Crazy Suicidal Headcase

if "29" is your idea of an older woman you have a flickering pale aura and you will not survive daylight saving time

i think the scientology speedrunners should start visiting the hospital mitch mcconnell is supposed to be in. i think it would be enriching for them

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

Everyone go look up the song nasa banned from space

im swimming at the lake and accidentally kicked a fish. this has never happened in my many years of swimming. sorry man

It’s called ‘being able to see the corpse’

So if I put you in an L-shaped swimming pool, and you knew there was a corpse around the corner, you'd be fine?

loving the implication that I'm a little animal and you're a scientist putting me into various bodies of water to test my corpse:water ratio tolerance

posts funnier with timestamps on