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@auntiesocks

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How do we start conversations about suicide? Watch our interview with Dr. Christine Moutier from American Foundation for Suicide Prevention as we learn more about suicide prevention, seeking help, and taking care of ourselves throughout the process.
Witches, self care is everything! Friendly reminder š
I needed to see this :) time to spread it to others who may need it too!

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Iām going to give you the best piece of Adult Life Is Hard advice Iāve ever learned:
Talk to people when things go to shit.
I donāt just mean get it off your chest, although thatās good. I mean: Somethingās wrong with your paycheck/you lost your job/you had unexpected emergency car repairs and now youāre broke so your credit card payment is late. Like, not just 15 days late. Weāre talking, shit got crazy and now youāre 90 days late with compounded interest and late fees and the Minimum Payment Due is, like, $390, and youāve got about $3.90 in your bank account. Call the credit card company.Ā
I know itās scary. I know you feel like youāre going to get in trouble, like youāre gong to get yelled at or scolded for not having your life together. But the credit card company isnāt your parents; theyāre just interested in getting money from you. And you canāt squeeze blood from a stone or money from someone who doesnāt have any. So what you do is you call them. You explain youāre experiencing temporary financial hardships, and youāre currently unable to bring your account up to date, but you donāt want to just let it get worse. Can you maybe talk to someone about a payment plan so you can work something out? Nine times out of ten youāll be able to negotiate something so that at least itās not just taking a constant, giant shit on your credit score.
- Canāt pay your power bill? Call the power company.
- Canāt pay your full rent? Talk to your landlord.
- Had to go to the hospital without insurance and have giant medical bills looming in your place? Call the hospital and ask if they have someone who helps people with financial hardships. Many do.
- Got super sick and missed half a semester of class because flu/pneumonia/auto-immune problems/depressive episode? Talk to your professor. If that doesnāt help, talk to your advisor.
You may not be able to fix everything, but youāll likely be able to make improvements. At the very least, itās possible that they have a list of people you can contact to help you with things. (Also, donāt be afraid to google things like,Ā āI canāt pay my power bill [state you live in]ā because youād be surprised at what turns up on Google!) But the thing is, people in these positions gain nothing if you fail. Thereās no emotional satisfaction for them if your attempts at having your life together completely bite the dust. In fact, they stand to benefit if things work out for you! And chances are, theyāll be completely happy to take $20 a month from you over getting $0 a month from you, your account will be considered current because youāve talked to them and made an agreement, you wonāt get reported to a collections agency, and your credit score wonāt completely tank.
Hereās some helpful tips to keep in mind:
1. Be polite. Donāt demandĀ things; request them. Let me tell you about how customer service people hold your life in their hands and how many extra miles theyāll go for someone who is nice to them.
2. Stick to the facts, and keep them minimal unless asked for them. Chances are theyāre not really interested in the details.Ā āWe had several family emergencies in a row, and now Iām having trouble making the paymentsā is better thanĀ āWell, two months ago my husband wrecked his bike, and then he had a reaction to the muscle relaxer they gave him, and then our dog swallowed a shoestring and we had to take him to the emergency clinic, and just last week MY car broke down, and now my accountās in the negatives and I donāt know how Iām gonna get it back out.ā The person youāre talking to is aware shit happens to everyone; they donāt need the details to prove youāre somehowĀ āworthyā of being helped. They may ask you for details at a certain point if they have to fill out any kind of request form, but let them do that.
3. Ask questions.Ā āIs there anything we can do about X?āĀ āWould it be possible to move my payment date to Y day instead so itās not coming out of the same paycheck as my rent?ā The answer may beĀ āno.ā Thatās not a failure on your part. But a good customer service person may have an alternate solution.Ā
Anyway! I hope that helps! Donāt just assume the answer isĀ ānoā before youāve even begun. There is more help out there than you ever imagined.
Hey guys, this is an old post, but itās still relevant, and I thought Iād re-up it for living in COVID times when a lot of people are losing income. Donāt be afraid to toss that in when you call to ask for help!Ā āIāve experienced a loss of income due to COVID-19ā³ is gonna be all you need to say for most places, because wow let me tell you how much this is the case. A lot of places are setting up COVID-19 specific relief policies, so this may be even easier than normal.Ā
Good luck, stay safe, stay inside if you can, and wash your hands. <3Ā
Whatās going to make you happy right now? Is it some cake? Is it a nap? Is it calling your mom? Is it going on a drive and blasting music? Is it taking a bath? Is it reading a book?
Check in with yourself because you deserve that happiness, whatever it is.
I use this with my hospice patients a lot. Because "is there anything I can do to help?" rarely gets a response. But, "I'll be here till 6:30 and would like to do one thing to make your room more comfortable before I head out" frequently does get an answer. Often something they deem "too small to bug anyone with" like closing the blinds so there's no reflection on the tv, or repositioning their socks because the heels have wandered into the front and are uncomfortable, or they want ice cream before dinner today, or getting an extra blanket.
I also use this on myself. What's one thing I could do to make my environment more comfortable right now? Does it cure my mental illness? Hell no! Does it make me feel more in control of my feelings and the world around me? You betcha!
Art by Hector aka shitty watercolor
šššš
SORRY FOR THE VERY PERSONAL COMIC!!
This is my half ofĀ āUnhealthyā, an essay comic double header with the lovely and talented Sarah Winifred Searle. She and I both wrote about our personal experiences as overweight ladies with eating disorders, and her story is breathtaking! You can buy a physical copy of the book here:Ā https://topatoco.com/collections/abby-howard/products/ah-unhealthy
Or buy a digital PDF here:Ā https://abbyhoward.itch.io/unhealthy

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I figure out I had ADHD last year, but I didnāt seek an official diagnosis and medication until this year. Iām 30 years old, my school days are long behind me. I slipped through the cracks because I have predominately inattentive type and I was a quiet little girl. Having ADHD does not mean you have to be hyperactive and loud, it means you have a processing problem in your brain that doesnāt allow you to regulate your focus or emotions.Ā
Mental health even now is still taboo to talk about. People are more open now than ever about it however and that gives me hope.Ā
This is a profoundly personal comic and it only reflects my own experience with ADHD. It is on a spectrum with a wide range of personalities. But if my story connects with someone else and helps them, that would mean the world to me.
Honestly, I sometimes find the sheer amount of sexual/romantic/gender identities overwhelming. When I was in high school, all you ever heard about was gay, lesbian, and bi. Maybe an occasionalĀ ātransā but it was usually in front ofĀ ā-vestiteā (transvestite). We didnāt have all these other identitiesā¦
ā¦and Iām not saying that was a good thing at all, because I would have lovedĀ to have heard about asexuality and especially autochorissexuality back then. Oh, that would have been SO FUCKING USEFUL.Ā
But what I amĀ saying is that itās just hard for my old, withered brain to keep up sometimes. Like, I just reblogged that post aboutĀ āoriented aroaces.ā Whoof, thatāll take some getting used to.
BUT!Ā I will work on doing it! Because I donāt want anyone to feel like Iām invalidating them or the various facets of their identity. I donāt want to do that. I might screw up accidentally, but if I do? Just correct me, and Iāll keep working on it, and Iāll get it, eventually.Ā
And even if youāre not my MAJESTIC AGE, even if youāre younger (or older) and youāre having trouble with all of this?Ā
THAT IS ALSO OKAY.
It feels like - especially on Tumblr - that you have to KNOW YOUR IDENTITY and that it is then WRITTEN IN STONE (as soon as you put it in your bio). But none of that is true.Ā
Itās okay not to know. Itās okay not to be sure yet. Itās okay to put it in your bio⦠or not! Itās okay to sayĀ āIām _____ā even if youāre not really sure yet that it totally fits (thatās why I love words likeĀ āqueer,ā because not only does it cover a lot of bases at once, it keeps you from feeling like youāre required to specify yourself).
Remember that you donāt owe information about your sexual/romantic/gender identities to ANYONE you donāt want to give that information to (well, slight caveat: you might want to tell possible partners - in either the sexual and/or romantic senses - about that stuff).
Itās okay to realize some otherĀ ālabelā fits you better now. Itās okay to think,Ā āHey, maybe Iām not X, Iām actually Y.ā Itās okay to struggle if a long-time friend who has used This Name and These Pronouns for SO LONG suddenly changes them - Iām going through that with a friend of mine Iāve had for over a decade, actually. And sometimes I mess up - over 10 years of using One Set of Pronouns is hard to change! - but Iām getting better. I mess up less often now.Ā
You donāt have to be perfect. You donāt have to decide everything all at once. And you can change your mind on what decisions you do make.Ā
Itās called growing up human.
The most important thing is just to Be Kind. Be thoughtful and considerate, because weāre all struggling. Struggling to correctly identify ourselves, let alone everyone else around us.
Be Kind to Others, and, most of all, Be Kind To Yourself.
a brief primer for the hopeless days, pt. III:
āIt all matters. That someone turns out the lamp, picks up the windblown wrapper, says hello to the invalid, pays at the unattended lot, listens to the repeated tale, folds the abandoned laundry, plays the game fairly, tells the story honestly, acknowledges help, gives credit, says good night, resists temptation, wipes the counter, waits at the yellow, makes the bed, tips the maid, remembers the illness, congratulates the victor, accepts the consequences, takes a stand, steps up, offers a hand, goes first, goes last, chooses the small portion, teaches the child, tends to the dying, comforts the grieving, removes the splinter, wipes the tear, directs the lost, touches the lonely, is the whole thing. What is most beautiful is least acknowledged. What is worth dying for is barely noticed.ā
ā Laura McBride, We Are Called to Rise
ā Sandra Cisneros, A House of My Own
āI have a memory which I want to share with you. Itās about a secret practice of women, men, old people, children. We become aware of this practice obliquely, itās not something weāre looking for, and very quickly we take it for granted [ā¦] Consider human lives, their every-minute, every-day lives! Their lives depend upon an agreed regularity to which each contributes. Maintaining this regularity is the forgotten practice Iām talking about. It explains the arrival of the fruit in the market each day, the lights on the street at night, the letters slipped under the front door, the matches in a match box all pointing in the same direction, music heard on the radio, smiles exchanged between strangers. The regularity has a beat, very distant, often inaudible, and at the same time similar to a heartbeat. No place for illusions here. The beat doesnāt stop solitude, it doesnāt cure pain, you canāt telephone itāitās simply a reminder that you belong to a shared story.ā
ā John Berger, From A to X: A Story in Letters
ā Danusha LemĆ©ris,Ā āSmall Kindnessesā
āNo, somebody always needs to go first. I know this. I go first.ā
ā Jenny Slate, Little Weirds
āIāve never told you this,ā she said. āBut thereās something about taking the cart back instead of leaving it in the parking lot. I donāt know when this came to me; it was a few years ago. Thereās a difference between leaving it where you empty it and taking it back to the front of the store. Itās significant.ā āBecause somebody has to take them in.ā āYes. And if you know that, and you do it for that one guy, you do something else. You join the worldā¦You move out of your isolation and become universal.ā
ā Andre Dubus, āOut of the Snowā,Ā Dancing After Hours
āĀ Ross Gay, The Book of Delights
āIāve never managed to get used to seeing people die. Thatās all I know. Yet after allā" Rieux fell silent and sat down. He felt his mouth dry. āAfter allā?ā Tarrou prompted softly. āAfter all,ā the doctor repeated, then hesitated again, fixing his eyes on Tarrou, āitās something that a man of your sort can understand most likely, but, since the order of the world is shaped by death, mightnāt it be better for God if we refuse to believe in Him and struggle with all our might against death, without raising our eyes toward the heaven where He sits in silence.ā Tarrou nodded. āYes. But your victories will never be lasting; thatās all.ā Rieuxās face darkened. āYes, I know that. But itās no reason for giving up the struggle.ā
ā Albert Camus, The Plague
ā Charles Schulz,Ā Peanuts, May 11, 1956
ā Philip Larkin,Ā āAn Arundel Tombā
while weāre at thisĀ āi want a gf/bfā trend, iād like to say that itās important to remember to please not mistake your need toĀ fulfill years ofĀ loneliness and neglected love for a real desire to be in a relationship.
itās risky not only for your partner to be with someone who wants them to compensate all the love they didnāt have, but itās absolutely dangerous for you to jump into any opportunity to date and to be given affection, because you might end up dating people who will not only take advantage of you, but might hurt you as well.
having a partner and sharing affection is an amazing experience, but itās something that takes work, time and maturity. sometimes, youāre just not ready for it yet - but that doesnāt mean youāll never be. take a deep breath: love will come to you just in time!

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whatever it is you need good luck for, i wish you good luck. tests, job, home life, social life, mental health, physical health, love life. you name it. this post is wishing you good luck on all of that.