Wearing my corset today and everyone at work thinks I'm an extra spooky goth bitch when actually my back is just sore and using it as a brace helps me rest

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@atowerdweller
Wearing my corset today and everyone at work thinks I'm an extra spooky goth bitch when actually my back is just sore and using it as a brace helps me rest

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not every mutual fits neatly into an archetypal medievalism but there are some mutuals that im like yeah addressing you as “my liege” would come strangely naturally
what mutual is prev
my liege lord
my loyal knight
my wise wizard
my evil advisor
my brother in arms
my lady muse
my wild mermaid friend
my fellow alchemist
my dashing rapscallion
my monstrous foe
Imagine being a Vampire with Alpha-Gal Syndrome
Michael, watching the massive parade of red flags that is David: Hi fun fact, colors do have meaning and there is a legit thing called color theory. Red does has more positive connotations than negative. Red is associated with more love, lust, passion than blood and death---
Some facts Sean shared, i am over the roof he replied! I hope some of you can use this
"Dwayne loves when Boss roughs him up" oh so Dwayne has David's name tattooed on him somewhere for SURE for sure
"Haha we tattooed Coronado on him so he can find his way home"
Michael's perception: funny joek
The Polycule: We Had A Tattoo Session After An Incident

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would you still be alive without modern medicine? looking back at your life, would you survive without any to the moment where you are now?
yes
no
barely
yes but it would affect me for the rest of my life
results
I'd have my knee fucked up forever alive but yeahhhhh
I need people to understand that the “No” should be much, much higher. 50% of children used to die before the age of 15, and we just went thru an airborne global pandemic. Everybody say “thank you” to vaccines and antibiotics, without which probably 75% of us would be dead.
Michael, watching the massive parade of red flags that is David: Hi fun fact, colors do have meaning and there is a legit thing called color theory. Red does has more positive connotations than negative. Red is associated with more love, lust, passion than blood and death---
I don't know if it's just me being in small fandoms, but fandom as a whole feels...really lonely as of late. People have split themselves up so much that they don't discuss things the way they did before, they just kind of post their stuff and leave and half their audience "consumes" it like "content". There's no comments, barely kudos, the only places fans talk with each other anymore are on private discord servers that no one ever finds out about...I don't know, I'm a bit of an old and I feel like I'm screaming out into the void for no reason at this point. Sure, "somebody" will like my stuff, but will I ever get to know about it?
I think about this kind of thing a lot, anon, and I think my generation (Gen X/xillennial) kind of did folks dirty a bit.
In our defense, we didn't know we were.
I'm an educator by profession, as well as on this hobby blog, and so I spend a lot of time thinking about how people learn things. A lot of learning is social, and a lot of it happens when parents teach their children.
When I was growing up, pre-internet, my parents taught me how to talk to other adults in our community, how to play with other children, how to order food in a restaurant, how to call a business and ask a question. They literally walked me through how to do all of that stuff and more because those were daily skills in the world at that time.
We've spent the last 20+ years talking about how kids today are "digital natives" - but have we spent enough time teaching kids how to keep a conversation going when you're not in the same room as the other person? How to leave a comment on a post by a person you don't know? How to show your appreciation to a content creator? What a content creator even is and how that differs from a fan creator?
I know there are a lot of jokes out there about different things that would kill a Victorian child, but I think what would actually be difficult for them would be the lack of rules and instructions that kids today receive from the adults in their lives.
I don't have kids myself, so maybe this is all just bullshit and I'm talking directly out of my ass. But a LOT of the time when I notice someone doing something 'wrong' it's because no one ever told them how to do it right.
I kind of suspect that might be part of what's happening in fandom these days. Combine the above with the fact that fandom got inundated with new members in 2020 during quarantine and lock downs, and it's not surprising to me that a large percentage of the people in fandom today don't approach things the way that we used to before.
i don't fault them for it. When fandom was smaller and the internet was new, we used to take the time to bring people in. But now, it feels like 'everyone knows XYZ' so why does it need to be taught? And with how fast things move, it's more rare for newcomers to lurk for a while before they dive into everything.
This is a very long answer to a problem that probably just needed a listening ear, but I hope what you take away from this is an understanding that you're not the only one who feels the difference. I see this same experience shared in the notes on my posts all the time.
There is no easy fix for the situation and it certainly won't be fast to change, but maybe if we mentor a bit more when we have the spoons to, we can shift the culture a bit? One fan at a time?
If you managed to get all the way to the end of this, do yourself a favour and leave a comment on a fic or reblog a post with some chatty tags. DM somemeone or tag them or send them an ask just to let them know you see them and you think they're cool.
Even if nothing happens as a result, you tried. And maybe you just made someone's day. 💗
Demographically, I have a fair amount in common with @ao3commentoftheday with the exception that I am a parent.
And my oldest child has entered online fandom.
Thankfully, my child and I don’t share fandoms (we both prefer it that way), but we did sit down to discuss how to maintain privacy and safety while also being friendly in online interactions. I taught my child about fandom red flags and green flags, from my experiences, and my child has since asked for my advice in terms of my child’s own fandom experiences and how to handle issues and concerns.
All that being said, I was surprised and confused when my child informed me that my child had not been leaving kudos or comments on AO3. Keep in mind, this child would read longfics for days, tell me how great the author’s writing captured the characters, etc.
“Why didn’t you kudos or comment if the fic was so good?” I asked.
While my child explained lack of ability to comment due to fic restrictions (my child has expressed not yet feeling ready to have an AO3 account even though my child is old enough and my husband and I would be fine with it), my child said kudos didn’t matter: “Who cares about one kudos?”
“The author cares. And, if the author for some reason doesn’t care, I know you care about doing the right thing. I think expressing appreciation for other people’s fanwork is the right thing to do. What do you think?”
My child went back and kudosed all stories read to that point.
But I’m just one parent. And it’s absolutely not the job of fandom to parent children. There’s an idea that the way we behave in real life is divorced from the way we behave online. There’s some merit to that in the form of maintaining privacy and boundaries online that might be different in person. When we’re talking about basic manners, though? Golden rule stuff? That’s what’s become lacking, and I hope it improves.
i do think that a lot of this is just the result of a lack of lurk moar attitude in fandom/the internet in general.
when i was a tween who first found fandom in the late 90s/early 2000s, people didn't explicitly teach me how to interact with fandom. i lurked for a solid year before i signed up for my own account on the forum i'd found. (i can still remember how the adrenaline coursed through me as i signed up for my own account--i felt tingy and more than a little ill!)
by that time, i had a very good sense of social norms there. i still made a few mistakes, and the more established members smacked me down in a matter-of-fact but not unkind way. but i'd learned by watching. hell, by the time i started actively participating, i knew all the inside jokes!
as op mentioned, i don't think that people lurk anymore, and my theory is that the rise of social media/web 2.0 created a different approach to web communities.
today, every site is presumed to be for every person. the entire point of the really big social media sites is that everyone is on them. (this is one of the things i hate about them btw because it results in context collapse. i do not want to talk to my third-grade teacher, my favorite cousin, complete strangers, and my fandom friends in the same voice, but that's another issue).
whereas in web 1.0, the internet was riddled with niche sites/communities. you had to go out and find your place (and sometimes it took a while!). once you found it, you were invested in becoming a part of that specific community, so you did the research (lurking) to find out how people interacted, what all the unspoken norms were. by the time you picked your handle and made your account, you just knew stuff.
i'm sure this was not true of everyone, but it was true of far more people at the time. people looked before they leapt.
there are many, many reasons that i think that fandom has suffered from the web 2.0 environment. the fact that creators/writers/actors and fans are all on the same sites using the same tags for general publicity and for fannish nonsense is a huge problem. the way that sites are so big that people feel that their contributions (as with kudos above) don't matter is a direct result of the way social media undermines community and makes everything a performance of whatever your late-capitalist brand is. the fast pace of those sites makes people think that interacting with older posts is a bad idea. the lack of filters of the kind that we had on livejournal where you could determine who saw what or even just the way that forums often made you join before you could see content created walls within which communities could grow (think frost and walls making good neighbors).
i know we can't go back to the assumptions that operated before social media. we have to explore other options. i love when people make psas here telling people about fandom norms and history! i think it's the best thing! and maybe at this point that is the only way to handle it.
tumblr and ao3 are very weird sites in that they straddle the web 1.0 and web 2.0 kinds of internet.
from web 1.0 they get the lack of algorithms, the way you have to make choices about what you see, chronological arrangements, and (on ao3) lack of ads, etc. tumblr has a slightly slower pace than most social media; ao3 has a much slower one.
from web 2.0, though, you get scale, centralization (which is both ao3's greatest strength and greatest weakness), and the fact that it takes little effort to locate these sites--anyone, no matter their level of investment in fandom, can just stumble on them.
so you end up having a lot of people who are not actually fannishly inclined (aren't invested in a gift economy, don't really understand that fandom is supposed to be fun, don't really get the creative urge etc.) interacting with people who are fannishly inclined, and it causes some really problems. especially with younger people whose experience of the internet is as a venue to signify and perform certain kinds of morality/coolness/trendiness that are at odds with what fandom has always been about. basically: you have a bunch of normies clashing with a bunch of nerds. (obviously the normie/nerd divide is a spectrum and not a binary, so i'm overstating, but still.)
when you have people who are coming to fandom from different angles--some people who are coming to it as a provider of content just like all other media in their lives, especially elsewhere online; some people who are coming to it as a participatory hobby wherein we build community around shared affection for [thing]--there's going to be lots of clashes and weirdness.
i kind of think that fans need to go back to create set-apart spaces for fandom to happen. note that i am NOT talking about gatekeeping. everyone who treats others with respect would be welcome. but just having fenced-off areas that are explicitly for certain kinds of fandom interactions. where we can basically have our party away from the normies, but other nerds who are younger or just getting in touch with their nerdiness can find us.
i'm not sure how we'd go about doing it. but i think smaller, more intimate internet spaces are really necessary for fandom to be enjoyable. for fandom to be fandom tbh.
One of the issues I sometimes have in conversations is that my threshold for warning, "I'm not an expert/I don't know that much about [subject]" is veeeeery different from some peoples'.
I'll be disclaiming shit because I haven't reread that specific text in more than a year and some folks are just out here making sweeping statements based on vibes and the recorded testimony of their uncle's pet parrot.

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Young Cathy and Heathcliff find a half staved unconscious Jane Eyre on the moors and poked her with a stick to see if she's dead. She isn't roused by their proding and they don't care enough to try and help her so it isn't mentioned in either book.
they put my blood through every test under the sun and yet nowhere in the pages and pages of lab reports do they tell me what my blood type is
your neutrophils absolute? 2.71. anion gap? why, that's 11! hemoglobin A1C? a solid 5.4. and don't fret, champ—your VLDL (calculated) is a cool 12. real fascinating stuff. hm? what's that? you want to know what kind of blood you have? like, so you won't have to look your next ER nurse in the eye and tell her you have no clue what type you have right after giving her a date of birth that confirms you are over 30 years old? psh, don't be silly! we can't tell you that! it's a ✨secret✨
do you know your blood type??
yes, I'm certain of it
I think my family told me what it was but I'm not sure/no recent test to confirm
no, I have no clue
I don't have blood/results
spin the whump trope wheel
opinion on the trope you got?
love it, a favorite
like it
neutral, depends
not really my thing
hate it
nuance
results
Taking my white eyelet lace overbust corset with shoulder straps to the dry cleaners because I'm in the mood to wear it for reasons that are definitely not fandom-related
dear everyone on tumblr who needs to host images elsewhere (e.g. to embed on ao3 etc), please give squidge a go!! it's free, it's nonprofit and it's geared towards fandom so nsfw images won't get deleted!! and please stop using imgur if you can because they blocked the uk rather than acquiesce to the fucking internet safety laws, which I can't really hold against em but it does mean all imgur pictures just show up as big purple boxes now
Squidge! Holy blast from the past, Batman. The last time I remember even looking at that site was... eons ago.
( Oh, what was I reading? The Quartz Key. Yes, it's m/m. )
Not only is Squidge still around, it's expanded and grown! It is still run by the same guy, though now it's a nonprofit with a board and everything, and while they maintain all the old squidge sites as static archives, they have a new multifandom archive using the AO3 code at squidgeworld.org. They also host podfics and fanart.
For those younguns in the crowd, back in the day erotic fanworks--especially slash--was not welcome very many places. Walter was willing to host it, and has been a haven for NSFW fanworks since 1994. The various archives and so on hosted at squidge.org were never very large, compared to lots of other archives, but they were a necessary part of the fannish ecosystem, and I'm really glad that there is now a structure in place to keep the whole system running beyond just "Walter's a great guy willing to donate lots of time and money." Walter is a great guy! but like. it's good to have other people to help out and keep things going in the long run.

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Chapters: 1/10 Fandom: The Lost Boys (Movies), The Lost Boys - Hoch/Hornsby/The Rescues, Fright Night (1985), Bit (2019) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: David/Michael Emerson (Lost Boys), Izzy/Laurel (Bit), Past David/Star, Star/Supernova, Charley Brewster/Sam Emerson Additional Tags: Crossover, longfic, Gaslighting, Curses, monster hunting, Reunions, substance use, Everyone Has a Past, It's Free Character, Trans Allan Frog, Trans Marko, characters with disabilities, Vampires Have Weird Freaky Sex And Are Generally Poly, PTSD, Canon Trans Character, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Ensemble Cast, COVID-19, The authors sift through several decades of trauma using vampires Series: Part 1 of You Must Remember This Summary:
In the Summer of 2020, Michael Emerson is headed to Los Angeles to hunt vampires. On his way down the coast, he stops off in Santa Carla and reopens old wounds.
In the Summer of 2020, Laurel's inherited clan of vampire girls are trying to figure out how to stay un-alive without killing anyone, and their former leader Duke is not happy about being imprisoned.
In the Summer of 2020, Charley Brewster is about to find out that half of the assumptions he's made about how his life works are incorrect.
Everyone has a past; vampires have more than most. And the scars left behind can change everything.
Updates every other Monday
********
New fic new fic new fic! And it’s a long one, covering ~200 years of vampire nonsense :) We hope you like it.
(There’s a notes chapter if you’re not sure you can hang with the crossover elements, too!)
"This is tea I made with my own hands. Why don't you want to drink it?" Jin Guangyao pushed the teacup away once more, explaining in a kind tone, "it's precisely because you made the tea with your own hands that I don't dare to drink it."
thanks @madtomedgar for the inspiration, you were so right about this
You would reject the tea that Xue Yang made with his hands? Because you dislike to see him using them? You hate that he has overcome his injuries? This is truly another way the world has wronged him.