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thinking about self harmer sam winchester getting caught by dean and instead of helping dean grabs whatever blade sam is using and starts doing it for him 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 send post
things I think Sam and Dean would have a hard time with because of how they grew up:
Riding bikes: transporting bikes by car is a pain in the ass so John would have never bought the boys their own bikes bc of frequent movement. Also money on “useless” things. If anything I think young Dean would have stolen a bike from some asshole kid and tried to teach himself (and then Sam) to ride it but I don’t think it would have worked out.
using a vacuum: at least not until they are older, like 16-18 (I think that’s late but I learned when I was eight so it might be on time??) motel rooms never have their own vacuums in the rooms. When they’re renting a place longer term I doubt John would be okay with spending money on a big device when they could “just use a damn broom”
putting the toilet seat down: biased but I lived with four boys for most of my life and if there isn’t a girl constantly getting on their case about putting the seat down, it won’t happen. I think the boys just wouldn’t think about it until one of Dean’s girlfriends mentions it and they both have this flash moment of ‘wait it that a thing’ <- a thing I think would happen very frequently to the boys in their teenage years
reading: mostly when they’re young, especially Dean. Many schools and states overall will have different standards for reading and how reading is taught. The constant switching of curriculums is very unhelpful. A big part of learning that young is also doing extra reading practice at home with someone else. I don’t think John would have been there enough for Dean as a dad in those crucial reading years (4-8). But I think Dean would have turned around and helped Sam all that he could with reading.
Knowing when it is appropriate to say something: when someone is young they do a lot of observational learning about when and where is is okay to say certain things (ex: cussing, secrets, family values). With John (any maybe pastor Jim and Bobby, but less so) as their main teacher (and incredibly skewed at that) I think the boys would struggle with things like cussing in front of their kindergarten teacher or telling other kids that their dad keeps a dozen shotguns in the trunk of their car.
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Weirdcest where Dean tries to convince one of his hookups to let Sam watch, and when she asks how long they’ve been together, Dean’s eyebrows scrunch up and he pulls his “wtf” face and says: “we’re just brothers. Why the fuck are people always asking if we’re together.” The girl is like “well, maybe they’re asking since you’re trying to score a threesome with him?” To which Dean rolls his eyes and is like “it’s not a threesome, he’s just *watching.* Ugh, you could have just said you’re a prude” and walks away all annoyed.
i don't think john would directly force a teenager dean into prostitution, but he would totally give it a blind eye and never ask where the money came from so yeah hooker dean is still pretty much alive in my head 😭
When Sam is high on Ruby’s blood they fuck like the animals they are.
Sam looms over Ruby, caging her to the bed in a waterstained motel. Ruby screams in pleasure while Sam hammers into her. Hopefully the noise complaint they get later isn’t too bad.
Dean’s amulet swings restlessly from Sam’s neck.
Back and forth and back again. Every time it passes Sam’s eyeline, he is reminded of what he’s lost.
A brother. A caregiver. A lover.
He’s reminded that he's drilling into some demon bitch. Not his Dean. Not into the person he loves.
The high of Ruby’s blood is beautiful, but the fall is fast and harsh. Leaves Sam thinking. Remembering. He’s trying not to remember right now.
Sam leans down, placing his teeth right above Ruby’s collarbone and bites down. Hard.
“Ah fuck, Sam,” Ruby sputters out. Usually he’d mutter back an apology. But, usually he’s with Dean.
His canines break skin and extract the taste of her blood. A feeling of calm rushes over Sam as his jaw grips harder into Ruby. After a few more seconds Sam lets up and moves to kiss Ruby. A bit of blood still on the corner of his mouth. Ruby’s plight is forgotten as the two connect.
In their brief separation, Ruby starts to make her own way down Sam’s neck. Leaving rough bites in the places Dean would have left soft kisses. Her mouth traces down Sam’s neck as her tongue finds the black cord of Dean’s amulet. Ruby’s lips slide down the string until she reaches the titular pendant, taking it in her teeth. Ruby locks eyes with Sam, a coy smile reaching her face while her teeth lightly tug Sam towards her by the necklace.
Ruby thinks she’s being sexy. Sam is just reminded of who she is.
Angrily he drives harder into Ruby. She drops the necklace and grunts about how Sam doesn’t have to be so rough. Sam couldn’t give a damn. If Ruby were Dean, Sam would have stopped the second she raised alarms.
But Ruby isn’t Dean. She’s just a dealer who happens to be a good fuck.
Ruby didn’t risk everything for Sam. Ruby didn’t raise Sam up like he was her own child. Ruby didn’t die to protect Sam. Dean did all those things. And Ruby wasn’t Dean. No one was. No one ever would be.
Dean was never coming back. Sam would never be stuck in a shitty motel with Dean again. Never roll into a half decent diner with Dean. Never fall asleep fucked out and happy in Dean’s arms again.
Sam came harsh and unloving in Ruby a few minutes later. The second he was done, Sam got off of Ruby and dressed in the rumpled clothes he’d dropped on the floor. He left Ruby naked, unsatisfied, and still bleeding a bit from her collar, on the bed while he opened the front door. Mumbled something about seeing her later. Slammed the door. Made the short walk to the Impala. And drove in the direction of the nearest bar.
Planning to drink a real, human substance. To drink his troubles away.
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was gonna make a post on another blog complaining about how my mom is convinced me and one of my guy friends will have sex after I repeatedly told her that’s he’s more of like a fourth brother to me. then I remembered that I post wincest fanfiction. so shit who knows.
john knows. of course, he knows. he’s not so blind he can’t see what’s under his nose, in the bed across from his, in the backseat of his own damn car. but it would be easier if he didn’t, so he pretends. he misheard them playing, too rough the way they always were. he was too drunk to see things right, whiskey’ll do that to a man.
Dean had four years without Sam. Sam never had a single second without Dean.
You can tell. The essence of Dean seeps into Sam’s being. Energy is never created or destroyed, only transferred.
Dean transferred himself into Sam.
Every time he spoke to Sam. Every time he ate with Sam. Every time he loved Sam within an inch of life.
Dean transferred himself into Sam.
In turn, Sam transferred himself into Dean
Every time he presented a new hunt to Dean. Every time he carefully patched Dean’s wounds. Every time he loved Dean within an inch of his life.
Sam transferred himself into Dean.
The line between the brothers starts to blur. Two distinct entities becoming a homogeneous mixture of a man. Although, how distinct they were to begin with is a muddy and messy pattering of a line.
One brother is so important to the life of the other, he can not live without his other half. Dean does not exist without Sam. Sam does not exist without Dean.
Two souls so closely intertwined, they are one. Too tightly knit together to ever be torn apart.
The angels know it. The demons know it. God himself knows it.
Why else do you think two creatures would have one Heaven? Linked forever and its afterwards. The eternal home of two, nestling comfortably into a house built for one.
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Sam who slowly let's things slip about Dean when he's drunk or high at Stanford. Sam who's friends have frequent chats to discuss what little crumbs they can get of his mysterious past.
Sam who didn't even mention having a brother for months, the thought too painful. Eventually admitting to Jess a couple years later that they don't talk anymore. His story matching up weirdly well to the one she had heard second hand from Brady of the rough breakup he had before coming to college when Sam had finally admitted why he constantly moped around like he was heartbroken.
Sam who gets a compliment for being a good kisser during a drunk game of spin the bottle and sweetly responds that Dean was a good teacher, not noticing the silence in response as the room is filled with the thought of, "I thought Dean was his brother?"
Sam who mentions not getting out much as a kid, his big brother liking to keep an eye on him. Who doesn't see the looks when he mentions showering with him or sharing a bed to save money.
Sam who will drunkenly ramble about how much he misses his brother, and how much he hates him- how he just wanted to be normal and why couldn't he get that.
Sam who jokes about being present for a lot of his older brothers sexual escapades when his roommate apologises for bringing a girl back when he thought he was out.
Sam who never got angry and defensive with his friends before, not till one of them joked that Dean seemed like a creep, not till the others pitched in that it did seem weird how close they were. Sam who got scarily tall suddenly, and went quiet, tense.
Sam, whose friends learnt not to mention all the weird things about his past and his brother.
Sam who learnt that as much as he wanted normality, he would never apologise for his closeness to his brother. And when he came to get him at Stanford, he relaxed in knowing he was back where he belonged.
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