i dreamt i was an idiot

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More than 7000 people have been detained. They started to release them slowly and all the prisoners talk about how they were tortured, beaten, bones and spines broken, they couldn’t get any food for days and so on. People don’t receive any medical treatment there and are dying in the hospitals after they are released from detainment. And of course, the government denies everything.

PLEASE HELP TO SPREAD THE INFO IT’S OUR ONLY HOPE

You can find more info here: 1 , 2, 3

Families and friends of these people still don’t know where they are and are they alive or not.

Another drawing of Beck I forgot to post

 So, let’s all say something nice about our writing, or in the very least something neutral. Instead of ‘Sorry, this is probably terrible lol’ try ‘I had fun working on this piece’ or ‘Here it is, hope you enjoy it :)’ and see how doing this over time affects your way of thinking.

https://twitter.com/bwsgoIden/status/1291451215503556623

1. Check your Voter registration to make sure everything is up to date.  If you can, request a Mail-In Ballot.  I live in CO, where all elections are Mail-In only now, so I get one anyway.

2. Fill out your ballot per the instructions on your Ballot.  Some Notes:

Read Instructions thoroughly, and fill out your Ballot in private.

Do NOT post pictures of your Ballot as this may invalidate it.  DO Post pictures of your “I Voted” sticker.

Make sure to vote for all the offices up for election- as important as the presidential election is, your mayor, governer, local school board and sherrif have a MUCH bigger impact on your immediate safety and quality of life.  Google your candidates, look up the Leauge of Women Voter’s Guides for a reliably Impartial rundown of your local candidates. 

Remember also that it is better to have someone in office that is only moderately incompotent, than it is to have someone that actively wants you dead.  It is the first step to having someone worthwhile next time.

If you wanted a third party option, your local elections are the best place to do this- my own city council has several Green Party members and it got me city-sponsored single-stream recycling! Its also moving the state legislature significantly farther left.

3. INSTEAD OF MAILING IT- LOOK UP WHERE YOUR BALLOT DROP-OFF LOCATIONS ARE. 

They’re boxes you drive or walk or bus or bike or whatever up to and drop your ballot in, and the elections officials will have it that evening. Pros of Ballot Drop-Off:

Can be turned in the same day you reccive your ballot, if you want to get this over with ASAP

Open 24/7, so you can drop it off whenever

Absolutely guaranteed to get your vote counted, regardless of what Donald does with the Post Office.

No waiting in line

No exposing yourself to the coronavirus

Most cities will have several ballot Drop-Off locations, at places like the grocery store, the county courthouse, city hall, at high schools etc.  Google your town or county name and “Ballot Drop Off Locations” and it’ll give you directions even.

Charlotte Brontë eschewed marriage longer than most (writing to Ellen Nussey that she wished they could just set up a little cottage and live together) but she finally married at 38, became pregnant, and died before her 39th birthday. If she had married younger would Jane Eyre exist? I was reading that biography of Charity & Sylvia last month and comparing their life together in their little cottage to the life of their married female relatives, which was honestly hell on earth. One of Charity’s sisters had 18 children. Charity’s mother had 10 living ones, and probably some additional stillbirths. She gave birth to her first child age 19, in 1758, then to a pair of twins in 1760, then another child in 1761, another in 1763, another in 1765, another in 1767, another in 1769, another in 1771, another in 1774, another in 1777. Charity was the last child and her mother had been sick with tuberculosis for months when she became pregnant with her, and she died soon after giving birth.

I wish people would call this murder—this woman was murdered by her husband, like countless other women who do not ‘count’ as victims of male violence because straight sex is natural, pregnancy is natural, childbirth is natural. But when after 20 years of nonstop pregnancies this woman had tuberculosis and suffered from severe respiratory distress, severe weight loss, fever and exhaustion, and her husband impregnated her again, her death was expected. He must have known; he just didn’t care. This woman’s sister—Charity’s aunt—remained a spinster and outlived all of her married sisters by several decades, living well into her eighties. (Ironically, male doctors in her century asserted that sex with men was necessary for women’s health. The biographer quoted from a popular home health guide which said that old maids incurred grievous physical harm from a lack of sex with men.) And this aunt had the time and liberty to develop her skill for embroidery to such an extent that two museums still preserve her embroidered bed drapes. She accomplished something, she nurtured her talent and self. Her name was also Charity, and I find it interesting that Charity’s mother named her last daughter, whose pregnancy & birth killed her, after her childless, unmarried sister.

Käthe Butcher (German, b. 1990) – A Hug in the Garden, 2020.

Up-to-date as of April 7, 2018

Guess what? telling us to leave never works.

ever.

I could write a post about ways to help people leave.

I’ll probably do that one day.

AN ABBREVIATED GUIDE TO ‘holy shit my friend is in an abusive relationshit what do I do’

1. Don’t start shit with the abuser. Your friend? Will pay for it.

I once had a friend slap my abuser.

I am not going to tell you the price I paid b/c I’ve already puked once today and I would like to not do it again.

I once threatened a friend’s abuser.

I almost lost that friend over it.

Don’t do the thing.

2.  Understand that the abuser is going to be isolating them.

They may be telling your friend how terrible you are. Any slight- no matter how small will be played up into a big thing. and even if the friend doesn’t hold it against you- it will probably effect how much they reach out to you.

Abusers like to tell their marks things like ‘Oh? A missed your call. Its because they hate you and think you complain too much’

The best way I can tell you to combat that- is just… don’t hold it against them. If they withdraw, don’t be that person like ‘well if you really cared about me you’d have fought for me’ 

The people who helped the most were those that I felt like.. I could go weeks without talking to and then they’d still listen if I got the courage to come back around. 

If you can- work with them to try and schedule things so that they can have support without their abuser getting suspicious. School projects, open places. shit like that.

3. Don’t argue with them that shit is abusive.

Don’t be that person. It will make them feel unsafe with you.

The friends who argued were friends I lost. They were the ones it was easiest for him to make go. Cause here’s the thing… people view isolating as an abuser saying ‘you can’t talk to them!’ and a lot of times its not that.. its an abuser sitting down and saying in a real quiet voice ‘you two argue a lot, and they aren’t respecting you. But I’ll always be here for you okay?’  

The most you can do is say “hey.. you know you deserve better than that right?” and if they argue go “I’m not going to argue with you. I don’t want to upset you. 

4. If they ask for resources, help them get them.

Don’t offer them unless asked or it will turn into a fight and see above.

5. If they say they’re out of options- help them brain storm ones.

here’s an easy opening to ask if it’s okay to help them find resources.

don’t shove.

6. Be nice to them. consistently.

Too many people were too busy trying to convince me that he was a bad guy- that spending time with them just hurt…

and at least when I was with him it only hurt some of the time.

I got out because I had 4-5 good friends who I had good times with and I finally…. there was the light of ‘oh god this is what healthy relationships feel like. ‘

7. Don’t shove. Don’t pressure.

You can say “I’ll be here for you when you’re ready to leave”

You can remind them of this occasionally.

But don’t be a coercive dick.

Don’t be gross.

Don’t hurt people being abused.

That should not be that hard of a lesson.

Don’t say victim blaming shit to convince them to leave.,

Don’t threaten to leave them if they don’t leave.

Get it from

@sage-derby Yes!!!

Here’s a rundown of their general policy, from literally the first article I clicked on just now:

As you might be getting from that, they’re pretty intersex inclusive, too. Here’s a sample of something that’s a little more directly about sex-specific stuff in case you’re thinking “well but they said that was just about pleasure tho”:

They have a lot of sections on their site, but number two is Gender:

“That’s probably just like hetero gender dynamics stuff tho...” Nay nay! Here’s a few of the articles from the first page of their “Gender” section:

They have a disabled section with stuff for chronic pain. There was a link about navigating consent with non-verbal partners. This is an awesome resource, I've never felt so included.