Spooky

queue this post when it’s your birthday and be surprise

Okay this is funny but the OP of this like, ships Macron and Trudeau. Like the neoliberal hell nightmare boys.

Feeling highly lustful on this night and, a little bit gluttonous !

Sluttonous

You have my vote

you catch more flies with vinegar than with honey. really. vinegar is more attractive to flies, it smells like rotting fruit. 

Who the heck made you judge Judy and electricitioner?

this is the only acceptable phrasing

Now, I don’t know about flies, but lemme tell y'all, you catch more hornets with honey than vinegar.

crocodiles confirmed for cuter than human babies

@snakeybones @destrochao @wolfbeat @theblogofmystery

@broeckoli WHY WON’T YOU LET ME HAVE A CROCO

@broeckoli LET HIM HAVE A CROCO

Awww a cute fucker that can bite my finger off as a snack

some people think i learned braille for Cool Points but i actually learned it bc my medicine holder has the days printed in braille and i forget to take my medication a lot. i didnt feel like turning on a light one night just to see my medication so i learned braille out of spite. now everytime i go anywhere i have to read the braille signs and i have seen “woman” misspelled as “noman” SEVERAL times.

Tired Of Waking Up To Take Medication? Learn Braille

Oh my fucking god god god god god i just found the funniest picture while deep into google images

I gotta ask, what were you searching for that you dug up such a gem?

It was honestly something like “fucking Bingo boy when the binga bonga bling” i can tell you exactly when i get home

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I regret

when tumblr gets inevitably deleted lets all go on one giant google doc

we would all have to… maybe….. each type with a unique color…………. or perhaps some other way of making our text entirely unique and recognizable

Something unique about our typing styles… Something perhaps that one might call ‘quirky’………

What does this mean?

god i wish i was you

if you are attracted to both genders, even if it’s just 99:1 then you’re bi. if is 50:50, 63:37, 84.50:15.50, it doesn’t matter, you are bi. stop coming up with these other bullshit sexuality’s that are real unneeded.

@the-real-ted-cruz

as if the gays don’t think im a snack

“Semi-hotness” ok hold the phone y’all gotta stop

Thank you !!! Finally someone said it