L'Exquisite Douleur

LOOK AT THIS FANTASTIC PICTURE I FOUND TODAY

me,swimming:wow this is amazing i love the ocean

we thought we could fall in love and it would all go away it was wonderful, oh so wonderful we sedated ourselves with the idea that we could cure each other and when we couldn’t, when we discovered that our old wounds were still open and festering I cried, and you cried, and we learnt the hard way; that you must search for love within yourself, not outside yourself and only then will you be set free.

I think a lot about killing myself, not like a point on a map but rather like a glowing exit sign at a show that’s never been quite bad enough to make me want to leave. See, when I’m up I don’t kill myself because holy shit, there’s so much left to do! When I’m down I don’t kill myself because then the sadness would be over and the sadness is my old paint under the new, the sadness is the house fire or the broken shoulder: I’d still be me without it, but I’d be so boring.