local dumbass

my life was never the same after reading “the only trick of friendship, i think, is to find people who are better than you are. not smarter, not cooler, but kinder and more generous, and more forgiving and then appreciate them for what they can teach you and try to listen to them when they tell you something about yourself no matter how bad or good it might be, and to trust them, which is the hardest thing of all. but the best, as well”

girl who is sitting in a chair quietly with a neutral expression actually screaming very loudly in her head

what's the matter honey? you've hardly touched your fleeting experience of time on earth

pretty sure i could romanticise anything, i am deeply delusional.

actually, sir, my favorite hobby is committing blasphemy and horrific sins in the eyes of god

washing your face is actually multi tasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair

the fact that tolkien started writing lord of the rings, realised that the entire concept of the one ring made various plot elements of the hobbit fall to pieces, and dealt with this by saying 'the reason this makes no sense is because the hobbit is from bilbo's perspective and he fudged the truth' is already extremely powerful. but then he actually went the extra mile and re-released the book as essentially the same book but with the plot holes fixed and said 'please enjoy this Objectively True version of this story, untainted by bilbo's mischievous lies' like what a flex. absolute madlad

me @ my female ancestors: girl help 

classic scifi novels by men r always like. page 1 here’s a cool scifi idea i had. page 2 i hate women so much it’s unreal

i love you mango i love you peaches i love you raspberries i love you strawberries i love you pineapple

A little cheese some fruit some tea THATS an afternoon