Just a lady doing my best

youre saying this radio gave you head ?

you ever take a uquiz and realize halfway through that you don’t respect the author and their opinion is useless to you

And if the amusement park was called Six Fags instead? You ever think of that? No you only think about yourself.

maidens if you are going to flee dramatically from my castle in the middle of the night once i reveal my true nature to you please leave your candelabra on the little ledge by the portcullis we are running out of them

starting to think these maidens are stumbling in soaked through from the rain just to steal my beautiful gowns and homewear are any of you actually lost

GENTLE I MEANT GENTLE!!!!!!!!

Scrolling, sees this image, has to read the whole post to see what possible context it could have

Jonah just eyeing this ass from the other side of the synagogue.

w. would jonah be considered kosher..

Jonah just carrying around a wheel of cheese wherever he goes from now on for protection.

Short live the King

yeah that sounds about right

D, A, then E in that order

calling a work of fiction "saccharine and masturbatory" to indicate that it is awesome. just like sugar and cranking off

i hate job hunting so much why couldn’t i have just been sent abroad as a girl to serve at the court of margaret of austria and then later to serve a succession of french queens so that i could return to the english court years later as a lady of sophistication and charm capable of causing one of the greatest religious schisms in european history

if one more person reblogs this to tell me that Anne Boleyn got executed I’m gonna shake their hand and thank them because despite me evidently knowing the specifics of her early career in Europe pre-1522 I somehow was not aware of her extremely famous beheading. I had no idea. Thank you for enlightening me.

love david and goliath being like one of the main bible stories for kids. like yeah you might be small but with god on your side you can kill someone with a rock

Oh so when golden boy David does it, he’s heroic and a man after God’s own heart, but when I, CAIN-

I think that for every episode of bake off that has a foreign country as a theme there should be a special third judge that is just a grandma of that nationality and they should be equipped with an air horn they can toot in paul hollywood’s smug face whenever he confidently says something completely incorrect about a bake’s construction, flavour, texture, etc etc

I don't think this goes far enough. I think we should give the grandmas guns.

reblog if you have ever said you want to eat a man from new jersey