ethereal.

teacher: here’s ur topic me: oh jeez i hate that topic teacher: pick your own topic me: oh jeez im not a decision maker

oh lets listen to the guy pretending to be waluigi on the internet they seem to clearly be rational and smart, much like i know waluigi to be

Yeah me having a waluigi themed account clearly negates my ability to have a fucking valid opinion. Ok.

You shouldn’t have let his words have the power to upset you, Waluigi

i cannot believe we are living in a time where we can witness a real-life nobel peace prize nominee, a young woman who has been face-to-face with a terrorist and not only survived but went on to spend every day of the rest of her life confronting the world’s most powerful head-on and saving the world, a living legend, a real-life superhero, using smiley face emojis in a facebook messenger groupchat with her classmates

please watch with sound on

You have a thing at 2:00 PM so you set a reminder for 1:00 PM because you don’t want to be late, but you should eat by 12:00 PM. That means you should start preparing food by 11:30 AM, but you want to double check or confirm the appointment before 11:00 AM before everyone goes to lunch. So if you want to finish your other tasks by 10:00 AM, you ought to start at 8:00 AM, which means you’ve got to wake up at 7:30 AM and you may as well get ready to go out then ahead of time, and that’s how something that starts at 2:00 PM effectively starts at 7:30 AM and lasts the entire day.

ME. ME. ME.

This is from the actual delta take off video instructions

An assassin is really just a serial killer who takes requests.

Excuse you, they take commissions

Honestly shoutout to The Social Network for giving us the line “you’re going to go through life thinking that girls don’t like you because you’re a nerd. And I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that that won’t be true. It’ll be because you’re an asshole” because if that doesn’t epitomize women’s feelings for entitled male nerds I don’t know what does

What is even..

mood

THE COPY HAS EYEBROWS

Your response to a beautiful piece of artwork done by Leonardo Da Vinci himself is “SHES GOT EYEBROWS”. Alright. All intelligent life has been lost.

Yo Snooty McSnotwhine, the Mona Lisa’s vanished eyebrows have been the subject of debate and analysis in the art expert community for hundreds of years, long before your parents squirted water at each other from across the clown car and then honked their bicycle horns to indicate they really wanted to make a smug, insufferable little clown baby together. 

this continues to be the best reply to a criticizing comment on this site

if u don’t kiss ur cat on their tiny soft little forehead wtf are u even doing

Yelling at her for trying to eat plastic

gay culture is wearing the same flannel twice because closed flannel and open flannel with a t shirt underneath are two completely different outfits

With the expert athletes on the sidelines yelling tips