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it’s strawberry cake day and I accidentally almost mixed up the recipe (a made up recipe mind you) and it’s not even bimbo hours yet 💓✨🍓🍰

There are a ton of different things I see said that make me roll my eyes, but here are a few that have stuck with me over the years:

“You should eat so much that you gain five pounds tonight”

Friend. That’s not how bodies work. The amount of weight you can actually gain in one day is different for everyone, but it’s pretty safe to use the rule of thumb: 1lb per day maximum. Weight gain is caused by consistent calorie surpluses, not so much by occasional overindulgence. If you want someone to grow, encourage them every day, not just once in a while when you’re horny.

This one isn’t a specific quote, but eating goals that are unclear or unrealistic. “Mmm, keep eating. Yup. Keep going.” Okay. To what end? “You’re going to eat three extra large pizzas” no, I’m not. “How about 5,000 calories for a light snack?” You’re out of your fucking mind. It sends such a clear message that you have no clue what you’re doing when you interact with feedees like this.

“I want you to eat so much that your belly button goes from an innie to an outie”

Nope. Not even close to a thing that happens. If it does, you probably have a hernia. Or you have some other condition that has caused fluid buildup.

“Wow, you’re almost 300lbs? You’re gonna need a scooter once you get there”

What? I’m less than 25lbs away from 300 and I walked MILES in downtown, hilly Seattle last weekend. There are literally 500lb gainers who are walking (waddling) around with relatively few troubles. Please understand that when a gain happens gradually, mobility is far less impacted than in extremely quick gains. Also, I’m six feet tall. I can seriously pass for an average build in public if I want to. Please work on understanding how weight works on people.

Angry GF gets mad that you keep bringing her food thats making her fat.

In this clip, Rylee gets mad at you for making her so fat by constantly buying her all this fattening food, while she eats her biggest McDonald's stuffing yet, 2x double quarter pounder BLTs, a large fry, and large milkshake, totalling well over 2000 calories in a single sitting. No wonder shes getting so fat 🥵

If you're into death/dark feedism

That's bad enough!!!!!!!! But the entire idea of needing permission from state authorities to access anything labeled mature by our friendly AI overlords is some fucking Boll shit. Die Gedenken Sind Frie baby. This is all a reaction to people getting uppity about their lowly lowly rights and is being propped up by the same bad actors tht have made life unlivable. Fuck that shit.

"Well it's only being rolled out in Brazil and UK" Yeah, to start. "Well they're being forced to do this by laws." YOu know it's always really funny when these tech giants (Or whatever you call owning tumblr dot com) get really antsy about laws considering they pick and choose which ones they abide by.