Ask AFAB

I’m sorry to hear about that, friend. :( It’s actually quite common for parents to be supportive of the LGBTQ+ community, but not support their child.

When I came out to my parents, they said something similar about not being able to view me as anyone but their daughter. We all want to feel accepted by the people that love & care about us. It’s easy to say “well if they really loved you, they would support you regardless!”, but it’s not that simple. 

What I recommend is take some time to do some self-discovery. It’s frustrating to question who you are, but that’s the first step you need to take until you’re able to discuss it further with your mom. Also, try to “follow” your anxious thoughts regarding your gender. Does your anxiety get worse when thinking about how people will react? Does it stem from genuinely feeling unsure, or is your mom’s response causing you to feel doubtful? 

It’s okay to feel anxious & uncomfortable. Remember to be patient with yourself. There’s no rush to have it all figured out. But don’t compromise your happiness for anyone’s approval. Moreover, don’t pressure yourself to identify as anything until you feel comfortable doing so. 

Once you think you have a better understanding of your gender, find some resources about nonbinary/other identities that you can share with your mom, & try to encourage her to ask questions. The more you educate yourself, the more confident you’ll feel discussing this topic.

Not invasive at all :) Yes, I have had top surgery. I had it almost 4 years ago on January 14, 2014! 

This will be updated as frequently as possible. Some links include other LGBQ+ info. Have a contribution, correction, or found a broken link? Please send me a message!

CRISIS INTERVENTION

The Trevor Project’s TrevorLifeline - Crisis intervention & suicide prevention phone service (24/7): 866-488-7386

Trevor Chat - Online messaging with a counselor

TrevorText - Text “Trevor” to 1-202-304-1200

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - 800-273-8255

Trans Lifeline - 877-565-8860 (US), (877) 330-6366 (Canada)

MEDICAL

World Professional Assoc. for Trans Health - Medical authority regarding trans healthcare

Gay & Lesbian Medical Assoc. - Med. resources for LGBTQ+ folk 

Howard Brown Health - Chicago, IL based med. services/resources

Minnesota Transgender Health Coalition  

EDUCATIONAL

Trans Student Educational Resources - Youth-led org focused on creating trans-friendly education systems

Campus Pride - For LGBTQ+ student leaders & campus groups

The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network - Resources for LGBTQ+ equality in education

GSA Network -  LGBTQ+ student info & advocacy

Welcoming Schools - Creating safe schools for children & families (for faculty/admins)

Point Foundation - LGBTQ+ scholarship & mentorship program

Day of Silence - Bringing awareness to the silencing effects of anti-LGBTQ+ harassment 

California Safe Schools Coalition - Safe school resources including law and policy

INFORMATIONAL

Refuge - Search engine to locate gender-neutral restrooms

The Advocate - LGBTQ+ news

Athlete Ally - Info on LGBTQ+ participation in sports

Hudson’s FTM Resource Guide - HRT info & other resources

The Gender Book

Genderqueer & Non-Binary Identities

LEGAL

Transgender Law Center - Services & info

American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU)

Transgender Law & Policy Institute

Sylvia Rivera Law Project - Services for people facing discrimination based on gender identity/expression

Lambda Legal - Services & info

FAMILY/YOUTH

Parents, Families, & Friends of Lesbians & Gays (PFLAG)

Mermaids - Family & individual support for teens & children with gender identity issues

The Youth & Gender Media Project - Films capturing young people who are questioning the gender binary

TransYouth Family Allies - Resources, workshops, & trainings

Trans Youth Equality Foundation - Resources, trainings, workshops, camps, & youth/parent groups 

TransFamily Support Services - Connects trans youth & families to a support system

Family Acceptance Project - Works to decrease health & related risks for LGBTQ+ youth

TransFamily - Ohio based resource group

COLAGE - Network for people with LGBTQ+ parents

Live Out Loud - Connecting youth with LGBTQ+ professionals

Advocates for Youth: I Think I Might Be Trans - Article

SERVICES/ORGANIZATIONS

The Trevor Project - Suicide prevention focusing on LGBTQ+ youth

It Gets Better Project - Anti-suicide resources

FIERCE - Building leadership & power of LGBTQ+ youth of colour

Bradbury-Sullivan LGBTQ+ Community Center - PA based center

The International Foundation for Gender Education 

Gender Diversity - Education & support services

Gender Spectrum - Helps create gender sensitive & inclusive environment for all children & teens.

Gender Justice League - Advocates for trans justice in LGBTQ+ orgs

National Center for Trans Equality 

TransActive - Intersectional org providing services for trans youth, families, & allies

YOUTUBE CHANNELS

Ash Hardell - Non-binary YouTuber & author

Jake Edwards - Non-binary YouTuber & musician

Milo Stewart - Non-binary YouTuber

Vesper - Non-binary YouTuber

Kaitlyn Alexander - Gender-neutral YouTuber

Chase Ross - FTM YouTuber. Reviews products for AFAB folk (NSFW)

Aaron Ansuini - FTM YouTuber

Alex Bertie - FTM YouTuber

Jeydon Wale - FTM YouTuber

Skylar Kergil - FTM YouTuber & musician

Ryan Cassata - FTM YouTuber & musician

Ty Turner - FTM YouTuber

Benton Sorenson - FTM YouTuber

Stef Sanjati - AMAB Beauty YouTuber

Gigi Gorgeous - AMAB Glamour/Fashion YouTuber & actress

Kat Blaque - AMAB YouTuber

FTM Transtastic - Collaborative channel covering AFAB topics

You’re So Brave - Podcast with Chase Ross & Aaron Ansuini

Top 100 Transgender YouTubers

Other resources

Yes, it most certainly does! [TW: Genitalia, dysphoria, NSFW below]

Hello!

I haven’t touched this blog in over 2 years & I decided to relaunch it. I am going to clean house a bit by deleting some posts, but I will keep the majority of previously answered questions.

Honestly, I have never heard of anyone getting this surgery before! I don’t think many surgeons would be willing to preform two different types of surgeries on one patient. 

I also believe because double incision is more invasive that it could alter the results of the side that had the keyhole done.

It never hurts to ask a surgeons opinion, but I don’t think it’s possible…

I don’t believe hormone blockers can reduce the size of your chest, but it will prevent it from growing any further. 

If you have a larger chest, the best way to try and reduce the size is to exercise! It’s not a guaranteed method, but it will help if you’re consistent. 

That’s a good question, actually! 

If you’re assigned female at birth, it’s possible to have higher levels of testosterone in your body than others, but it generally doesn’t increase just by realizing you’re trans, unfortunately. 

It could be wishful thinking or psychosomatic. It could also be you never noticed those things about yourself, or you’re subconsciously making it deeper, like you said. I can’t say for certain, but I don’t believe it’s biologically possible that your levels of testosterone increase just by realizing you’re trans. 

I agree with you 110%!

In my opinion, I think LGBT+ people feel as though they can’t express their sexuality or gender identity when taking sex ed because it targets the biological process of sex - cismale with cisfemale. 

Unfortunately, the reason sex ed is so vague is because their main priority is instilling fear in teenagers about the dangers of sex so they practice abstinence. Which, in reality, just leads to teenage pregnancies, STD’s, STI’s, etc, because of the lack of knowledge. 

Ironically, the media glorifies sex and objectification (primarily in ciswomen), but belittles people who openly talk about their sex life (again, primarily ciswomen). That’s because of America’s views of nudity and sexuality in general; it’s basically taboo. (I say America since that’s where I’m form and all I can speak for)

Ignore them. Your transition is your own personal experience. 

“You have to be on hormones to be trans”, “You have to get surgery to be trans” “You have to hate your body to be trans.”

Lies, lies, and more lies! These are all the things that I heard when I was 15 and just came out. Just because certain people experience dysphoria and need hormones or surgery doesn’t mean you/other people do! 

I don’t want bottom surgery right now. That doesn’t make me “less trans” than an AFAB person who did have bottom surgery.

Go at your own pace. Start hormones/get surgery when YOU want if you want to. If you don’t, ignore those who try to pressure you to do so. 

I’m so glad you were able to feel at ease with yourself!! I’m so proud of you!

My gender is definitely fluid as well, so it absolutely makes sense. :) 

I quite literally burned some childhood photos of mine, which I wholeheartedly regret now. I’m glad to hear that you don’t get upset about them!