray. “Thanks,” you mumble, yawning.

• “I have to take care of you, because otherwise, who’s going to take care of me?” He asks, working a scented cleanser into your hair as you make a soft noise of pleasure that twists through him with heat and need, but he can feel your field sinking into him. Can feel that you’re not interested right now, too tired to respond to his touch. ‘You are pretty hopeless,’ you mumble and he clears his vents, amused. And your eyes are half closed, but you always get drowsy and relax when he brushes his servos against your scalp or the back of your neck.

• “You’d take care of me if our roles were reversed,” he murmurs, sliding the wrapped ice a bit and watching you shiver. Hates that there’s not much he can do. Applying heat or cold where the pain is the worst, but otherwise he’s useless. Can’t make it stop, but he can lessen the pain. Easing himself down beside you, your head turns to face him, eyes tired. Reaching out, his servos interlink with your fingers and you smile, your field needling him with your discomfort.

• Watching him bring your linked fingers to his mouth before he kisses your fingertips, your eyes unfocus when warmth washes into you and the familiar pain is muted some, his optics going pinched. “You don’t have to. I’m used to it,” you say and he vents softly, the feeling of waves of him washing into you making you think of the ocean, of the tide running in around your ankles. ‘You shouldn’t have to be used to it,’ he counters.

• Keeping your fingertips against his lips, the discomfort is worth watching you slowly exhale and finally relax as he takes some of the hurt. Halving it by sharing it. Knows you’d do this for him if he’d allow it. You’d try to help him. And the ice is starting to help, numbing the hurt as he pushes his field more firmly into you. Trying to keep you in that space where you’re not overwhelmed with pain. “Thank you,” you whisper, lashes spiky with tears and he leans to brush his mouth against your temple.

“What about you, handsome? I can get you some drinks in the house as well.”

Ladies would talk to him often. But he usually ignores them. 

“Ah, I see. Interested in our Redstar? She’s been staying exclusive for a while, no mech is good enough for her it seems. Even when she has a  bunch of proposals.”

But this was something Starscream wanted to know. 

“Nah,” Thundercracker said. “Star is not interested in anyone—-”

Starscream didn’t part optics away from you but decided to get more information. 

“How many?” Starscream asked. The urge to take you away from that mech growing more intensely. “Are they from upper castes?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know Star-boy?” the lady said. “Maybe next time don’t ignore a woman when she is talking to you.”

She left with a cocky smile on her face. Walking by as other mechs begged for her attention. 

“Wait, you actually like Redstar?” to Thundercracker, this was good news. Strange but good. He had never known Starscream to like someone. Let alone, show clear interest. Except for that time, with that mech ….

“Never said that,” Starscream said. “She’s just … interesting.”

“But that’s the thing! You never find anyone interesting! And like how did it even happen? You’ve never even talked to her—”

To his words, Starscream breaks his gaze on you. Only to finally look at Thundercracker. 

Red lights were predominant in the club. So much that Thundercracker’s bright blue plating was not distinguishable. 

“I just do. Alright? It's just a weird feeling and I can’t get rid of it.”

He didn’t look so different from him now. Maybe that’s why you’ve never come to talk to him. Nor even glanced at him. He needs to be different. Stand out. Do something. 

“But you? Starscream, I never thought I would see the day you would fall in love with a bot much less a human!” Thurdercracker got closer to him as another server delivered their drinks. 

“I am not in love! Do not confuse it! I only desire the pleasure she can bring me.”

“I see,” the blue seeker said. “So you don’t mind her making out with that mech on the dance floor?”

His faceplate has never turned so quickly. He knew some of his cables probably ripped due to the movement. But at the moment, he didn’t care. 

The only thing that mattered is ripping the helm of the mech who dared laid a servo on you. But before he could stand up, Thundercracker quickly sat him down again on his seat. 

“Do not dare to make a tantrum! I am not taking any risks! If I lose my privilege to see Sweetcherry because of you, I’ll never forgive you!”

Starscream watched as your hands wrapped around the neck of the mech. Your hands softly caressing the back. His body is bent to be able to kiss you and the position looks so awkward. Only stupid mechs would do that. Only very, very, very stupid mechs would put themselves in such an embarrassing position. Kissing a human, just a stupid joke. 

And yet, at that moment he wanted to be a jester. 

But his processor told him not to. Not only that but he also couldn’t drag Thundercracker into this. The blue seeker  shouldn’t pay for his mistakes. 

But he also couldn’t stand watching this any longer.  

“You stay, I’ll go for a flight.”

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The flight was long. But after he decided to walk.

Why? He wasn’t completely sure. He always preferred to fly. But sometimes, he liked looking up at the tall buildings of Cybertron. 

Each one of them is a marvelous piece of work. Intricate and beautiful and some of them covered in green things that Starscream did not particularly like. 

Due to the Cybertron-Earth international relationships, Earth gave Cybertron, one of the universe’ rarest materials. Trees. Abundant on Earth, extremely rare in the rest of the universe. 

Trees created something called ‘Oxygen’ that allowed humans to breathe. 

Now they can walk freely around the streets of Cybertron. Well, certain streets. Their safety was first so some streets were made solemnly just for humans to walk around without being afraid of getting stumped by giant Cybertronians. Now he can’t enter some places.

And the places he can? He has to mass-displace. Using precious and expensive energon to simply go to the Seekers Headquarters. All just so he doesn’t step on some squishies. 

“When did we become so obsessed with these … squishies?” Starscream thought. “Now our whole society … revolves on making our planet comfortable for them.”

He doesn’t hate it. He just misses the old Cybertron. He misses being able to fly around freely. Now he has curfews because humans use their human-planes to fly around cybertron. Their planes are small. Nothing compared to the size of a seeker. It's dangerous if a seeker and a human-plane were to fly in the same area. Seekers fly as they please, there’s no autopilot. They make turns, tricks and all kinds of movements when flying. They do not pay attention if they crash into a small human-plane, mostly because they wouldn’t even feel the impact.

And humans flying inside Cybertronians with airplane modes was absolutely out of the question. That was an extremely intimate act, reversed for sparkmates.

Now he is forced to fly two hours a day. And to seeker … That’s torture. 

If he could, he would just ban every human from entering Cybertron. If the Cybertronians like humans so much then they should just go to Earth with them. 

Those are his thoughts. More reason why he can’t believe he has a weird infatuation for you.

He should hate you, despise you. So why? Why is you the only thing he can thinking of—

“It's a beautiful sight isn’t it?”

He froze. He looks down. 

“We don’t have views like this on Earth. Just endless oceans and skies.”

He can’t speak.

“Actually, your alt-mode is a plane right? You would love Earth, plenty of room for you to fly around. No upside-down skyscrapers hanging from the sky to be aware of.”

And then, suddenly, he can.

“Well, I like the skyscrapers.”

That was you. 

And his words came out more harsh than he expected. 

“I see. Well, they are beautiful.”

Starscream looks at you and he can’t believe you actually spoke to him. And he can’t believe he is talking about fucking buildings. They are marvelous but you are here and they cannot compare to you. 

“I know,” he said, his gaze heavy on you. “I know.”

“Alright?” 

Again. It sounded harsh.

“Anyways, um, I gotta go. I don’t want to miss the last Lightspeed Transport to Earth,” you said. Starting to walk away. “Nice talking to you. Goodnight.”

“Say something. Say something you stupid piece of shit. Say something. Anything. This is your chance. Take it. Say. Something. You idiot.”

“My name is Starscream!”

He yelled at the top of his lungs. He immediately looks away. Embarrassed. Not daring to look at you. Purely out of embarrassments. Are you scared of him now? 

“You are … fragile and small.”

“.... I know?”

He doesn’t know if he should simply shut up. To simply give up and let you go. But that’s not like him. 

“I shall escort you to the Speedlight Transport,” he said. “It’s late. You might need protection.”

“From stalking bots like you?” you ask sarcastically. “I recognized you from the club. Sorry, I didn’t tell you earlier.  I was just curious about you … you didn’t seem like you were enjoying yourself earlier. Thought you might I don’t know, might do something not safe and—”

Starscream couldn’t believe it. Were you … worried about him? A complete stranger? That’s why you approached him? Or was it a simple coincidence?

He let out a small laugh and looked away. The irony of all of this. It was stupid. 

“Is there something funny?”

“No, pardon me. I find it amusing that a little creature like yourself worries about someone 20 times your size. It's fascinating,” he said.  “As it is stupid.”

“Oh, well then! Sorry to bother you with my stupidity,” you immediately turned around and began to walk away from him. Faster this time. “I’ll make sure it never happens again!”

“Wait, I didn’t mean it like that—”

He walks towards you, a servo extending to stop you but then you face gim again. Your fierce gaze makes him stop on his tracks.

“Goodbye, Starscream.”

And you walk away. 

Leaving him alone with his very, very, very complicated feelings. 

He wants to fall to his knees and scream. But that would be humiliating. He will never do something like that for anyone. Especially a human. You should be obsessed with him and may be over time, he will accomplish just that. 

But for now, he will simply keep his thoughts to himself.

“She said my name!”

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A.N: ****Speedlight Transports are basically trains that go into a Spacebridge that takes humans instantly to Earth.