Henlo

truly wild that art threatened murderbot and then told it not to sulk, to which it replied um actually murderbots don't sulk because we would get horrifically tortured [governormodule.png] and art was silent for the processing equivalent of about ten minutes before it was like ah. ok. i did not realise you were extremely traumatised,

I can see now that “oh fuck I’m gonna soak my jorts” was not an acceptable response to seeing how much pork shoulder I can get for 20$. I’m listening to the grocery shopping community and holding myself accountable.

Did he delete this? Because I can’t see it.

I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.

this post is the only thing I will ever recommend as pre Finnegans wake preparatory reading. It gives you a better sense of the prose than any description could

according to some sources real asexuality has never been tried

*street shot of zohran mamdani clad in nasty lil suit and hard hat* five months ago i was elected mayor of new york city. in that time, we have managed to COMPLETELY defeat the Staten Island Minotaur at no additional cost to the new york taxpayer

everyone talks about how strong and great Aragorn was for refusing the ring when Frodo offered it to him as if this man has not spent his entire life dodging leadership and responsibilities like bullets in the matrix 🙄

Hi, its me. The warmest creature in the world. I love you. Im the warmest creature in the world and I love you so much and I need to be in your lap right now. Yes, I know about the heat wave. That's okay though because I was already the warmest creature in the world so I don't mind. I love you and you need to let me sleep in your lap right now. I'm soooo warm and I love you sooo much. If you say no you'll be saying no to a thing that love you. Let me sleep in your lap. When I fall asleep I get warmer. I love you

it’s never a normal temperature anymore it’s always some fucking bullshit

women around the world heed my call. your comfort above everything. dont put on those shoes that hurt after walking in them for 30 minutes dont wake up 1 hour and a half earlier to put on make up or do your hair dont tolerate a man talking down to you dont follow trends you dont care for dont let yourself feel hungry dont go places or do things to please someone else and most importantly. try that hobby or class or job that you think you will fail at.

remember when websites were written on purpose, and not generated by autocomplete in the instant you run the web search? anyway, unrelated, this webpage purporting to relay expert knowledge on which plants are safe for my snake's tank just told me I would know if he was biting them and getting irritated because he would start pawing at his mouth.

i mean, that sure would be a sign something was wrong

the plant that makes you grow extra legs

you are alive on a planet with insects and whales and diatoms and mycelium networks and puppies and your human friends. literally so awesome to be a living thing

executed for the crime of asking me stupid shit in this hot ass weather

sentencing will be carried out at dawn because it's the only time it isn't too facking hot to be out side

i need to get off tumblr i’m at the aquarium admiring the fish and my brain goes “posts that make you want to get in the water” what are you talking about. these are live fish in the room with you. what post.