love is real

i'm feeling really proud of myself because today i confronted my mom on dismissing and insulting me and when she did the whole shitty "i'm sorry you took it that way" i immediately responded with "that is NOT an apology, you're saying i'm feeling the wrong way about this" and she tried all her tricks but i absolutely was not having it. AND! the best part is that 10 years ago this would have destroyed me! and i'm feeling totally fine baybeeee

parenting has me alternating between two stances when it comes to my baby's more challenging traits/behaviours: 1. this is annoying the fuck out of me and i am taking deep breaths to get through this moment; 2. this is teaching me how to love both him and myself better and i would never have experienced this specific moment of love without this trait/behaviour

every time i set a boundary with my mom she gets sick. it's insane

exactly a year ago at this time i was exhilarated and exhausted and bleeding and cuddling my poop- and blood-crusted baby at the birthing centre. my friend who came for the 8pm-12am "shift" was there explaining how to breastfeed and giving me the most hands-on no-nonsense tutorial possible

i was wrangling baby to get him dressed for the park and i asked my mom to grab his blue boots from the hallway. and so from the hallway she responded, "is it blue or is it a boot?" and i was like "the only boots he has" and she came back carrying. brown shoe.