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@atomicmouse11

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Imagine being a civilian on a Starfleet starship.
"How was your day, honey?" "Not great. Had to pick the kids from school early because the ship went back in time. There's a confused Roman centurion in the living room, btw. How was your day?" "Couldn't get much work done because Jerry got taken over by a space parasite." "Again?" "I think at this point he's doing it on purpose."
Child in the Enterprise daycare, drawing a picture entitled My Family: "This is me and this is my daddy and this is my daddy's transporter duplicate and this is my mommy and this is the subspace entity that poses as human that used mommy as it's template that calls itself her sister and this is our dog and this is the shape-shifting salt-vampire that snuck on board disguised as our dog but decided it likes dog food better than salt so now we have two dogs."
"And this is my brother Jacob."
"Why is he gray?"
"I tried to make him transparent to show how he doesn't fully exist in this timestream."
its not funny but i do think about it a lot
This made me think about this panel from Calvin and Hobbes:
But unlike the adult in this strip, Calvinâs dad actually APOLOGIZED for yelling at him when he saw how guilty his kid was:
My mother grew up within biking distance of Bill Watterson in Ohio and would like everyone to know:
âSnow Goonsâ like this are very real
If anything, Mr. Watterson has toned down the scale and horror of some them.

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Bill Watterson is an insightful dudeâŚ
Calvinâs dad is a radical anti capitalist.
Calvinâs dad is secretly Theodor W. Adorno
Calvin and Hobbes is my all-time favourite childhood comic
I didnât realize I was going to grow up into Calvinâs Dad, but here we are. I am very ok with this.
My favorite genre of self-portrait is cartoonists being bothered by their characters while trying to draw
Bill Watterson â Calvin and Hobbes (1986)
HergĂŠ â Tintin (1947, Tintin Magazine)
Jeff Smith â Bone (1993, Bone Holiday Special)
Walt Kelly â Pogo (1950, Maclean's Magazine)
And a bonus:
Berkeley Breathed â Bloom County
Gathering followers of my jort cause. THE HOMESTUCK is making people call me the âJizardâ. Iâm humiliated.

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wow millennials are glued to their i-phones and laptops so much they cant even be bothered robbing in person anymore!!! maybe these trust fund babies should stop phishing credit cards while sitting on their butts and go out there and put some elbow grease into their thievery!
I know exactly what happened. Because it happened to me.
I trained for years to be a con artist. I told my friends and family that I wanted to be a magician, but that was just a cover for why I was constantly practicing sleight of hand.Â
In junior high and high school, I would shop lift a bunch of candy on my way to school, sell it to kids at the morning break, and use that money to run a crooked poker game at lunch.
Finally, when I was 19 or 20, I felt I was ready, and I picked my first pocket. I was on the bus, bumped a guy as I passed down the aisle, got his wallet, super clean.
In the wallet was several hundred dollars. A huge first score, I had been hoping for a couple twenties. I sat there looking at the, like, 400 bucks, thinking.
That was my rent at the time. We were both on the bus. It was likely his rent too. Lord knows the only reason to carry that much cash on the bus is youâre on your way to pay a bill. We were both on the bus, you know? Thatâs not someone I was comfortable stealing from.
I tapped him on the shoulder and told him âhey i think you dropped thisâ and gave it back to him with all the money still in it. It was the first and last time I ever picked a pocket.
Picking a rich personâs pocket is a loosing game. They probably have credit cards and not cash, those credit cards probably have the best anti-theft measures their bank can provide, and you probably canât get close enough to those people to pick their pockets unless youâre already rich yourself.
The people whoâs pockets you can reliably pick are the people around you. The people who are also on the bus, who are in this same shitty situation with you.
As wealth inequality becomes more drastic picking pockets has very clearly become âstealing from other poor peopleâ and itâs not satisfying. I want to steal from Google and Apple and Fox and Facebook and General Mills and Hershey and Tesla. Not the person next to me.
i have a suggestion
functionally suicidal character saying âI would die for youâ to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me heâd sell hot dogs for me, I wouldnât feel very moved now would I
Now a functionally suicidal character saying âI will live for youâ. Now thatâs a dynamic I can sink my teeth into.
now how about a functionally suicidal character saying "I will sell hot dogs for you"
Hotdog vender lays down their life to protect their suicidal partner, who then takes over the hotdog stand to carry on their memory...
It's like talking to a 2010 Old Spice commercial with you people

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little miss awful body temperature regulation is taking his hoodie off again
little miss awful body temperature regulation has put his hoodie back on
awful back body has his hoodie little miss on put regulation temperature
stop that put my words back normal style
đ⨠get snailed! đâ¨
snop snat snut my snords back snormal snyle
i'll fucking do it you son of a bitch snop snat right now