𝖜𝖊 𝖜𝖍𝖔 𝖊𝖒𝖇𝖔𝖉𝖞

“thank god i have this pen.”

“it made him a glass person.”

“yes you’re half-devil, but everyone will cater to your every whim!”

“i used to drink milk through my nose.”

“kids loved it!”

“you’re weird, [name].”

“mother needs to be calmed down.”

“kick his ass! kick his ass, ma!”

“they remind me of villains from a stephen king novel.”

“I’m not too drunk to run!”

“you need to watch ‘great british bake-off!”

“i only hope his defence attorney was tim allen turning into a dog.”

“okay, now say it again but with marbles in your mouth.”

“johnny sellars has lived with jessie trudy and james judy, but james judy had picked up a bad drug habit, which caused trudy to leave judy and run into the arms of johnny.”

“if he was just, like, 4 iq points higher, he’d be selling herbalife.”

“it was like the mob … except really stupid and really dirty.”

“aw, i should have killed you when i had the chance!”

“that’s my song and i’m sticking to it.”

“that’s a fair use, i guess.”

“what an idiot.”

“it’s so stupid.”

“when i go on vacation i’ll take, like, a rock from where we went 'cause it’s a fun memory.”

“every time i give a gift of jewelry, i forward on the email receipt - let them know i bought it.”

“that is very rude.”

“that’s gonna scare cats.”

“i was just thinking about that the other day!”

“you probably learnt that from 'planet earth ii’, right?”

“he’s so bored by his own talent that he doesn’t even use it.”

“maybe this is what happens to harrison ford when he crashes all of his planes.”

“you forget he has a family this whole time.”

“the true crime industry is predicated on fear.”

“it’s bullshit.”

“it was the worst four years of my life, of which no pictures exist.”

“i wanna become a writer.”

“that must have hit home for him; getting his records expunged.”

“oh yeah, he was really sweet. what a sweet old man.”

“and that’s the final truth!”

“you know what i’m doing.”