I cannot for the life of me comprehend why so many trans women have zero tolerance for female only spaces. There are some things we need to talk about that they donât experience, and when we try to talk about those things they talk over us and say we arenât being inclusive enough.Â
Literally, no fucking joke, I was talking with my friend who is a trans man about how weâre terrified of being forcibly impregnated and how the constant threat of being raped & impregnated, and menâs continued willingness to act on that threat is a form of terrorism and sex-based oppression, and four fuckin trans women AT ONCE started ganging up on us and saying that we were making them feel shitty and privileged for not being able to get pregnant. They kept going on and on about how much they wished they  could get pregnant, and how complaining about anything related to pregnancy makes them dysphoric. And then one of them went on for like 4 minutes about how a lot of their sexual fantasies involve them being pregnant or impregnated.Â
I shit you not. My friend was like âI hate having been born in a body thatâs seen as a breeding machine and that I was raised and socialized to be basically a breeding cow for men.â and they were like âWell, a lot of trans women actually wish we were seen that way and this is honestly getting really terfy and is making us feel dysphoric and shitty and you need to change the way you speak about this right now. Complaining about pregnancy oppresses trans women and other infertile women and itâs actually a privilege that either of you can get pregnant. Stop flaunting your AFAB privilege. â This is the same group of trans women who, immediately upon hearing me talk about my androphobia and penis-repulsion due to traumatic sexual experiences with males, asked âWell, what about girldick?â as if it made any fucking difference or was appropriate to ask to someone who just fucking opened up about sexual trauma.
And that whole interaction is why we need them. Not every single womenâs space needs to be female only, but we still NEED them, for fuckâs sake. Iâm not going to water down the reality of sex-based oppression by using degrading âinclusiveâ language when itâs already upsetting and degrading to talk about. You know who thinks of us as âwomb-bearersâ and âgestatorsâ? Men. The men who have those shitty breeding kinks. The men who get off to the idea of using women as breeding machines. The men who impregnate their wives and girlfriends to get them to stay in abusive relationships.Â
The types of trans women who react this violently to the thought of females having female-only spaces are the types of trans women who intentionally try to derail any conversations about sex-based oppression, accuse females of being TERFs for talking about their vaginas one fucking time, talk over females when they try to talk about female-only issues, and try to shame and guilt females into never talking about female-only issues with claims of the very mention of them causing extreme dysphoria or just being inherently transphobic.Â
Having female-only spaces is for our comfort and for the comfort of trans women. It lets us talk about our shit that literally only affects us and therefore only needs to include us. I know it feels shitty to be âexcludedâ but this LITERALLY does not include you because you will NEVER have these problems. For us to tackle sex-based oppression, which only females face, we need to be able to congregate in spaces soley for us so that we can name our experiences in a completely uncensored environment and formulate a battle plan.Â
Sometimes I want to ask âWhy canât you understand that?â but other times⌠I think thatâs the point. That they do understand and they wonât want us to talk about it, because it would lead to conversations about male privilege and who is exempt from it. About male violence and who is exempt from it.Â